# Bengals 2-0...apocolypse? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 24, 2001, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482 "2001-09-24T14:05:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/1 "2001-09-24T14:05:42Z")
I believe Nostradamus said, In the ninth month of the debated second or first year of the new century, the men of striped head shall cause a great rumbling amongst black birds of defense. And the great war shall start soon after. But seriously…what is UP with the NFL? I thought 99 was a crazy season, but literally people: up is down, black is white, I’m listening to Celine Dion…what’s going on here? Bengals are a defensive powerhouse against the SUPERBOWL champions? The Bears beat the Vikings? The BROWNS beat Detroit? I mean, my confidence league was SHOT this week. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/2 "2001-09-24T14:17:25Z")
Fear not my child…verily sayith thy Lord…for it was Monday Night Football in Green Bay…And God’s presense was flowing through the hollowed grounds of Lambeau…and the Lord spoketh…and the Green and Gold listened…and opened up a can of major whup ass on the 'Skins. Things will then be as they should. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/3 "2001-09-24T14:21:08Z")
Funny, because I prayed to MY Lord yesterday and he promised a broken arm for Brett. I guess we’ll see who God loves more. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/4 "2001-09-24T14:21:10Z")
I was thinking the same thing last night as I listened to the scores. It’s surreal, I tell ya. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/5 "2001-09-24T14:23:43Z")
I can’t see the scores through my tears. At least when the Vikings lose to the Buccaneers next week, it’ll be easier to accept, because, y’know, the Bucs aren’t that bad of a team. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/6 "2001-09-24T14:27:02Z")
aw, don’t be bitter. You can’t make it to the first round of the playoffs _every_ year. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/7 "2001-09-24T14:27:32Z")
Not to worry. My beloved New Enlgand Patsies are 0-2. All is right with the world. Although I am concerned about this Celine Dion thing. - Pete ---
**Author:** ![random1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/47e85d/32.png) [@random1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/random1)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/8 "2001-09-24T14:28:45Z")
I actually live in Cincinnati. It is raining frogs here this morning. And the morning talk shows are declaring the Bengals the next super bowl champions. It is truly a frightening time to be alive. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/9 "2001-09-24T14:29:26Z")
I was on ICQ with Weirddave last night and he mentioned his beloved Ravens losing. I said “To the Bengals? I don’t know anything about NFL, and even I know they suck!!” he went quiet after that 😉 ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/10 "2001-09-24T14:31:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Funny, because I prayed to MY Lord yesterday and he promised a broken arm for Brett. > > I guess we’ll see who God loves more. > > jarbaby \*\* Baby Jesus cries when hack actress/writers pray for evil things for “God’s Team”. Baby Jesus thinks you’ll be sitting next to some pervert with a major case of halitosis on the El today. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/11 "2001-09-24T14:32:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by beagledave \* > Baby Jesus thinks you’ll be sitting next to some pervert with a major case of halitosis on the El today. Favre’s in TOWN? ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/12 "2001-09-24T14:39:54Z")
I know we are all in shock over the Bengal’s victory over last year’s Super-Bowl champions, but we must move on and deal with the practical problems that have arisen along with this outcome. Now, do any of you have any idea on how to deal with flying pigs? ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/13 "2001-09-24T14:42:19Z")
Pigs? It’s the torrents of fire I’m worried about. I have dry skin. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/14 "2001-09-24T14:45:27Z")
You know what’s even scarier?? There next few games are winnable. SD will be tough. Can you say ‘Super Bowl’? upcoming… San Diego Pittsburgh Cleveland Chicago Detroit ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/15 "2001-09-24T14:45:40Z")
Yeah, making it to the NFC championship game twice in three years is good enough for anyone. I’d trash-talk the Bears, but it’s too easy for someone to just ask how many Super Bowls the Vikings have won. So, hell. I need SOME team to cheer for that might actually have a chance. The Packers are automatically excluded and I hope Favre gets hooked on some more painkillers, or maybe Rogaine. The Bears played well against Baltimore, though, and spanked the Vikings. So, jbj, any room on that Chicago bandwagon for a fair-weather fan looking any excuse to smile on a Sunday? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/16 "2001-09-24T15:01:31Z")
Wow, two whole wins. The Bengals are 2-0 on their way to 6-10 or 7-9. They’ll be serious contenders next year, maybe the year after. By the way, anyone who loves NFL football should get “Front Office Football 2001.” I love it. Great fun to build your own team, work with a salary cap, even demand a new stadium. It’s a gas. Search for it online. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/17 "2001-09-24T18:35:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by random1 \* > I actually live in Cincinnati. > > It is raining frogs here this morning. And the morning talk shows are declaring the Bengals the next super bowl champions. It is truly a frightening time to be alive. The frogs are a drag; my wiper blades were all gunked with frog guts by the time I got to work this morning. I think a bullfrog wonked Rue DeDay on the head, so there was no whimsical stuff to read with my morning coffee. As for the flying pigs, **Blackclaw** , just go get a Shell No-Pig-Strip[sup]TM[/sup]. But make sure to change it regularly, you don’t want a bunch of those things hanging like the Swine of Damacles over your head. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/18 "2001-09-24T22:41:59Z")
Cincinnati…Cleveland…Chicago…San Diego… There is something not right with this. On my Yahoo! fantasy picks, I scored 19 points this week. _ **19 points people!!!** _ That is NOT RIGHT!!! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/19 "2001-09-24T23:09:19Z")
Yes, **Ladyfoxfyre** , that isn’t gonna win too many contests, BUT, the week isn’t over. Mr Favre might win you some points tonight, assuming you picked The Pack. Plus remember there was a bye week for 3 teams, which means you had one less game to pick, and I’m sure you woulda got that one right. ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2001, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482/20 "2001-09-24T23:43:59Z")
Actually eveyone knows the only NFL team _Officially Sanctioned by God_ in the Denver Broncos . . . and they are doing just fine thank you. Seriously though, I think there is real parity in the NFL this year. No one sucks too bad, and no one is really running away with the Lombardi at this point. I’d say the best teams in the league at this early stage of the season are : Denver, Philly, the Giants and maybe Green Bay. I don’t think the Titans have too much to worry about, they will bounce back. The self-destruction of the Vikings both on and off the field has been quite humorous. Hey purple people . . . be afraid, be very afraid. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bengals-2-0-apocolypse/83482.md?page=2)