# Berlitz Guide To Parent-Teacher Conferences? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 8, 2025, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/berlitz-guide-to-parent-teacher-conferences/1018105 "2025-05-08T16:57:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/berlitz-guide-to-parent-teacher-conferences/1018105/1 "2025-05-08T16:57:31Z")
I’m reading this New Yorker cartoon where they offer translations for teachers to parents, such as; “Marches to a different drummer”…. _Nuts_ “Needs to brush up on people skills”… _Sociopath_ “Creative”… _None too bright._ “Very creative”… _A moron, actually_. “She’s a riot”… _I can’t stand her._ “Doing just fine”… _what was your kids name again?_ Though slightly mean spirited, it’s a funny idea. I’m not one to get upset at satire. They could have picked funnier examples. It made me wonder, though: 1. Can you think of funnier examples? 2. What similar “Berlitz Guides” are needed? 3. Any real life examples of academic euphemism? ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/berlitz-guide-to-parent-teacher-conferences/1018105/2 "2025-05-08T16:59:04Z")
“A pleasure in class” … At least they don’t cause problems. “Extremely bright” … Grades my papers for me. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/berlitz-guide-to-parent-teacher-conferences/1018105/3 "2025-05-08T17:10:04Z")
“Strong communication skills” … _Won’t shut up in class_ “Born leader” … _Bullies other kids to do their homework and/or dirty work_ “Strong entrepreneurial spirit …” … _Has a lucrative black market trade going on …_ “… but needs to learn discipline” … _… and I’m not getting a cut of the profits_ “… sure to be a business leader” … _… is cutting me in if I keep my mouth shut_ ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/berlitz-guide-to-parent-teacher-conferences/1018105/4 "2025-05-08T17:15:43Z")
“quiet” - sleeps in class ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/berlitz-guide-to-parent-teacher-conferences/1018105/5 "2025-05-08T17:32:02Z")
> [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > Any real life examples of academic euphemism? “We’re thinking that an alternative setting would be far more beneficial for your child.” Translation: '“Your child is so disturbed and uncontrollable that not even our LBS1 staff here at school can do anything with him, so we are going to assign him to our ECHO school that specializes in severely disturbed or disabled children.” ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/berlitz-guide-to-parent-teacher-conferences/1018105/6 "2025-05-08T17:48:51Z")
> [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > 1. What similar “Berlitz Guides” are needed? There should be a huge thick book called The Berlitz Guide To Job Interviews “We’re like family in this company” = be prepared to live in the office and work 80 hours a week ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/berlitz-guide-to-parent-teacher-conferences/1018105/7 "2025-05-08T19:27:00Z")
Nm Dumb(me not you) ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/berlitz-guide-to-parent-teacher-conferences/1018105/8 "2025-05-08T19:39:07Z")
> [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > What similar “Berlitz Guides” are needed? ISTR _MAD_ magazine featuring one for real estate listings in an issue. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/berlitz-guide-to-parent-teacher-conferences/1018105/9 "2025-05-08T22:18:55Z")
What’s the standard parent translation for “Needs to participate more in class”? Because that’s the one I use most. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/berlitz-guide-to-parent-teacher-conferences/1018105/10 "2025-05-08T23:12:38Z")
A little bragging here. We always got: “What are you taking up my time for? There are parents I really have to see.” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/berlitz-guide-to-parent-teacher-conferences/1018105/11 "2025-05-08T23:17:50Z")
I’ve never quite said that out loud, but I have started conferences with “Your daughter has 102%. Is there something you wanted to talk about?” Which is usually answered by “No, not really, we just like to meet all of her teachers.”. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/berlitz-guide-to-parent-teacher-conferences/1018105/12 "2025-05-09T16:11:18Z")
“Tell me the project that you had the most fun doing.” – _@Bump didn’t do his homework for the job interview and is throwing the candidate a curveball so he can read their resume_ ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/berlitz-guide-to-parent-teacher-conferences/1018105/13 "2025-05-09T18:48:07Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > A little bragging here. We always got: “What are you taking up my time for? There are parents I really have to see.” We heard “the parents who show up are not the ones who need to show up.”