Alas, the closest REM ever came to a number-one-jam was “Stand” which peaked at #6, followed by “The One I Love” at #9 and “Shiny Happy People” at #10.
In consolation, I offer you “Down By The Water”, a 2010 release by the Decemberists about working-class despair in Portland Oregon, featuring Peter Buck on the twelve-string… which also went nowhere close to #1, but did actually chart on the Hot 100 and is a pretty good song anyway.
Thanks…I’ll check it out!
Wow, there were a lot of ballads at #1 this year! Even bands like Human League and Berlin took the ballad route to #1.
Several songs this year that I liked back in 1986, and still like today. “Rock Me Amadeus”, “The Way It Is”, “Higher Love”, “Invisible Touch” and “Holding Back The Years” could all have been my pick if they had been released in a different year. But for me, this was the year of Peter Gabriel and “Sledgehammer”. I must have listened to “So” close to 100 times back then. No contest for me.
My vote went to Bruce Hornsby and the Range with “The Way It Is.” Other ones that I considered but that fell just short included “Glory of Love,” “Live to Tell,” and “When I Think of You.”
Picking the song that finishes dead-ass last is pretty easy: “Holding Back the Years” is dreadful. However, “Sara,” “On My Own,” “There’ll Be Sad Songs,” and “True Colors” shouldn’t gloat too much. They suck too, just not as much as Simply Red’s bullshit.
A few other notes:
“Say You Say Me” sucks in general, but the bridge of that song kicks ass.
Here’s my favorite version of “Rock Me Amadeus.” It’s Wilford Brimley rapping about his diabeetus testing supplies.
“Kiss” is one of my least-favorite Prince songs, so I didn’t consider him for 1986.
I hate all of Cyndi Lauper’s songs, with the exception of “All Through the Night” (which I don’t believe was actually her song).
Steve Winwood’s “Higher Love” (along with his very similar “Roll with It”) are the exact definition of musical mediocrity for me. In other words, they get a score of 500 out of a perfect 1000 in the world-famous Ponch8 Music Rating System. I saw Winwood open for Tom Petty a couple of months ago. I was shocked to learn he’d been in the Spencer Davis Group (singers of “Gimme Some Lovin’”) and Traffic (singers of “Dear Mr. Fantasy”). Those songs have a lot more character to them than “Higher Love.”
I think there’s only one song on this list that wouldn’t make me change the radio station, and that would be “Addicted to Love.” I don’t really like it very much, but I would tolerate it, which is more than I can say for the rest.
Ugh, I hated Sledgehammer, still do. My choice was Kyrie by Mr. Mister.
Meanwhile, that year I listened a lot to:
Elvis Costello-King of America
Butthole Surfers-Rembrandt Pussyhorse
Hüsker Dü - Candy Apple Grey
Probably the best year for me since 1976 or so, although that’s not saying much. I voted for “The Way it Is,” but " Kiss" is one of those songs I like better now than when it came out. There were songs by Springsteen and Dire Straits I liked in the eighties, but they were’t big hits. Maybe my dislike of eighties music comes partly from the fact that I spent most of the decade unsuccessfully trying to get a date. I did have my only girlfriend of the decade the second half of this year, but I don’t think that made me like the music better.
Voted for Bruce Hornsby. Interestingly, the first time I heard that song (kinda) was in 2Pac’s version ‘Changes’, which came out when I was in college. I fell in love with the piano part, and went out and found the original. Powerful piano playing with meaningful lyrics and a tasteful dose of 80s production values.
It was hard to not vote for Kiss, Addicted to Love, or True Colors which are also great, great songs (if I hadn’t given Cyndi Lauper love in '84 I might have picked her for this year).
Lots of mediocrity on the list. I went with Bananarama.
“Oh it ees all a part of Life’s Rich Pageant” - Inspector Closeau
I’d forgotten where the LP’s title came from. Thanks for the reminder!
They should have called their next album I Like to Watch.
I was taking a college course on social justice with a strong focus on causes of poverty and our response. We did a lot of work in soup kitchens and shelters and took day trips to parts of America I never knew existed. The Way It Is was charting at the time and had a huge emotional impact during a period of personal growth, so it gets my vote. Still moves me to hear it today, plus it’s just a beautiful tune.
Wow, 1986 was a very good year in retrospect. 1986 me would have voted for “Invisible Touch”, but 2014 me voted for “Sledgehammer”.
I adore Simply Red. Love Mick’s voice.
An interesting year. A bunch of songs (Simply Red, Sara) I don’t recognize by name or artist but which I recognize once I Youtube them, so they were part of the earworms of my mid-20’s.
I’m going to go with Madonna, “Live to Tell” on this one. I’ve never really been a fan of any of her incarnations, but “Live to Tell” seemed to transcend her usual body of work (which at this period was mostly about being a somewhat seedy sex goddess). I can’t really vote for Sledgehammer (yes, it’s obviously a metaphor) when SO had songs like Mercy Street, Red Rain and Don’t Give Up on it.
Honorable mentions to Heart’s “These Dreams” – it was way overplayed at the time, and Heart is a band that I thought never quite lived up to their promise, but this one has some pretty cool imagery (“Walk without a scratch through a stained glass wall.”). Also True Colors – almost as good as last year’s Time after Time. And “Walk Like an Egyptian” which, for a novelty song, has staying power.
I’d love to vote for The Bangles for… a whole lot of reasons but there’s no way I’d vote for this song.
Now, they only had another #1 single if I’m not mistaken but I’m not sure I’ll pick that one either. It will depend on the competition.
Several of 1985’s also-rans would be cleaning up in the voting in this thread if they’d hit #1 a year later than they did.
I went with “Kyrie” with "These Dreams’ and “Walk Like an Egyptian” being my second and third choices.
Well, why not? “Egyptian” is a lively, fun pop song. There was nothing manic about “Monday”; it was 3 minutes of whining about trivialities that remind me, even still, of Goddam in Bored of the Rings. And “If She Knew” was just another unremarkable pop song - more tolerable than “Manic Monday” but that’s about it.
“Egyptian” is pretty much the only reason anyone remembers the Bangles.
And while I was listening to enough pop music at that time that I recognize all but maybe five of the songs on the list, there’s still a big divergence between these songs and the music I found interesting at the time.
To me, 1986 means Graceland. These are the days of lasers in the jungles…
Personally, this list is even more mediocre and bad than 1980, 1981, 1982, 1984, and 1985. 1983 was relatively decent, though. 
I went with Lauper this time, although the first time I heard that song, it was as a cover for one of the Disney movies…