# Best all-time SNL commercials **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 13, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897 "2009-07-13T20:28:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/1 "2009-07-13T20:28:24Z")
Okay, after [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=523858) and [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=524068) and especially [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=523934), let’s get down to specifics – SNL’s best commercial parodies. For purposes of discussion, let’s define a commercial parody as those bits that were actually supposed to look and feel like commercials, whether live ([Dan Ackroyd’s Bass-O-Matic](http://www.hulu.com/watch/19046/saturday-night-live-bassomatic)) or shot outside the show. So many to choose from, but the winner is [Old Glory Insurance](http://www.hulu.com/watch/2340/saturday-night-live-old-glory). “For when the metal ones decide to come for you…and they will.” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/2 "2009-07-13T20:34:51Z")
[First CityWide Change Bank](http://www.hulu.com/watch/4258/first-citywide-change-bank-1) ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/3 "2009-07-13T20:52:47Z")
Two favorites: “Speedy Express - when it needs to be there tomorrow, call the other guys. When it needed to be there yesterday, call us. We’ll take your package - and the blame.” This one won’t be funny to anyone who didn’t see the real Folger’s Coffee commercials back in the 80’s, but it was a spot-on parody of them: “We’re here at New York University Medical Center, where thousands of pints of blood are pumped into patients to save their lives…now watch what happens when we replace that blood with Folger’s Crystals…Folger’s. Thick enough, rich enough to replace human blood.” ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/4 "2009-07-13T20:57:24Z")
Old Glory is far and away my favorite, but an honorable mention should go to Oops! I Just Crapped My Pants. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/5 "2009-07-13T20:58:18Z")
[Little Chocolate Donuts](http://www.break.com/tv-shows/saturday-night-live/little-chocolate-donuts-626130.html) ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/6 "2009-07-13T21:07:03Z")
My personal favorite was Gilda Radner & Lorraine Newman discussing their dogs and the treats Puppy Uppers and Doggie Downers. They showed a Min Pin leaping all over in need of Doggie Downers, and a mellow, laid back Doberman in need of his Puppy Uppers. The boxes were Milk Bone boxes with the dogs’ eyes altered. It was freakin’ hilarious, and I still threaten my dogs with it…“Kharma, settle down!Or I’m gona get you some Doggie Downers!” ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/7 "2009-07-13T21:30:47Z")
1. The one for religon disguised as a beer/credit card type lifestyle commercial with the jingle "Where you’re going, you’ve always known it, where you’re going, you’re on your way…with scenes of attractive upwardly mobiles engaged in fun activities… ending with …“where you’re going, you’re going to pay”, as a shot of a beer glass dissolves into the flames of hell. 1. Colon Blow cereal 2. The one where the teenage girl compares her monthly flow to the elevator scene in “The Shining” ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/8 "2009-07-13T21:31:21Z")
It’s a stretch, but I gotta go with [Lettuce.](http://www.hulu.com/watch/1422/saturday-night-live-snl-digital-short-lettuce) Just for being so out there. ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/9 "2009-07-13T21:38:09Z")
Both of my favorites are Chris Farley ones. First the Schmitz Gay beer commercial, a parody of all those beer ads in the '90s where the hot looking women would just appear out of nowhere. Except here it’s a bunch of buff looking dudes in Speedos. Then there’s the one that’s a parody of those '80s coffee commercials where diners in some hoity-toity restaurant would be told that their fancy coffee was replaced with some cheaper version (I forget what company it was for), and be pleasantly surprised. Somebody tells Chris Farley this and he goes apeshit, screaming and literally tearing up the place. ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/10 "2009-07-13T21:42:28Z")
I agree with Colon Blow and the gay beer Schmitts. There was one for a pill you could take if your son was gay, think it was called Homocil ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/11 "2009-07-13T21:46:56Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > [First CityWide Change Bank](http://www.hulu.com/watch/4258/first-citywide-change-bank-1) Postin’ “me too,” like some brain-dead AOLer. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/12 "2009-07-13T21:47:10Z")
> [@Sound Mind](#): > > 1. The one where the teenage girl compares her monthly flow to the elevator scene in “The Shining” That was an SNL commercial? Don’t they also make that comparison in the Cherokee Hair Tampon one in South Park? ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/13 "2009-07-13T21:58:23Z")
[Annuale](http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/annuale/221774/) ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/14 "2009-07-13T21:59:04Z")
JoeBuck: > [@](#): > > Then there’s the one that’s a parody of those '80s coffee commercials where diners in some hoity-toity restaurant would be told that their fancy coffee was replaced with some cheaper version (I forget what company it was for), and be pleasantly surprised. That was Folger’s, which was also parodied in the one I mentioned in my post above. I didn’t realize how much parody material there was in that commercial series. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/15 "2009-07-13T22:02:21Z")
Old Glory Insurance, of course, kicks shiny metal ass. But I also liked Nerf Crotch Bats (“Nerf + Crotch = Lots of fun!”), Action Cats (“Action Cats are awesome!”), [NCI](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/93/93anci.phtml) (“If you switch to NCI now - the next time you make a long-distance call, we will murder your boss. And you’ll recive one hour of free calls to anywhere in the continental United States.”) , and of course Happy Fun Ball. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/16 "2009-07-13T22:15:25Z")
[Shimmer!](http://www.hulu.com/watch/61320/saturday-night-live-shimmer-floor-wax) “It’s a floor wax!” “It’s a dessert topping!” AND: [The Love Toilet.](http://www.hulu.com/watch/61322/saturday-night-live-the-love-toilet#s-p5-st-i2) ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/17 "2009-07-13T22:22:58Z")
I botta go with Bass-0-Matic. In second place was the one that was a parody of Smucker’s _“With a name like Painful Rectal Itch it has to be good!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/18 "2009-07-13T22:25:15Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > [Annuale](http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/annuale/221774/) This, because of how pitch perfect it was… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/19 "2009-07-13T22:37:52Z")
The Royal Deluxe II. The car with such a smooth ride that a moehl could circumcise a newborn in the back seat while speeding down a bumpy road. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897/20 "2009-07-13T22:39:11Z")
I’m at work right now, so I can’t find a link to a video of it, but I’ve always been partial to Bill Murray’s commercial for Swill, the natural bottled water from Lake Erie. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-all-time-snl-commercials/502897.md?page=2)