# Best And Worst Christmas Songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 2, 2002, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928 "2002-12-02T08:24:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/1 "2002-12-02T08:24:34Z")
We were putting up our tree this weekend and had the digital cable network in the background…only Christmas music. Wow. There is a LOT out there. It seems like every singer in the world has put out a Christmas album at one time or another. However, I will go out on a limb here. The best Christmas song of all time: White Christmas by Bing Crosby (The Christmas Song…“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…” is a close second…) The worst Christmas song of all time: Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. Your nominees? ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/2 "2002-12-02T08:53:08Z")
Best : **Merry Christmas Baby** - _Charles Brown_ Worst: That freakin’ **12 days of Christmas** song. **AAAAARRRRGH!** I’ll tell you where to put them golden rings!!! ---
**Author:** ![Philosophocles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Philosophocles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philosophocles)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/3 "2002-12-02T09:27:46Z")
Worst: Have a Very Menudo Christmas, by Menudo ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/4 "2002-12-02T11:28:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Philosophocles \* > \*\*Worst: Have a Very Menudo Christmas, by Menudo \*\* I whole-heartedly agree with this. As to the best: _Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht_, as sung by Leontyne Price. This is from this [album](http://www.coolforever.com/html/lps/leontyneprice_achristmasoffering.html), which is the best collection of Christmas music ever! ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/5 "2002-12-02T12:05:21Z")
Best: _Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa_ by De la Soul is always nice when you’re all glurged up from too much Jingle Bell Rock. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/6 "2002-12-02T14:29:27Z")
I’m with PeanutHead, 12 days of Christmas . I think a service to humanity would be to invent a time machine and go back in time and prevent this song from having ever been written. Then we wouldn’t have all of the mindless spinoffs. However, a close second is Grandma got run over by a reindeer. ---
**Author:** ![Winnie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e480ec/32.png) [@Winnie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnie)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/7 "2002-12-02T14:48:56Z")
There’s a rarely-played Bing Crosby song called “How Lovely Is Christmas”. It was on a children’s Christmas album I had when I was a kid (still have the album!) and that song is one of the most gorgeous holiday tunes I can think of. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/8 "2002-12-02T15:14:55Z")
Yes! No one beat me to it, yet. Must. Post. Fast. The best Christmas song EVAH is **Fairytale of New York** by _The Pogues ft. Kirsty Maccoll_. End. Of. Discussion. ---
**Author:** ![cckerberos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@cckerberos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cckerberos)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/9 "2002-12-02T15:18:01Z")
I’ve always loved **The Carol of the Bells** , maybe because it’s one of the few traditional Christmas songs that isn’t played all that often. ---
**Author:** ![Jerrybear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8c91f0/32.png) [@Jerrybear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jerrybear)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/10 "2002-12-02T15:18:08Z")
Best one is, without a doubt, “Happy Christmas/War Is Over” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono. Chuck Berry’s “Run, Run Rudolph” is pretty cool as well, especially the live versions by the Grateful Dead from their 1971 Ann Arbor, Michigan concerts. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/11 "2002-12-02T15:39:33Z")
\*\* We Need a Little Christmas \*\* is the best, if it’s sung right and has all the verses. Also a little known Irving Berlin song called \*\* The Happy New Year Blues \*\* is excellent. Both on the CD “A Broadway Christmas.” Gee, if 12 Days of Xmas had never been written, then we’d never have \*\* The 12 Days of Phantom \*\*. Which I love. Or the Muppets version of the song, which is great. Ba-drumpa-bum-bop. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/12 "2002-12-02T15:56:35Z")
Absolute worst Christmas song of all time: “[I Am Santa Claus](http://www.towerrecords.com/product.asp?pfid=1048622&cc=USD)” (sung to the tune of “I Am Iron Man”). Best: [Christmas Eve in Sarajevo](http://www.towerrecords.com/product.asp?pfid=1204044&cc=USD)" or just about any Christmas song off a Mannheim Steamroller cd. Regarding “Run, Rudolph, Run”, who the hell is Randalph? > [@](#): > > [lyrics link](http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/homealone/runrudolphrun.htm) > Out of all the reindeer you know you’re the mastermind > Run, run Rudolph, Randalph’s not too far behind ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/13 "2002-12-02T16:17:10Z")
Best: “Tennessee Christmas” as sung by Amy Grant on her _first_ Christmas Album (yes, she’s had two.) Worst: (tie) “Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer,” and “Jingle Bells,” when it’s done by barking dogs. Both are hackneyed, one-joke tunes that should’ve been forgotten by Dec. 26 the year they were written, but instead are played endlessly every year in my neck o’ the woods. Funniest: “Walking Round in Women’s Underwear” to the tune of “Walkin’ In A Winter Wonderland” sample lyric: \*In the store – there’s a teddy, Little straps – like spaghetti, It holds me so tight, Like handcuffs at night, Walkin’ 'round in women’s underwear. In the office there’s a guy named Melvin, He pretends that I am Murphy Brown. He’ll say, “Are you ready?” I’ll say,“Whoa, Man!” “Let’s wait until our wives are out of town!” \* ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/14 "2002-12-02T16:17:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DMark \* > **The best Christmas song of all time: > White Christmas by Bing Crosby** Did you know that Irving Berlin’s original first verse is usually not sung? > [@](#): > > [lyrics link](http://www.kcmetro.cc.mo.us/pennvalley/biology/lewis/crosby/wxmas.html) > The sun is shining > The grass is green > The orange and palm trees sway. > I’ve never seen such a day > In Beverly Hills LA. > But it’s December the 24th > And I am longing to be up North. Additional info about the Guinness record holding\* single can be found in the December issue of Reader’s Digest. \*Best-selling single of all time. Elton John’s tribute to Princess Di also held the #1 spot but White Christmas has regained its stature. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/15 "2002-12-02T16:47:29Z")
Best: Off the Phil Spector Christmas Album, Winter Wonderland, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Thos are the only versions of those songs I can stand. Also, Christmas Rapping by the Waitresses, I think. It’s the one about going to the store to get cranberries. And the entire “It’s Christmas Charlie Brown” soundtrack by Vince Guiraldi. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/16 "2002-12-02T16:59:05Z")
The worst and most bizarre Christmas song of all time? It’s not even close: Tiny Tim’s “Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS This Year.” I heard him sing this one on Howard Stern’s show not long before he died… and I while I knew Tiny Tim was a genuine weirdo, I had no idea he was so hopelessly out to lunch. The guy didn’t seem malicious- just really STUPID! I don’t THINK he intended the song as a joke, either. I think he honestly believed he was making some sort of social commentary by giving Santa Claus AIDS… but the lyrics make it clear that Tiny didn’t grasp the nature of AIDS in the least. His lyrics made it sound like AIDS was a bad cold that Santa would get over in a few months… so don’t worry kiddies, Sanata will be back, good as new, next year. This is just one of those songs that’s so bad, you WANT to laugh (a la MST3K), only it’s so sick, so wrong-headed, you CAN’T laugh. You can’t do much except sit there in a stupor, wondering, “What the heck could he POSSIBLY have been thinking?” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/17 "2002-12-02T18:06:31Z")
Just remembered something I saw over the weekend, it was an Oak Ridge Boys concert titled “An Inconvenient Chrsistmas”. The fact that it was recorded in Branson should have been a tipoff. Yeesh, what dreck! If it hadn’t been for the interminable pleas for $14\* to feed starving American children I would have kept watching just for the amusement value (e.g.: the audience cheering every time [Richard](http://www.oakridgeboys.com/Pages/richard.html) had a solo. WTF?) but instead I changed the channel after 15 minutes. \*a $14 donation buys 100 pounds of food? Exactly how does that work? 100 pounds of what, canned beans? And how much of that $14 goes toward overhead? ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/18 "2002-12-02T18:10:43Z")
I have a soft spot in my heart for “Do They Know It’s Christmas”. for some reason my glurge-rejection system totally fails on this one, even though it definitelly qualifies. For traditional songs, I like a lot of the ones mentioned. For novelty songs, I always enjoy “Blue Christmas” by Porky Pig and, although I’m not a South Park fan in general, I love Cartman singing “O Holy Night”. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/19 "2002-12-02T18:17:46Z")
Also from South Park, “A Lonely Jew at Christmas” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928/20 "2002-12-02T18:23:24Z")
Well, I’m reluctant to call it the absolute _best_, but I have a real soft spot for “Good King Wenceslas”. Worst is a tough call, but I’ve always thought “The Holly And The Ivy” was pretty stupid. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-christmas-songs/139928.md?page=2)