# Best and Worst Local Business Slogans **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 13, 2004, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033 "2004-05-13T23:54:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/1 "2004-05-13T23:54:46Z")
What businesses in your area have the best slogans? The worst? **Best** From a Pizza restaurant: “Watch Your Pizza Being Made by Imported Hands.” Always makes me smile. **Worst** From a Nail Salon: “All Nails Done by Professionals.” While I suppose it’s nice to know they don’t take people off the street and let them do it for the fun of it, it hardly seems like a major selling point. _Any_ nail salon that pays its workers is using professionals, isn’t it? What are your choices. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/2 "2004-05-14T00:16:12Z")
It’s preety much impossible to Google an actual image, but I kid you not that Norfol England hosts a firm by the name: _ **George Bush and Sons: Wholesale Butchers** _ ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/3 "2004-05-14T00:28:39Z")
Culver City Meats: “You Can’t Beat Our Meat.” It’s emblazoned on their delivery trucks. There is also a car wash in Hermosa Beach called “Hand Job”. Not really a slogan, but people seem to enjoy it. ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/4 "2004-05-14T00:29:37Z")
Well, my fave is here in Los Angeles: Culver City Meat Company’s slogan is “You Can’t Beat our Meat.” And their trucks bearing the slogan are [frequently seen](http://photos.metafilter.com/index.cfm/series/22/start/36) on local freeways. ---
**Author:** ![modro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@modro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/modro)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/5 "2004-05-14T01:00:55Z")
I’m rather partial to the slogan you see on the local Tourney Electric trucks… “Let us remove your shorts.” ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/6 "2004-05-14T01:52:53Z")
Not a slogan exactly, but a few years ago two of our local medical doctors decided to branch out and open a real estate business. The sign above their new business? “Swindall & Crook Real Estate” That sign lasted about a week. I think their office manager noticed lots of people stopping to take pictures and had a “D’oh” experience. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/7 "2004-05-14T02:04:25Z")
There is a dry cleaning business in Albuquerque that used to have “Drop your pants here” on its sign. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/8 "2004-05-14T02:35:37Z")
I’ve never understood _With a name like Smuckers, it had to be good!_. No it doesn’t- it could suck AND have an ugly name. A funeral home in Alabama had the slogan “We treat your loved ones like they were ours”. I’m hoping they’re just referring to their dead loved ones as it would seem sort of cruel to drain Aunt Bebe’s and replace it with embalming fluid before putting her in a box and burying it in the ground while she’s still kicking and screaming. There’s a gay country-western bar (yes you read that right) in Atlanta called Ho-downs. Their slogan is “You can never keep a good Ho Down”. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/9 "2004-05-14T02:51:43Z")
> [@](#): > > Culver City Meats: “You Can’t Beat Our Meat.” It’s emblazoned on their delivery trucks. In the 1960’s something similar used to be on a sign over a little hamburger joint in Nashville run by little old ladies. It was called The Campus Grill. I used to think that _surely_ they couldn’t know what it meant. Now that _I’m_ a little old lady myself, I’m not so sure. “Bet You Can’t Beat Our Meat” Someone eventually came along and took the _B_ in “Beat” down. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/10 "2004-05-14T02:54:22Z")
Also, does Campbell’s Funeral Home in Abingdon, VA really have to use the same font as Campbell Soup on their sign? ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/11 "2004-05-14T03:10:01Z")
For a New Orleans waste disposal company (sorry, can’t remember the name): “Our Business Stinks, But It’s Picking Up.” I’ll leave you to decide whether that’s a “Best” or a “Worst”… ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/12 "2004-05-14T03:37:18Z")
Not so much best or worst, but in Macon, GA there is a bizarre little cinder block back alley garage called (I’m not making this up) “The Love of Jesus Body Shop”. A handpainted sign states “Our work is our testimony”. Really really really weird (and uniquely southern). ---
**Author:** ![Kakofonous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9a140/32.png) [@Kakofonous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kakofonous)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/13 "2004-05-14T03:37:59Z")
In the booming town of York, PA: Worst: **Turn the book over!** A law firm - they have a full page color ad on the back of the phone book. It was on the radio with the most horrid inflection, on billboards, even some bad TV ads at one point. Best: Not really a business but a local nut-case who campained for every public office with: **Fight Mafia Lawyer Scum!** ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/14 "2004-05-14T03:49:50Z")
Worst: Bubba’s bar in Lawrence, Kansas **’Cause You Just Never Know** Best: Stroud’s Fried Chicken in Kansas City, MO (?) **We Choke Our Own Chickens** what does “cause you just never know” even mean? ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/15 "2004-05-14T03:51:39Z")
Sometimes in Jeddah, I pass by a meat shop called ‘Western Butchery.’ ---
**Author:** ![angelicate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@angelicate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelicate)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/16 "2004-05-14T04:08:50Z")
There’s a car shop in my hometown that has a sign in front that says “Take a leak here!” I think they also had “The best place in town to take a leak!” but that could be something that I saw elsewhere and am remembering it as being theirs because of the other sign. There’s also a burger stand with a big “LARGE GREASY BURGERS HERE!” sign. I guess that’s appetizing. ---
**Author:** ![IUchem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/aca169/32.png) [@IUchem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IUchem)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/17 "2004-05-14T04:13:48Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > I’ve never understood _With a name like Smuckers, it had to be good!_. No it doesn’t- it could suck AND have an ugly name. > > A funeral home in Alabama had the slogan “We treat your loved ones like they were ours”. I’m hoping they’re just referring to their dead loved ones as it would seem sort of cruel to drain Aunt Bebe’s and replace it with embalming fluid before putting her in a box and burying it in the ground while she’s still kicking and screaming. > > There’s a gay country-western bar (yes you read that right) in Atlanta called Ho-downs. Their slogan is “You can never keep a good Ho Down”. 2 of my gradparents had services in Winemac, Indiana, by a funeral home with match books stating: “Ask those we have served!” -IUchem ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/18 "2004-05-14T04:17:10Z")
I used to pass a business that specialized in 30 minute oil changes, and it was situated behind another business. Not so much a slogan, but there was a roadside sign which read “Quick lube in the rear”. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/19 "2004-05-14T05:40:21Z")
There’s a rubbish removal company here who have the slogan: “Satisfaction guaranteed or double your rubbish back”. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2004, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/20 "2004-05-14T05:45:31Z")
There’s a Curl Up & Dye beauty salon in town here. I’ve always wanted to open up a garage and call it **Head Jobs, Rim Jobs And More**. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033.md?page=2)