# Best and Worst Local Business Slogans **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 13, 2004, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033 "2004-05-13T23:54:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/41 "2004-05-16T05:01:42Z")
It was more like 15 years ago, **biqu** – reason I know, I was living near VA (in Maryland), and dating a woman whose divorce was being finalized. She had researched the laws, and claimed that Virginia had laws on the books that would have made us criminals if we’d stopped for the night – we thought about printing up bumper stickers correcting the slogan: _Virginia is for **some** lovers_. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/42 "2004-05-17T01:13:11Z")
There’s a BBQ place here in Topeka called Boss Hawg’s. I love their slogan. “Horrifying vegetarians since 1995!” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/43 "2004-05-17T01:18:12Z")
There’s a demolition company in Baltimore whose truck are emblazoned with the motto, “ **We Destroy Everything We Touch**.” Must have laughed for five minutes when I saw that. ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/44 "2004-05-17T01:29:34Z")
There’s a Native territory in southern Ontario inhabited by the Wahta people. A store was recently built. Now, when you drive through the reservation the sign gleams like a beacon in the night - **What A Convenience !** It thrills me every time. Wahta great sign ! ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/45 "2004-05-17T02:36:35Z")
There is car repair shop that advertises fairly regularly on the radio in the Boston area. Their motto is “We will brake, shock, and exhaust you”. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/46 "2004-05-17T15:37:00Z")
There’s a fence company in Raleigh, Seegar’s, with the motto: “Dependable Erections since 19XX.” Too bad for Pfizer. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/47 "2004-05-17T16:04:30Z")
Worst - On all the vans of a local ‘Custom Drywall Company’ is this one: “J.R.'s Custom Drywall - We’ll Rock Your World”. Oh, hahahaha (not)…I get it. You’ll rock my world…with Sheetrock. Oh, you’re killing me. LAME! ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/48 "2004-05-17T16:11:14Z")
“A Dry Crack is a Happy Crack” is on a lot of our public buses in St. Louis. I think they’re advertising that they’ll fix cracks in your house’s foundation, but the first time I read that, I lost it. ---
**Author:** ![FX45\_4Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4bbf92/32.png) [@FX45\_4Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FX45_4Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/49 "2004-05-17T16:50:43Z")
Sofa King… Our prices are _ **Sofa King** _ low! 😃 (I win! give me the prize!) ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/50 "2004-05-17T16:52:39Z")
A sewage company in a nearby town has “USED FOOD HAULER” emblazoned on the bug shields of their trucks. I like it. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/51 "2004-05-17T17:05:22Z")
Well, not really a slogan, but… There’s a local lawyer who advertises on the radio. The first line of the spiel says, “When you’re looking for an attorney, you want someone who will work on your case for you.” Well no shit. ---
**Author:** ![jebert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ec9cab/32.png) [@jebert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jebert)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/52 "2004-05-17T18:16:24Z")
From the Jack Schmitt car dealership in Illinois: If you don’t know where to get the best deal on a new Chevy, then you don’t know Jack Schmitt. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/53 "2004-05-17T23:56:08Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > It’s preety much impossible to Google an actual image, but I kid you not that Norfol England hosts a firm by the name: _ **George Bush and Sons: Wholesale Butchers** _ [Wanna bet?](http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blbushandson.htm)😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/54 "2004-05-18T01:24:22Z")
I had a coworker that had a bumper sticker on the back of his car advertising a muffler shop. Dave’s? Bob’s? Anyway it read: Dave’s Mufflers No muff to tough We dive till 5 ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/55 "2004-05-19T08:24:12Z")
Porky’s BBQ runs an ad on TV here in southern Oregon: Hand rubbed meat can’t be beat. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/56 "2004-05-19T19:03:35Z")
There was a BBQ joint here called Southern Yankee. Their motto was “Eat here, or we’ll both starve.” The business went belly-up, and it’s now called Baby Bear’s. Three doors down the street, Fox Radiator Service has, since 1967, been “The best place in town to take a leak.” Albea Plumbing sponsors a bowling team. The shirts say, on the back, “Your sh\_t is our bread and butter.” ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/57 "2004-05-19T19:26:14Z")
A couple of times during my commute I’ve seen a delivery truck for a coffin manufacturer. Emblazoned in large letters on the back of the truck is “Drive carefully - we’ll wait!”. In downtown Atlanta there used to be (may still be, for all I know) a bakery called “God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and Our Bakery”. Absolutely the best cakes and cookies in town. The only problem was that you never knew in advance when they would be open or what they would have. The owners said “We open when God tells us to, we close when God tells us to, and we bake what God tells us to.” I wonder if my boss would go for that? ---
**Author:** ![modro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@modro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/modro)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033/58 "2004-05-19T22:37:26Z")
I just saw an amusing one for the local racetrack. For BeaveRun Motorsports complex… “You haven’t raced until you’ve lapped the Beaver.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-local-business-slogans/245033.md?page=2)