# Best and worst names in sports **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [April 18, 2011, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867 "2011-04-18T18:43:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/61 "2011-04-20T00:02:09Z")
> [@bmoak](#): > > The Sabres had a rugged defender back in the 70s named Larry Playfair. He often didn’t, as witnessed by his high penalty minute totals. Larry Playfair formed a defensive pair with Lindy Ruff. 😉 A couple of years ago, the Yankees rotation included Johnson, Wang, and … Small. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/62 "2011-04-20T00:14:20Z")
I guess somebody should mention Marion Butts. ---
**Author:** ![Moonchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Moonchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonchild)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/63 "2011-04-20T00:26:42Z")
> [@Lord\_Mondegreen](#): > > Usain Bolt seems like a good name for a sprinter. This is whom I came cast my write-in ballot for. On the down side, Dallas Mavericks center **Uwe Blab** (pronounced Uvay Blopp). ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/64 "2011-04-20T00:29:01Z")
For just plain unattractive names, baseball brothers Dane and Garth Iorg (pronounced "“Orj”). Those are sci-fi movie monster names. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/65 "2011-04-20T02:33:43Z")
> [@Moonchild](#): > > On the down side, Dallas Mavericks center **Uwe Blab** (pronounced Uvay Blopp). And I never felt envious of former hockey player Uwe Krupp. ---
**Author:** ![Obeseus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbce88/32.png) [@Obeseus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obeseus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/66 "2011-04-20T03:25:14Z")
1970s baseball pitcher Dick Pole. ---
**Author:** ![Cugel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cugel/32/1199_2.png) [@Cugel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cugel)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/67 "2011-04-20T13:13:35Z")
Adrian Dullard and son Anthony Dullard in the VFL. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/68 "2011-04-20T18:14:51Z")
Here’s one to watch next season: Whitney Mercilus, defensive end for the Fighting Illini. (Pronounced as in “Ming the Merciless”) ---
**Author:** ![lisiate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@lisiate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisiate)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/69 "2011-04-20T23:33:13Z")
Indian Cricketer [Napoleon Einstein](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon_Einstein) has got to be a contender. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/70 "2011-04-20T23:47:49Z")
Indy car racer Will Power. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/71 "2011-04-20T23:55:58Z")
I still go with: Miroslav Satan (as mentioned earlier) Nick Swisher (sounds like he strikes out all the time) Kosuke **Fukudome** is clearly, clearly, clearly the all time winner! ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/72 "2011-04-21T18:14:40Z")
This is cheating a bit since the guy technically isn’t an athlete, but a man by the name of **Richard Lapchick** just released his annual report related to blacks in baseball. The last name by itself is sort of unfortunate if the guy has any daughters, but “Dick Lapchick” stands on its own. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/73 "2011-04-22T14:22:47Z")
> [@installLSC](#): > > A pitcher named [Bob Walk](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Walk) doesn’t exactly have an ideal name. There was also [Eric Plunk](http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/p/plunker01.shtml), who never did lead the league in the HBP category. I saw [Dan Uggla](http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/u/ugglada01.shtml) in a Minor League game before he made it to the show. My first thought was, “that’s just unfortunate.” His middle name, though, is “Cooley,” so that helps. [Evan Longoria](http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/l/longoev01.shtml) is not a bad name in its own right, but he’s just one letter away from being a Desperate Housewife. A little different, but [Carlos May](http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/m/mayca01.shtml) wore number 17 for the White Sox, and was born on May 17th. He got to wear his birthday on his back! ---
**Author:** ![bahia\_hombre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@bahia\_hombre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bahia_hombre)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/74 "2011-04-23T03:04:35Z")
> [@colonial](#): > > NFL Cahmpionship-winning quarterbacks oftern have names > which strike me as really, really cool: > > **Sid Luckman** > **Sammy Baugh** > **Norm** (“The Dutchman”) **Van Brocklin** (only man to QB two different NFL Champs) > **Bobby Layne** > **Tobin Rote** > **John Unitas** (IMO the coolest name of all time. I think it’s Lithuanian) > **Bart Starr** (2nd coolest) > **Joe Namath** > **Len Dawson** > **Ken** (“Snake”) **Stabler** > **Joe Montana** (3rd coolest) > **Peyton Manning** > **Eli Manning** > > On the other hand these Champion QBs have uncool names: > > **Otto Graham** (“Otto?” A great player, Graham flopped as a coach. His players ridiculed him by calling him “Toot”, for his 1st name spelled inside out) > **Joe Theismann** (pronounced “ThEEsman” until he got to college where they changed it to rime with the name of the trophy) > **Bon Griese** (as most of us know pronounced “greasy”. He was a great player, but his name is by far the least cool of all champion QBs) > **Terry Bradshaw** > **Steve Young** (might have been saved from this uncool list if he had exchanged first names with his direct ancestor Brigham) > **Kurt Warner** > **Tom Brady** (I was glad Eli Manning kicked his butt, for their names alone) You forgot to include Ben Roethlisberger in the really, really cool names list 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/75 "2011-04-23T03:49:26Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > This is cheating a bit since the guy technically isn’t an athlete, but a man by the name of **Richard Lapchick** just released his annual report related to blacks in baseball. The last name by itself is sort of unfortunate if the guy has any daughters, but “Dick Lapchick” stands on its own. He goes by Rich – at least he did back when he was a professor at the college I attended. His father, Joe, was the head basketball coach at St. John’s for years. The family name is Czech, and thus would have originally been “Lapčík”. I guess whoever Americanized the spelling didn’t anticipate how unfortunate it would look a century or so down the road. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/76 "2011-04-23T14:11:19Z")
The NBA Atlanta Hawks’ Zaza Pachulia. Filling out the list of baseball pitchers: Rollie Fingers and Bill Hands. And there was a time when the Pittsburgh staff included Bob Veale, Bob Moose, and John Lamb. ---
**Author:** ![paperbackwriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@paperbackwriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paperbackwriter)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/77 "2011-04-23T20:24:52Z")
[Cleveland Gary](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleveland_Gary) once lead the NFL in rushing touchdowns while playing for the (then-)Los Angeles Rams, who [began in Cleveland.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles_Rams#Cleveland_Rams_.281936.E2.80.931945.29) I remember a _Sports Illustrated_ story when he was still in college. The sports information director at the school wanted to nickname him “Buffalo” just so he’d have three Rust Belt cities in his name. Sadly, it never caught on. ---
**Author:** ![Tazmanian\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cc9497/32.png) [@Tazmanian\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazmanian_Devil)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2011, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/78 "2011-04-25T12:15:56Z")
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin\_Gay](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Gay) Poor guy. Having the same name as a muscle and joint pain reliever… ---
**Author:** ![colonial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/34f0e0/32.png) [@colonial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colonial)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2011, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/79 "2011-04-25T12:33:16Z")
The state of Pennsylvania produced what might have been both the most fitting and the most ridiculous names in the history of North American football: Steve SMEAR (LB/DL Penn State & Montreal Alouettes) Bernie ZBRZEZNJ, yes, that’s Z-B-R-Z-E-Z-N-J (QB Penn, pronounced “Zabrenzie”) Smear was all-CFL and played for two Grey Cup champs. Ivy Leager Zbrzeznj was not pro material, and went to law school. ---
**Author:** ![fiddlesticks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddlesticks/32/18129_2.png) [@fiddlesticks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fiddlesticks)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2011, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/80 "2011-04-25T15:35:24Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > Kosuke **Fukudome** is clearly, clearly, clearly the all time winner! It’s a shame Harry Caray never got to announce him. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867.md?page=5)