# Best and worst names in sports **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [April 18, 2011, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867 "2011-04-18T18:43:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2011, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/81 "2011-04-25T15:38:29Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > Kosuke **Fukudome** is clearly, clearly, clearly the all time winner! Ahead of [**Argel Fucks**](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arg%C3%A9lico_Fucks)? ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/82 "2011-06-10T03:25:39Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > My first thought was Dick Trickle. Why the heck wouldn’t he call himself Rich? The only reason anyone remembers him is because his name was Dick Trickle. That, and the fact that the ESPN Sportscenter juveniles, who giggled at the name like it was the funniest poop joke they heard in the 8th grade, always reported his finishing spot (kind of like what they do with Tiger Woods today in golf). As far as a cool, ironic name, I’ll go with Jaromir Jagr… who’s first name Jaromir is an anagram for Mario Jr, (for Lemieux), who he got to play with during the early 90’s and two Cup runs. Pittsburgh beat that one into the ground at the time. Another Penguin name from long ago (ok, the 70’s) was Syl Apps (which sounds like Slaps with a slight stutter). ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/83 "2011-06-10T06:40:29Z")
More fun hockey player names: Tuomo Ruutu is fun simply for the sheer concentration of "U"s in the name. Jason Chimera is pretty neat, though he doesn’t pronounce it like the mythological beast. I know a family with the last name Dragon…the kid never made it to pro hockey, but he jokes about how he wishes to have played on a line with Satan and Chimera. 🙂 And Wisniewski (James) is just fun to say. Wisniewski, wisniewski, wisniewski! ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/84 "2011-06-10T12:36:19Z")
No love for baseball player Coco Crisp? > [@gonzomax](#): > > There was a wide receiver named Fair Hooker. Too bad he didn’t grow up to play Rugby, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/85 "2011-06-10T13:20:50Z")
I always thought [Rollie Fingers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rollie_Fingers) was a cool name for a baseball pitcher ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/86 "2011-06-10T14:06:40Z")
Notre Dame used to have a linebacker named Michael Stonebreaker. ---
**Author:** ![Outpits](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4bbf92/32.png) [@Outpits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Outpits)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/87 "2011-06-10T17:37:13Z")
I always thought the linebacker [Harry Colon](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Colon)had a most unfortunate name. ---
**Author:** ![TheBoltEater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@TheBoltEater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheBoltEater)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/88 "2011-06-10T18:18:22Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > The Texas Longhorns had a very good defensive back (he later played for the Chargers) named _ **Quentin Jammer**._ This just reads strangely to me. You _do_ know that Jammer has been the #1 starting CB for the Chargers since the day he was drafted a decade ago, right? It’s sort of like saying, “The Wolverines had a very good quarterback (he later played for the Patriots) named _ **Tom Brady** _”. Anyway, I’ve always been a fan of NFL brothers Algernon and Carlester Crumpler. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/89 "2011-06-10T19:30:45Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > What about a pitcher named [Grant Balfour](http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/b/balfogr01.shtml)? Yes, and not just a pitcher - a _relief_ pitcher. I’ve always said that he should change his name to Homer Offamee. That would stop the jokes. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/90 "2011-06-10T20:12:03Z")
And let’s not forget [Zenon Andrusyshyn](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zenon_Andrusyshyn), which clearly should be the name of an alien overlord. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/91 "2011-06-10T20:30:07Z")
Former french soccer players Zinedine Zidane and Thierry Henry have names that just roll of your tongue, i love saying them both. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2011, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/92 "2011-06-10T23:37:03Z")
Best nickname: Former 49ers lineback Frank Nunley, “The Fudge Hammer”. ---
**Author:** ![Wash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9dc877/32.png) [@Wash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wash)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/93 "2011-06-11T02:52:45Z")
It’s a shame British TV didn’t have easy access to Bundesliga games during the mid 90’s. I’d have loved to hear the commentary during FC Kaiserslautern games when Uwe Fuchs passed to Stefan Kuntz. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/94 "2011-06-11T05:52:23Z")
> [@Quercus](#): > > No love for baseball player Coco Crisp? Ahem… > [@Asimovian in the OP](#): > > So bring me your Dick Trickles, your Milton Bradleys, your **Coco Crisps** , and all the rest! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![installLSC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/54ee81/32.png) [@installLSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/installLSC)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/95 "2011-06-13T01:51:25Z")
I was listening to Tigers/Mariners game this weekend where [Charlie Furbush](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Furbush) pitched. Shockingly (or not) Furbush is [clean shaven.](http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/Ek5UzTYMRfq/Detroit+Tigers+Photo+Day/BcqNX4LInQs/Charlie+Furbush) ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/96 "2011-06-13T02:46:28Z")
> [@Tanbarkie](#): > > Ladies and gentlemen, I give you [the definitive work on the subject,](http://www.sbnation.com/mlb/2011/1/27/1944077/best-baseball-player-names-hall-of-fame) featuring such luminaries as James Baby, Wonderful Terrific Monds III, and Ugly Dickshot. I just saw this. And now I’m laughing hysterically. I think it was “Cannonball Titcomb” that really pushed me over the edge. ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/97 "2011-06-13T03:45:43Z")
> [@Obeseus](#): > > 1970s baseball pitcher Dick Pole. Dick played with the Portland Beavers for a spell,also has a nephew named Hank Pole that played with the Expos organization. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/98 "2011-06-14T05:26:12Z")
Tongan Rugby League player [Fuifui Moimoi](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuifui_Moimoi) has I think the most euphonious name in sport. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/99 "2011-06-14T15:07:22Z")
I somehow failed to mention my favorite current pitcher by name, [Antonio Bastardo](http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/8503) of the Phillies. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867/100 "2011-06-14T15:21:42Z")
And let’s not forget basketball player Bernie Yurin; like the man said: _“Yurin dribbles! Yurin shoots! Yurin’s all over the court!”_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-names-in-sports/578867.md?page=6)