# Best and worst rhymes in songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2004, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116 "2004-08-03T08:14:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/1 "2004-08-03T08:14:59Z")
I just finished doing _Oliver_ and I’m now doing _Li’l Abner_ and some rhymes got my attention. From “Reviewing the Situation” (_Oliver_) And wave at all the **duchesses** with friendliness as **much as is** befitting of my new estate, “Good morrow to you Magistrate!” From “It’s a Typical Day” (_Li’l Abner_) His heart is the tenderes’ But neuter-gender 's Far 's young gals is concerned. It’s a perfect rhyme in the hillbilly accent of the show. In my opinion, these makes a good rhyme: [ul] [li]Not obvious, like the cliched “unending love” with “heaven above”[/li][li]An actual rhyme. N and M, for example, are not the same letter. “Love” and “move” don’t rhyme, though they may have a few centuries ago.[/li][li]Before the end of the line, for example, “That we take good care of it, / that we get our share of it.” (“It’s a Fine Life,” _Oliver_)[/li][/ul] What else makes a rhyme good or bad, and what are your favorite or least favorite rhymes in songs? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/2 "2004-08-03T08:18:04Z")
Been done to death: Never/forever. Fire/desire. These should never be used again by any songwriter, much less one with self-respect. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/3 "2004-08-03T12:34:30Z")
“Love/thinking of” is another overused rhyme. Great rhymes: Tom Lehrer: “When you attend a funeral It is sad to think that sooner’ll” (“We Will All Go Together When We Go”) “An awful debility, A lessened utility, A loss of mobility Is a strong possibility. In all probability I’ll lose my virility And you your fertility And desirability, And this liability Of total sterility Will lead to hostility And a sense of futility, So let’s act with agility While we still have facility, For we’ll soon reach senility And lose the ability.” (When You Are Old and Gray) Cole Porter:'s "Just declaim a few lines from Othella And they’ll think you’re a hell of a fella… If she says your behavior is heinous Kick her right in the Coriolanus" (Brush Up Your Shakespeare) “Or bring a jeroboam on And write a drunken poem on Astrology, mythology, Geology, philology, Pathology, psychology, Electro-physiology, Spermology, phrenology, I owe you an apology But let’s not talk about love.” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/4 "2004-08-03T12:42:23Z")
My choice for current worst rhyme is the Counting Crows redo of “Big Yellow Taxi”. The original lines are: Take all the trees Put 'em in a tree museum Make all the people pay a dollar and a half Just to see 'em. It’s currently renderecd as: Make all the People pay a dollar and a half Just to see _them_. “see 'em” rhymes with “museum”. “See them” _doesn’t_. !!! My favorite Tom Lehrer rhyme is still his rhyming of “duck-billed platypus” with “Oedipus” in “Oedipus Rex”. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/5 "2004-08-03T12:44:39Z")
I don’t have any specific examples, but every time I hear the words _‘I called you on the phone’_ in a song, little bits of my teeth wear away, for I _know_ that the line will be followed by: _‘To see if you were home’ ‘But now I’m all alone’ ‘I’m living on my own’_ Or variants thereof. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/6 "2004-08-03T12:46:29Z")
Way overused: Magic/tragic and ramblin’/gamblin’ ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/7 "2004-08-03T12:52:01Z")
One of the classic bad rhymes: _Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas You know he knows just exactly what the facts is He’s not gonna let those two escape justice He makes his living off of the people’s taxes._ ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/8 "2004-08-03T12:59:26Z")
Keeping the musical theatre world in mind: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat: All these things you saw in your pyjamas Are a long-range forecast for your farmers … and… Greatest man since Noah Only goes to shoah Wonder what Tim Rice was smoking the day he wrote those… 😃 I think they are some of the most irritating rhymes ever. Honest. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/9 "2004-08-03T13:04:53Z")
Then I can hum a fugue of which I’ve heard the music’s din afore, And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense _Pinafore_ ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/10 "2004-08-03T13:06:50Z")
> [@Peter Morris](#): > > Then I can hum a fugue of which I’ve heard the music’s din afore, > And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense _Pinafore_ Okay, so that’s not really G&S’ brightest moment, but you have to admit the rhyming in the following excerpt makes up for it! 😃 To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock, In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock, Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock, From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block! To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock, In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock, Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock, From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block! A dull, dark dock, A life-long lock, A short, sharp shock, A big black block! To sit in solemn silence In a pestilential prison, And awaiting the sensation From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/11 "2004-08-03T13:08:32Z")
> [@Elenfair](#): > > Keeping the musical theatre world in mind: > > Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat: > > All these things you saw in your pyjamas > Are a long-range forecast for your farmers > … and… > > Greatest man since Noah > Only goes to shoah > Wonder what Tim Rice was smoking the day he wrote those… 😃 I think they are some of the most irritating rhymes ever. Honest. I agree on the second one, but I think the pyjamas/farmers one works quite well. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/12 "2004-08-03T13:12:42Z")
Both **Sublight** and **Elenfair** both nabbed ones I was thinking of. The juvenile lyrics of _Joseph etc etc_ make me cringe most of the time. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/13 "2004-08-03T13:18:15Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > My favorite Tom Lehrer rhyme is still his rhyming of “duck-billed platypus” with “Oedipus” in “Oedipus Rex”. My favorite Tom Lerher rhyme: “He was the village **idiot** , and though it was a **pity it** was so…” Sheer brilliance. From the same song: “The druggist on the **corner he** was never mean or **ornery** , he was swell…” ---
**Author:** ![Spoonbender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spoonbender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoonbender)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/14 "2004-08-03T13:22:28Z")
This is from a song by Eve 6 that I kept hearing on the radio, years ago: \*Suckin’ on my brain, you’re the teacher, I’m the student Turning things around, your story’s not congruent \* I could just picture the songwriter going to a rhyming dictionary and trying to find something that rhymes with “student,” not finding a way to fit “prudent” into the next line, and finally settling on “congruent,” which doesn’t really rhyme, but whatever. That line always makes me think of triangles. ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/15 "2004-08-03T13:22:33Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > Both **Sublight** and **Elenfair** both nabbed ones I was thinking of. The juvenile lyrics of _Joseph etc etc_ make me cringe most of the time. A month and a half’s run, baby. A month and a half. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/16 "2004-08-03T13:24:37Z")
Gilbert and Sullivan aren’t exactly good examples, since they’re deliberately intended to be comical rhymes. Like: When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery, You’ll say a better major-general has never sat agee That’s qualitatively different, it seems to me, than a crummy rhyme that’s not supposed to be funny. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/17 "2004-08-03T13:53:25Z")
> [@Elenfair](#): > > A month and a half’s run, baby. A month and a half. > > :eek: Perhaps that’s the difference; we only put it on for three nights (although there were a few months of rehearsals). ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Clanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/18 "2004-08-03T13:53:43Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > My favorite Tom Lerher rhyme: > “He was the village **idiot** , and though it was a **pity it** was so…” I couldn’t possible have a single _favorite_ Tom Lehrer rhyme, however: When they see us coming the birdies all **try’n’hide** But they still go for peanuts When coated in **cynaide** He was quite chuffed with this, but found that P.G.Wodehouse had actually come up with it before he did. > [@RealityChuck](#): > > “When you attend a funeral > It is sad to think that sooner’ll” (“We Will All Go Together When We Go”) Which of course goes on: And you may think it **tragic** Not to mention other **adject** -tives And another from the same song: Go directly to your respective Valhallas Go directly - do not pass go - do not collect two hundred. . . Dollars Ouch! 🙂 BTW the rhyming of (say) love with move is called a ‘sight rhyme’ and doesn’t mean that the words ever actually rhymed in the normal way. IIRC Hamlet uses one in a poem/note to Ophelia. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/19 "2004-08-03T14:36:17Z")
I nominate Pete Seeger’s version of “Gimme that Old TIme Religion” Let us pray like the Egyptians Build pyramids to put our crypts in Fill subways with inscriptions It’s good enough for me Let us pray to Zarathrusta Pray just like we use ta I’m a Zarathrusta booster\* It’s good enough for me - the beautiful thing about this rhyme is that is Boston, this becomes ‘boostah’, but still doesn’t rhyme because you’d pronounce the other word as ‘Zarathruster’. I suppose the same issue applies to this verse: Let us pray to dear old Buddah Because there is no one cuter He comes in plaster, wood and pewter It’s good enough for me ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/20 "2004-08-03T14:41:07Z")
Probably my most hated rhyme, courtesy of The Police: Our so-called leaders speak With words they try to **jail ya** They subjugate the meek But it’s the rhetoric of **failure** :shudder: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116.md?page=2)