# Best and worst rhymes in songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2004, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116 "2004-08-03T08:14:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/41 "2004-08-03T21:11:43Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > Sting has a LOT of explaining to do about some of the police lyrics. The Police were the first thing I thought of when I saw the thread title, but unfortunately I can’t think of any others right now. The “jail ya” bit is at the top of the list, although I remember something about “Scylla and Carybdis” that got a double-whammy because it was a lame rhyme and awfully pretentious at the same time. From “Wrapped Around Your Finger”: You consider me the young apprentice Caught between the scylla and charibdes Which is strange, because not only do those words not rhyme, he doesn’t even sing “charibdes” so that it sounds **anything** like “apprentice,” but rather more like “car-bode-is.” > [@SolGrundy](#): > > For now, my vote is for Freedom Williams of the C+C Music Factory: > > _You’re just a girl and I’m your squirrel_ > _Tryin’ to get the nut to move your butt_ Actually, the lyric (from “Gonna Make You Sweat”) is: Guys grab a girl, don’t wait, make the twirl It’s your world and I’m just a squirrel Tryin’ to get a nut to move your butt to the dance floor Not that it’s fantastic that way, but it’s improved over what you’d thought, IMO. I always heard it as “…Tryin’ to get a nut, **so** move your butt to the dance floor…”, like he’s got to work hard to get what he wants, so it’s time to hit the dance floor and find somebody. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/42 "2004-08-03T22:34:46Z")
> [@Kizarvexius](#): > > As far as really BAD rhymes, I don’t think there’s much of anything worse than Neil Diamond’s > Shudders. God I hope not…and let’s not forget: “I am,” I said To no one there An no one heard at all Not even the chair The true horror being, he apparetly couldn’t think of a better rhyme for…“there”. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/43 "2004-08-03T22:37:05Z")
In the tradition of Lehrer, I’ve always thought the following rhyme by the ska/punk band Pain in “Song of the Seven-Inch Cowboy” (odd song…done 100% in the Gene Autry singing cowboy style) is priceless: _Well, my pop told me it don’t matter **where a fella goes** , He can sail through icy straits or misty **archipelagoes** …_ ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/44 "2004-08-03T22:54:02Z")
Please see Weird Al’s [The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota](http://www.com-www.com/weirdal/thebiggestballoftwineinminnesota.html). Sample lyric: > [@](#): > > I said, “Kids, if you could go anywhere in this great big world, now > Where’d you like to go ta” > They said, “Dad, we wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota” > They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota As for whether it’s the best or worst rhyme … you decide. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/45 "2004-08-04T00:15:50Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > To work, a rhyme has to be of words that are appropriate for the situation. Putting a word that doesn’t fit just because it rhymes is obvious. Eminem is guilty of this A LOT. The most glaring and embarassingly bad example has got to be: > [@](#): > > Jesus how can be this easy, > How can one Chandra be so Levy Yea, he’s a good _rhymer_, but he has no problem going off-topic or saying something that just flat out doesn’t make any sense to make a rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/46 "2004-08-04T00:17:39Z")
That was supposed to say: Jesus, how can _shit_ be this easy ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/47 "2004-08-04T00:34:34Z")
> [@Kizarvexius](#): > > As far as really BAD rhymes, I don’t think there’s much of anything worse than Neil Diamond’s > > Songs she sang to me > Songs she brang to me > > Shudders. I’ll see you Neil Diamond, and raise you by whatisface’s “Honey”: _“… yadda, yadda, yadda, but what the **heck** , yadda, yadda, yadda, she hugged my **neck** …”_ Gah. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/48 "2004-08-04T01:05:41Z")
In the category of “is it bad or is it good?” I present for you **All Saints** ’ _Never Ever_, which alters the chorus between the UK and American pronunciation of the letter Z: > [@](#): > > Flexing vocabulary runs right through me, > The alphabet runs right from A to Zee… > … > Sometimes vocabulary runs through my head > The alphabet runs right from A to Zed… Personally I think it’s quite clever, though others think it’s a compromise. ---
**Author:** ![GoingToCalifornia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de0a6/32.png) [@GoingToCalifornia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GoingToCalifornia)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/49 "2004-08-04T01:36:17Z")
[ How can we forget the imortal Vanilla Ice? > [@](#): > > To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal > Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/50 "2004-08-04T01:48:30Z")
From Boy Meets Girl’s “Waiting for a Star to Fall”: “I want to reach out and pull you to me Who says I should let a wild one go free” Not a bad rhyme, but it sounds awkard. It’s as if “go free” is a two-syllable word. ---
**Author:** ![Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba8739/32.png) [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Backwater_Under_Duck)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/51 "2004-08-04T02:02:40Z")
“I don’t want a pickle Just want to ride on my motorsickle And I don’t want a tickle 'Cause I’d rather ride on my motorsickle And I don’t want to die Just want to ride on my motorcy… … … … … … … … … … … … cle.” - _Arlo Guthrie_ Sometimes you just gotta _make_ them rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/52 "2004-08-04T02:05:40Z")
I can’t resist flinging out there some of my favorite Lehrer song, “Smut”… I’ve never quibbled If it was ribald I would devour Where others merely nibbled Like the judge remarked the day that he acquitted my Aunt Hortense To be smut it must be ut-terly without redeeming social importance ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/53 "2004-08-04T02:11:20Z")
Come on, people. All these posts and only two mentions of Sondheim? He can out-Gilbert Gilbert (see the already-mentioned “Please Hello” from _Pacific Overtures_), out-Lehrer Lehrer (see “Bobby and Jackie and Jack” from _Merrily We Roll Along_) and out-Porter Porter (see “Together Wherever We Go” from _Gypsy_.) (In fact Sondheim tells the story of playing the song for a despondent Cole Porter. The sharp-minded Porter was mentally keeping pace with the lyrics until the rhyme “…Wherever I go, I know she goes. Amigos! Together…” Even Porter couldn’t see the rhyme “Amigos” coming, and smiled broadly). The extra genius of Sondheim is not the rhymes he makes, but the ones he _doesn’t_. For example in Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett describes here dreadful meat pies as follows: …Is that just revolting? All greasy and gritty. It looks like it’s molting and taste like… Well _pity_ A woman alone… If you’re mentally one step ahead of the lyric – and SS makes it purposely easy for you to be here – your mind anticipates the third line to be “… well shitty!” But he shifts gears at the last second to trip you up, all the while keeping in perfect context of the song. You end up laughing to yourself for falling in the trap. Another, even better example is in _A little Night Music_. The sexually frustrated young divinty student Henrik is loathing himself while playing the cello: Henrik… Who is Henrik? Oh, that lawyer’s son, the one who mumbles. Short and boring, Yes, he’s hardly worth ignoring, And who cares if he’s all dammed– I beg your pardon– Up inside? The genius is in the phrase “all dammed.” When you _hear_ it it sounds like “all damned.” You think that the prudish young man has just gotten so disgusted with himself he swore. But he hasn’t! He’s “all dammed… up inside.” Again SS has tricked you for trying to get ahead of him. ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/54 "2004-08-04T02:16:40Z")
“It’s a porn utopia, a cornucopia of warm fallopia. My dandy voice makes the most anti-choice grannies panties moist.” “To boldly rap into the outer reaches. This doubter teaches defining God as aligning a divining rod with a hot chick’s reclining bod. 'Cause life is fickle. Hellish. Anemic. Sickle cellish. Dude, you’ll get chopped up like pickle relish. And when we perish, we’re–what’s the term, dude? Worm food.” This bizarro Jersey suburban braggadocio courtesy MC Paul Barman. Who’s a genius or somethin’. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/55 "2004-08-04T02:19:22Z")
Anyone who rhymes “eyes” and “realize” should be kicked hard in the behind. ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/56 "2004-08-04T02:33:23Z")
> [@stuyguy](#): > > … and out-Porter Porter (see “Together Wherever We Go” from _Gypsy_.) (In fact Sondheim tells the story of playing the song for a despondent Cole Porter. The sharp-minded Porter was mentally keeping pace with the lyrics until the rhyme “…Wherever I go, I know she goes. Amigos! Together…” Even Porter couldn’t see the rhyme “Amigos” coming, and smiled broadly). Oops. Remembered the wrong lyric. The right one goes: “… No fists, no fights, no feuds and no egos. Amigos! Together…” Sorry 'bout that. ---
**Author:** ![Necro\_Romancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/50afbb/32.png) [@Necro\_Romancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necro_Romancer)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/57 "2004-08-04T03:15:28Z")
> [@Da Band - What We Gonna Do](#): > > All night stuntin doin it up. > A bunch of best style bitches with big ass butts. Pay attention…this is talent. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/58 "2004-08-04T04:35:49Z")
How could we discuss pretentious and tortured rhymes from the Police without including this gem: _He starts to shake and cough… Just like the Old man in That book by Nabokov…_ Which book by Nabokov? The one with the old guy and the young chick?? Ooo deep! Not only does it rhyme, but it’s _applicable_! Shut up, Sting. My personal favorite rhyme in song is from Warren Zevon– _She really worked me over good. She was a credit to her gender. She put me through some changes, Lord. Sort of like a Waring Blendor[sup]TM[/sup]_. Hee hee hee. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/59 "2004-08-04T05:12:48Z")
IMO, the best rhymes are those that are hidden, either in phrasing or by changing the rhythm. The best example I can think of is in _What’s The Use Of Wondrin’_, from Rodgers & Hammerstein’s _Carousel_: And when he wants your kisses, you will give them to the lad, And anywhere he leads you will walk. And anytime he needs you, you’ll go running there like mad. He’s your fella, and you love him, And all the rest is talk. The rhyme of walk and talk looks obvious and cliched in print, but after the third line, the song goes from 4/4 to free time, and the last line is drawn out so that rhythmically the “talk” is not in time with the “walk.” It sounds like an ending that doesn’t rhyme with anything previous in the song. I listened to it several times before I noticed that it did actually rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2004, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/60 "2004-08-04T05:15:54Z")
That should be 6/8, not 4/4. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116.md?page=4)