# Best and worst rhymes in songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2004, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116 "2004-08-03T08:14:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![MisterThyristor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecccb3/32.png) [@MisterThyristor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MisterThyristor)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2004, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/81 "2004-08-05T10:06:59Z")
Two pages and nobody’s mentioned **America’s** “A Horse with No Name” for worst rhymes (not to mention worst lyrics)?? I mean: "There were plants and birds and rocks and things There was sand and hills and rings The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz And the sky with no clouds The heat was hot and the ground was dry But the air was full of sound I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name It felt good to be out of the rain In the desert you can remember your name 'Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain" Things and rings would be clichéd – if it made any sense in this context. Name, rain, name, pain? Please! ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/82 "2004-08-05T17:12:43Z")
I just spent twenty minutes looking up Flanders and Swann lyrics. I’ve always particularly liked their version of Greensleeves. The lyrics are [here](http://www.nyanko.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fas/hat_green.html) but it’s much better when it’s read aloud. I’ve been reading their songs to my cats. They seem to like _The Reluctant Cannibal_ best. ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2004, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/83 "2004-08-05T20:18:06Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > My choice for current worst rhyme is the Counting Crows redo of “Big Yellow Taxi”. The original lines are: > > Take all the trees > Put 'em in a tree museum > Make all the people pay a dollar and a half > Just to see 'em. > > It’s currently renderecd as: > > Make all the People pay a dollar and a half > Just to see _them_. > > “see 'em” rhymes with “museum”. “See them” _doesn’t_. > !!! How about later in the song: > [@Joni Mitchell](#): > > Late last night, I heard the screen door slam. > Big yellow taxi took away my old man. as opposed to > [@Counting Crows](#): > > Listen, late last night, I heard the screen door slam. > Big yellow taxi took my girl away. He rewrote this part because he didn’t want to sing about his “old man”, but he didn’t even _try_ to make it rhyme! Notwithstanding that this particular song doesn’t make a whole lot of sense out of the context of its time, meaning pretty much any remake would be unnecessary, but couldn’t we at least make it rhyme? ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/84 "2004-08-06T06:24:41Z")
Maybe he thought that since “man” and “slam” were an almost-rhyme, it would be better to have a totally-non-rhyme instead. But I doubt it. He probably just used the first thing that came to his head. ---
**Author:** ![jinty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jinty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jinty)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/85 "2004-08-06T12:40:49Z")
How about Squeeze’s [Up the junction](http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/squeeze/129285.html)? Clapham/happen, common/forgotten, lady/may be, basement/engagement, stanley/handy, doctor/stop her, winter/bitter, tenner/better, etc etc. And can I just mention, so well written it brings a tear to my eye just to read the lyrics? “And now she’s two years older / her mother’s with a soldier” “No more nights by the telly / no more nights nappies smelling” Aw heck, pass me a tissue. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2004, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116/86 "2004-08-07T00:07:03Z")
> [@Ichbin Dubist](#): > > “It’s a porn utopia, > a cornucopia > of warm fallopia. > My dandy voice > makes the most anti-choice > grannies panties moist.” > > “To boldly rap into the outer reaches. This doubter teaches defining God as aligning a divining rod with a hot chick’s reclining bod. 'Cause life is fickle. Hellish. Anemic. Sickle cellish. Dude, you’ll get chopped up like pickle relish. And when we perish, we’re–what’s the term, dude? Worm food.” > > This bizarro Jersey suburban braggadocio courtesy MC Paul Barman. Who’s a genius or somethin’. Who is MC Paul Barman? That’s great stuff. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-and-worst-rhymes-in-songs/258116.md?page=4)