That’s OK. The OP’s in the wrong universe.
To mimic the threads from the other side of the spectrum:
Because he’s not Kerry.
Or “Because he served with Honor during the Vietnam War.”
Hm.
Hmmph. Skknmph.
Buh…muh…ah…phhhhhfffft…hah…ahhahahah…AHAHAH HAH HAH AHH!
Oh, jesus, sorry…I just…
pphhhmxxxxxx…BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH! oh fuck
BAH HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAH
oh jesus christ, i’m sorry…hold on…
HEE-HEEEE AH HAH HAAAAA OH HEHEHEHEEEEE AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAH
oh shit oh fuck, I can’t breath, I can’t breath…hold on…