# Best.Band.Name.Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 24, 2005, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844 "2005-04-24T08:51:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/1 "2005-04-24T08:51:20Z")
I was at a birthday party for one of my friends tonight. One of the presents she got was a bobblehead Gollum. On the side of the box was the name of the figurine: “Smeagol HeadKnocker” And I thought Oh my God. That would be the Best Band Name EVER!! I mean, SMEAGOL HEADKNOCKER! ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/2 "2005-04-24T09:40:50Z")
Sorry, but my vote still goes to [The Bambi Molestors](http://www.thebambimolesters.com) (a Croatian surf band). ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/3 "2005-04-24T15:53:04Z")
**Bithlo** is a white-trash redneck suburb that has demolition derbies. **The Bithlo Mullet Revival** is a country-punk band that performs in mullet wigs. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/4 "2005-04-24T16:08:46Z")
Sorry, folks. The ultimate name for any band is **Roosevelt Cabbagestalk and the Hydrocephalic Presbyterians.** [size=1]Since there apparently is (or was) a real person named Roosevelt Cabbagestalk who may be neither hydrocephalic nor Presbyterian, I am prepared pending contact from said Mr. C to change the name to **Elder Cabbagestalk and the Church of the Plum Double Knits.** ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/5 "2005-04-24T16:11:55Z")
Ok. Those are pretty darn good. I still stand by mine, though. 😃 The other (real) band name that I like quite a lot is **Hornets Attack Victor Mature**. 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/6 "2005-04-24T16:35:22Z")
You’re all crazy. The best band name ever is **Impending Futon**. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/7 "2005-04-24T17:40:08Z")
I don’t know…I’m pretty fond of the name (and the band) [**The String Cheese Incident**](http://www.stringcheeseincident.com/). I mean, ya gotta wonder - what exactly \*was \*the string cheese incident to which the name refers? Did penis ensue? ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/8 "2005-04-24T17:45:50Z")
I’m sorry, Edentrap is the best band name ever. I’m just saying. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/9 "2005-04-24T17:47:06Z")
Some of us on the SDMB should start a band, just to call ourselves any one of these names. 🙂 Any volunteers? I’m good on vocals and piano… ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/10 "2005-04-24T18:49:42Z")
Onward Crispin Glover. That’s the winner. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/11 "2005-04-24T18:59:06Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Some of us on the SDMB should start a band, just to call ourselves any one of these names. 🙂 > > Any volunteers? I’m good on vocals and piano… I’ll join. Just by me not singing or performing in any way I can immeasurably improve the quality of the band’s overall output. I know, I know, I’m amazing. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/12 "2005-04-24T19:06:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Onward Crispin Glover. Holy God. I nearly had an anuerism. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/13 "2005-04-24T19:08:07Z")
Ah, I nearly forgot. One that came up in GD a couple years ago was … **Partisan Scandalmeisters** ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/14 "2005-04-24T19:15:47Z")
I think **aural sects** is still the best band name I’ve ever seen. They were from Toronto, in the mid-'80s. Lots of names are cute or funny or WTF, but this one is all kinds of clever. And none of the radio stations would announce their appearances. ---
**Author:** ![vl\_mungo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@vl\_mungo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vl_mungo)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/15 "2005-04-24T19:57:10Z")
Jennifer Jason Lee Harvey Oswald ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/16 "2005-04-24T20:12:26Z")
Did Smeagol HeadKnocker ever tour with Marillion? ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/17 "2005-04-24T20:40:41Z")
> [@FilmGeek](#): > > Onward Crispin Glover. > > That’s the winner. It has my vote. Beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/18 "2005-04-24T21:42:08Z")
We had a local band called **Butt Trumpet**. That was 15 years ago and it still makes me snigger. ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/19 "2005-04-24T21:45:48Z")
In the fine tradition of KMFDM, only way funnier, I give you: **JFKFC**. ---
**Author:** ![jimpatro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9e5f3/32.png) [@jimpatro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimpatro)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2005, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844/20 "2005-04-24T22:06:54Z")
**Whorehound**? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-band-name-ever/300844.md?page=2)