# best boyfriend reaction to: with a girlfriend at a bar, and random drunk guy starts hitting on her? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 16, 2013, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356 "2013-01-16T03:37:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/61 "2013-01-16T18:08:47Z")
Walk up to the girl smiling and interupt whatever they are talking about and say, “Awesome! You found another one we can convert to Scientology. The Great Master Tom Cruise will be so proud of us.” ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/62 "2013-01-16T18:20:31Z")
I can deal with pushy dipshits on my own thanks. If I want help I can and will ask for it. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/63 "2013-01-16T18:27:41Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > I hope you gave her the old heave ho. Sounds like she had some kinds of issues, and was working it out by putting you down just for trying to be helpful. I think the kind of girl who approves of a fight between her boyfriend and a flirting stranger is the one with issues. Grin, nod at the interloper, make small talk even. Your proximity and familiarity with your girl should make the relationship clear. Women aren’t property, and we generally don’t like it when you pee on our legs, stomp around and mark us like an aggressive dog. Unless you see fear on her face or she requests your help, simply acknowledge the intruder, rejoin her and carry on as you were. Don’t escalate; diffuse. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/64 "2013-01-16T18:34:42Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Women aren’t property, and we generally don’t like it when you pee on our legs. Hmm. The reasons for my extended bachelorhood are fast becoming more well understood. \<_takes notes_\> ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/65 "2013-01-16T18:48:48Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Unless you see fear on her face or she requests your help, simply acknowledge the intruder, rejoin her and carry on as you were. > > Don’t escalate; diffuse. But don’t stand there pointing at the guy yelling “INTRUDER!! INTRUDER!!” as loud as you can. I learned that lesson the hard way. Seriously though, I’ve never really had to “do” anything. If my SO doesn’t want a guy talking to her, she is more than capable of letting me know. ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/66 "2013-01-16T20:01:17Z")
> [@Krouget](#): > > I’ve had it happen a few times. It’s almost always best to initially let your SO handle the problem (it happens to guys, too). 90% of the time, their lack of interest and/or retreating works (most “players” won’t pursuit it, as that’s time they could be spending on the next one). My GF knows she’s my GF. If she’s flirting back at the guy, her actions are the problem, and that’s something she and I can discuss later. If he’s ignoring that she’s not flirting back, he probably won’t ignore her BF actually interacting with her in a way that makes the relationship apparent. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/67 "2013-01-16T20:33:28Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > 1. Make eye contact with woman > > 2. Ask “Are you OK?” This is best done silently from behind the other guy if possible. > > 3. Respond accordingly. What does the guy say after you ask him if he’s ok? ---
**Author:** ![ReticulatingSplines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@ReticulatingSplines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReticulatingSplines)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/68 "2013-01-16T20:45:30Z")
I would toast the guys on their excellent taste in women. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/69 "2013-01-16T21:03:22Z")
Look the fellow in the eye. Then glance over an nod at your date. Look back at the fellow and say “$250.” Either he’ll go away, or you get some cash along with your date being returned in half an hour or so. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/70 "2013-01-16T21:57:14Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Look the fellow in the eye. Then glance over an nod at your date. Look back at the fellow and say “$250.” > > Either he’ll go away, or you get some cash along with your date being returned in half an hour or so. But if he responds, “how about $20 for a hand job”, well, where do you draw the line?😃 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/71 "2013-01-16T22:04:24Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > But if he responds, “how about $20 for a hand job”, well, where do you draw the line?😃 If he has buddies, try to set up a group discount to at least get a couple of hundred out of the lot of them. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2013, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/72 "2013-01-16T23:08:37Z")
This happened with my GF (now wife) when we were dating. Drunk idiot was hitting on her and ignoring her hints to leave her alone while I was getting drinks. I caught her eye over the guys shoulder while walking back and gave her one of our signals that I was about to do something silly (smile & raised eyebrow), she smirked back so I knew it was OK. I slipped between them, put my arms around her and gave her a long ‘get a room you two’ type kiss. When we were finished they guy had wndered off elsewhere 😃 ---
**Author:** ![D-bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@D-bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D-bear)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/73 "2013-01-17T07:36:02Z")
Initiate a 3-way? If he says yes, a night of bi-licious, fun. If he says no, no harm, no foul. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/74 "2013-01-17T09:00:37Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > But if he responds, “how about $20 for a hand job”, well, where do you draw the line?😃 Give him the hand job. And buy another round. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/75 "2013-01-17T09:10:55Z")
Apeshit is the only way. “Are you talking to MY girlfriend, fuckwad? With that fucking outfit?? HAHAHAHAHAHA! What a fucking shit fuck. You came in with two guy friends. Looks like they’re more your fucking type! Go fuck them right now. NOW. Try the second stall in the bathroom. Have fun with the empty TP roll. What a fucking stupid shit you are…” And continue and continue. Be VERY loud. ---
**Author:** ![Saraya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Saraya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saraya)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/76 "2013-01-17T09:24:04Z")
Best option is when it doesn’t involve the boyfriend at all. Any good woman would handle the situation herself which shows respect for herself and her boyfriend. Just think if she was alone, she’d have to handle it on her own. You being there should be irrelevant. If we want equality, then we need to be equally apt to handle a task. However if she wants you to play hero as Bonnie Tyler blasts in the background, then that’s different. Given that it could turn into some nasty broken bottle bar fight that might leave you dead…I’d like to think any loving woman wouldn’t risk that just to test your chivalry. ---
**Author:** ![OleOneEye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f14d63/32.png) [@OleOneEye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OleOneEye)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/77 "2013-01-17T09:29:23Z")
> [@Saraya](#): > > Any good woman would handle the situation herself which shows respect for herself and her boyfriend. So if a woman can’t fend off a much larger man who won’t hear “no”, she doesn’t respect herself or her boyfriend? ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/78 "2013-01-17T10:15:51Z")
> [@OleOneEye](#): > > So if a woman can’t fend off a much larger man who won’t hear “no”, she doesn’t respect herself or her boyfriend? Pretty much. We all know she was asking for it. ---
**Author:** ![OleOneEye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f14d63/32.png) [@OleOneEye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OleOneEye)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/79 "2013-01-17T10:36:42Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > Pretty much. We all know she was asking for it. I meant my question seriously. But perhaps **Saraya** is really Superwoman! and can fend off any and all unwanted attention. (A “good woman” handles the situation to show “respect for herself and her boyfriend”? People use beliefs like this to justify negative consequences for women who are assaulted. Not all men take rejection graciously.) ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356/80 "2013-01-17T11:00:07Z")
> [@Win\_Place\_Show](#): > > Let’s assume she does mind it, and it’s now up to me (the boyfriend) to take control of the situation. One does not follow from the other. She may mind. Why does that make it up to you to take control? Is she not controlling it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-boyfriend-reaction-to-with-a-girlfriend-at-a-bar-and-random-drunk-guy-starts-hitting-on-her/647356.md?page=5)