# Best Bumper stickers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 29, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212 "2000-08-29T17:23:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/1 "2000-08-29T17:23:58Z")
This is a direct knock-off of neutron star’s ‘Worst Bumper Sticker’ thread. I really couldn’t mention a funny one I saw because people were getting all worked up over the bad one’s. But, here goes, one of my all-time favorites: ‘Envision Whirled Peas’ It still makes me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Gregor\_Samsa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@Gregor\_Samsa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gregor_Samsa)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/2 "2000-08-29T17:28:54Z")
“Honk if you’re Jesus.” ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/3 "2000-08-29T17:31:59Z")
Only saw these two once : A drawing of a Confederate battle flag crossed out with a red circle around it, next to the words “Get over it. You lost.” On the same car, a sticker that read “Jesus Christ : Superfraud.” I couldn’t believe the guy had the balls to drive around Louisiana with those stickers on his car. My hat goes off to him. Well, if he hasn’t been lynched by angry rednecks, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/4 "2000-08-29T17:38:40Z")
The Wisconsin state tourism board used to hand out bumper stickers that said: ESCAPE TO WISCONSIN Several years ago we saw a car with the following message obviously cobbled together out of several of those stickers: NO ONE CAN ESCAPE COWS IN WISCONSIN ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/5 "2000-08-29T18:30:43Z")
“I HATE BUMPER STICKERS” and one I used to see as a kid in the 70’s which showed Mickey Mouse giving the finger, and saying, “The Ayatollah can kiss my assholah” I also used to like, “You toucha my car, I breaka you face.” ---
**Author:** ![Gregor\_Samsa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@Gregor\_Samsa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gregor_Samsa)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/6 "2000-08-29T18:40:59Z")
“Jesus is coming - look busy!” ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/7 "2000-08-29T19:05:05Z")
Keep Honking I’m Reloading Driver Only Carries $20.00 Worth Of Ammunition Watch Out! I Drive Like You Do! Cover Me! I’m Going To Change Lanes! L.A. Sucked. We’re Back. (Raiders Fan) I Brake For Hallucinations I Speed Up And Run Over Small Animals I Think That Your Car Looks Funny Too. (Citroen Owner) Fire President Clinton. And Her Husband. More to follow when I remember them. ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/8 "2000-08-29T19:12:22Z")
I Love Animals. They’re Delicious. Boys In The Hood (with a picture of 3 hooded Klansmen)–_I DON’T condone it, I just thought it was funny._ _And the one guaranteed to offend everybody:_ Nuke A Gay Whale For Christ ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/9 "2000-08-29T19:17:15Z")
One I saw a couple of days ago: “Caution: Driver Just Doesn’t Care Anymore.” And one on our next-door-neighbor’s car: “Sorry I missed church. I was busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.” ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/10 "2000-08-29T19:18:22Z")
“Motorcycles–Put Something Exciting Between Your Legs!” ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/11 "2000-08-29T19:39:24Z")
I went ahead and posted my funny one in the other thread instead of doing the honorable thing and starting a new one. But I’ll repeat it here where it belongs: **Lorena Bobbitt for White House Intern** also **Born OK the first time** **Eve was framed** ---
**Author:** ![Kim\_G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kim\_G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kim_G)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/12 "2000-08-29T19:48:51Z")
“My kid beat the hell out of your honor student” ---
**Author:** ![argybarg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@argybarg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/argybarg)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/13 "2000-08-29T19:52:10Z")
Stolen off a dumpster: “FLATTEN ALL BOXES” ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/14 "2000-08-29T20:33:02Z")
“Vegetarian = Indian for ‘Lousy Hunter’” “PETA - **P** eople **E** ating **T** asty **A** nimals.” “Visualize getting off your hippie ass and getting a job.” “Discourage Indbreeding: Ban Country Music” (this one makes Mrs. Rastahomie livid 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/15 "2000-08-29T20:41:51Z")
“My kid sold your honor student the answers he needed.” “Put the FUN back in FUNERAL.” And, there was this one that a guy I went to college with had custom-made: “Caffeine: The Christian Drug.” Guess you had to be there. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/16 "2000-08-29T20:46:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gunslinger \* > \*\*_And the one guaranteed to offend everybody:_ > Nuke A Gay Whale For Christ \*\* I used to wear a button that said that- saved alot of time: people would either laugh and I’d know I should talk to them or they’d frown and say “I don’t get it” also have " Friends don’t let friends vote republican" and one that has come back to haunt us: “Beat the Bushes for a better America” ---
**Author:** ![Landsknecht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@Landsknecht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Landsknecht)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/17 "2000-08-29T21:08:32Z")
JESUS SAVES! He passes to Gretzky, Gretzky shoots…he scores! ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/18 "2000-08-29T21:31:56Z")
From Landsknecht: > [@](#): > > JESUS SAVES! > He passes to Gretzky, > Gretzky shoots…he scores I **need** this bumper sticker. That would be one I’d be proud to put on my car. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/19 "2000-08-29T21:50:36Z")
“If you don’t like the way I drive, then STAY OFF THE SIDEWALK!” ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2000, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/20 "2000-08-29T22:02:17Z")
If I had guts (um… and a car…) I’d put these two bumper stickers together: **Jesus was a Liberal** and **Thank God I’m an Atheist** [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212.md?page=2)