# Best Bumper stickers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 29, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212 "2000-08-29T17:23:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2000, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/41 "2000-08-30T08:37:47Z")
more stickers i like or would like to see visualize using your turn signal! The last \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ with working turn signals my child beat the crap out of your honor roll student. this car is held together with stickers do not start with me! you will not win ! next mood swing: 5 minutes how can i miss you when you wont go away?! you are just jealous because the little voices talk to me my mom is a travel agent for guilt trips if there is no chocolate in heaven …i ain’t going! when someone pisses you off, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to give them the finger!(or bitchslap them!) put down the bottle and drive that thing! keep honking, my gun (has a) is a speedloader! ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2000, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/42 "2000-08-30T11:02:57Z")
“That Does It. I’m Calling the Mother Ship.” “Eschew Obfuscation” “Computers Run on Smoke. If it Leaks Out, They Stop Working.” “Pharesis Donors: The Few, The Proud, The Machined.” Visualize a bumper sticker with faded letters & torn corners: “Entropy Happens” ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2000, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/43 "2000-08-30T15:07:50Z")
Mrs. O swears she saw a bumper “sticker” that looked like one of those plastic Jesus fishes except it said “GEFILTE”. We want one. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2000, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/44 "2000-08-30T15:21:19Z")
Cthulhu for President: Why vote for the **lesser** of two evils? Always a favorite one. ---
**Author:** ![Limey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Limey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Limey)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2000, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/45 "2000-08-30T15:23:09Z")
Personal faves: Your dad should have pulled out first. Humpty Dumpty didn’t fall, he was pushed. Had them on my car in the late 80’s, they made me scrape them off before I could get back onto the Navy base where I was stationed at the time. Apparently the locals were offended and “forced” the Navy to censor since they could not do it to the general population. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2000, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/46 "2000-08-30T16:49:06Z")
> [@](#): > > except it said “GEFILTE”. > We want one The website that Jello mentioned earlier in this thread, [http://www.evolvefish.com](http://www.evolvefish.com) , sells them. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2000, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/47 "2000-08-30T17:54:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Olentzero \* > \*\*Mrs. O swears she saw a bumper “sticker” that looked like one of those plastic Jesus fishes except it said “GEFILTE”. > We want one. 😃 \*\* you can get one here [http://www.evolvefish.com](http://www.evolvefish.com) ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/48 "2000-08-31T13:48:24Z")
Thanks for the suggestion! I tried it out yesterday after seeing it here and bingo, two versions. Mrs. O found out yesterday after playing “Twenty Questions: I Found Your Birthday Present Today” and she’s psyched. She wants one really bad now. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/49 "2000-08-31T13:57:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Smeghead \* > \*\*From [http://www.landoverbaptist.org](http://www.landoverbaptist.org): > Get Your Ass To Church!! \*\* That site is hilarious. I didn’t think you could deadpan on the web, but I’ve been proven wrong. My favorite: **No Gas? No Grass? No Ass? No Free Ride!** ---
**Author:** ![Unix\_Geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unix_geek/32/19368_2.png) [@Unix\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unix_Geek)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/50 "2000-08-31T16:34:55Z")
And from New Hampshire/Maine: **Wicked Good Bumpa Sticka** ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/51 "2000-08-31T16:52:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Landsknecht \* > \*\*JESUS SAVES! > He passes to Gretzky, > Gretzky shoots…he scores! \*\* There’s also JESUS SAVES…by shopping wisely and using double coupons ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/52 "2000-08-31T17:25:31Z")
My personal favorite from the evolvefish site: It’s YOUR Hell. YOU burn in it. My father (Trek geek that he is) for years had a bumper sticker that said “This car runs on impulse power,” which we all found that much more humorous because it was on his Gremlin ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/53 "2000-08-31T17:33:52Z")
My Juvenile Delinquent’s F\*\*\*ing your Honor Student ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/54 "2000-08-31T20:40:08Z")
My fave is: “One recruit shy of a toaster oven” ---
**Author:** ![Pantology](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@Pantology](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantology)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/55 "2000-08-31T22:29:14Z")
Saw one today that actually made me laugh out loud: Fat people are harder to kidnap ---
**Author:** ![Qixotica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/5fc32e/32.png) [@Qixotica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qixotica)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2000, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/56 "2000-08-31T23:11:00Z")
The more interesting stickers I have seen: Boys are from Venus, Girls are from HELL! (and vice-versa) Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket? Get any closer, and I’ll EAT you! STUPIDITY should be painful. I shall stomp all those who oppose me. The stomping shall be swift, The stomping shall be painful. And I shall show no mercy, in all of my stomping. Amen. ---
**Author:** ![Kaps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a87d85/32.png) [@Kaps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaps)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/57 "2000-09-01T00:21:49Z")
Saw this on a big F150 recently in Houston: “Guns don’t kill people, I do.” Suprisingly the person driving was a 20-something young yuppie-looking girl. Makes you wonder, huh? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/58 "2000-09-01T00:36:29Z")
Guns don’t kill people, bullets do. If you’re going to be a turd, go out and lay on the lawn. I know it’s pretty, but stay off my ass. Psycho Amazon Warbitch From Hell. (Heading for my one hundredth post! Woo Hoo!) ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2000, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212/59 "2000-09-01T00:38:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jesuslynch \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Smeghead \* > > \*\*From [http://www.landoverbaptist.org](http://www.landoverbaptist.org): > > Get Your Ass To Church!! \*\* > > That site is hilarious. I didn’t think you could deadpan on the web, but I’ve been proven wrong. > > My favorite: > > **No Gas? No Grass? No Ass? No Free Ride!** > > \*\* If you like Landover you’ll love [http://www.theonion.com](http://www.theonion.com) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/31212.md?page=2)