# Best bumper stickers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2001, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975 "2001-08-19T03:16:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![katie1341](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/91b2a8/32.png) [@katie1341](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katie1341)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2001, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/21 "2001-08-19T21:10:40Z")
“WWJD? (Who Wants Jelly Donuts?)” ``` "Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket?" ``` ---
**Author:** ![sk8rixtx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@sk8rixtx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sk8rixtx)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2001, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/22 "2001-08-19T21:15:04Z")
“Do not mettle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy, and go good with ketchup.” I have this one on mine. Only a select few have one of these custom made bumper stickers that we made at the Bench Shop: “Butt-sex.” ---
**Author:** ![fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fish_in_the_sky)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2001, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/23 "2001-08-19T22:26:49Z")
“I can’t go to work today. The voices said ‘stay home and clean the guns.’” “WWXD: What would Xena Do?” “Not all who wander are lost.” “Humans aren’t the only species, we just act like it.” “Militant Agnostic: I don’t know and you don’t either.” “Darwin loves you” “Honk if you think I’m Jesus” “I’m so homophobic I can’t even touch myself” “Mall\*Wart: Your source for cheap plastic crap” “Friends don’t let friends vote Republican” “Re-Elect Gore in 2004” Most of those I haven’t actually seen on cars, but they’re some of my favourites from the Northern Sun catalog. (They have a website; I’d link to it–the address isn’t hard to guess–but I dunno, am I allowed? Would that count as “advertising”?) ---
**Author:** ![dentarthurdent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@dentarthurdent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dentarthurdent)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2001, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/24 "2001-08-19T23:23:55Z")
My kid beat up your honor student I brake for nothing I brake for no particular reason You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war -Einstein ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/25 "2001-08-20T00:36:20Z")
My personal favorite: **Jesus May Love You, But I Think You’re Garbage Wrapped In Skin** ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/26 "2001-08-20T00:38:46Z")
JESUS IS COMING SOON [SUB][SUP]AND BOY IS HE PISSED OFF[/SUP][/SUB] ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/27 "2001-08-20T00:43:00Z")
Eschew Obfuscation ---
**Author:** ![PlanMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2bfe46/32.png) [@PlanMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlanMan)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/28 "2001-08-20T00:43:33Z")
“Vote Republican - Its Easier Than Thinking” [hijack] and not a bumper sticker, but a vanity tag… A University of Florida special tag “FOURQ” how did THAT get past the folks at the tag agency? [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Shera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Shera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shera)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/29 "2001-08-20T00:53:23Z")
Heart Attacks:Gods revenge for eating his animal friends. I wanna be like Barbie, that Bitch has everything! [sub] I have that one[/sub] Bush Lost ---
**Author:** ![Ski\_the\_Soo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Ski\_the\_Soo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ski_the_Soo)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/30 "2001-08-20T00:58:49Z")
I saw one that wasn’t great so much as puzzling: DRIVER CARRIES NO CASHEWS ---
**Author:** ![Baraqiyal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@Baraqiyal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baraqiyal)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/31 "2001-08-20T03:09:51Z")
“Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.” Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. > [@](#): > > \*\*My kid beat up your honor student > \*\* I could write a whole rant about this one; suffice it to say that I don’t find it very amusing. ---
**Author:** ![darksenshi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@darksenshi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/darksenshi)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/32 "2001-08-20T05:31:51Z")
My boy friend had one that said “discourage inbreeding: Ban country music” ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/33 "2001-08-20T05:51:21Z")
I said “No” to drugs, but the drugs didn’t listen. I (spade) my cat. Impeach Bush, and we’ll call it even. Don’t blame me, I _think_ I voted for Gore. Impeach the media. ---
**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/34 "2001-08-20T05:59:24Z")
I always thought, “My other ride is your daughter,” would be nice for the local high school hot shot. And…“I don’t look busy 'cause I did it right the first time!” ---
**Author:** ![sewalk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@sewalk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sewalk)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/35 "2001-08-20T06:01:43Z")
What? Nobody else likes “Mean People Suck”? ---
**Author:** ![SlightDistrurbance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SlightDistrurbance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlightDistrurbance)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/36 "2001-08-20T06:07:01Z")
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. Caution: I drive like you do Cover me, I’m changing lanes It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you Math and alcohol don’t mix, so don’t drink and derive! In space, no one can hear your teddy bear scream Sheep don’t fly as much as plummet ---
**Author:** ![Mikahw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Mikahw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikahw)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/37 "2001-08-20T06:17:40Z")
I saw one on the side of a van that said: “Driver only carries $20 in ammunition” I need to find one of those. I could put right next to the “Guns don’t kill people; I do” sticker. Truthfully, though, I’d prefer to have a sticker that says “Guns don’t kill people; bullets do”. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/38 "2001-08-20T06:19:44Z")
One of my favorite ones was long enough that you could only read it if the car was parked: Scientists predict the sun will burn out in 3 billion years - which means they’ll have to finish Highway 75 in the dark. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/39 "2001-08-20T06:32:39Z")
Caution: driver doesn’t give a shit! ---
**Author:** ![FlyingDragonFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c89c15/32.png) [@FlyingDragonFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingDragonFan)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975/40 "2001-08-20T13:24:39Z")
What Would Ozzy Do? YOU! Out of the gene pool! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-bumper-stickers/76975.md?page=3)