# Best "CASABLANCA" Lines! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 29, 2008, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586 "2008-02-29T01:36:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/1 "2008-02-29T01:36:14Z")
Having just watched this classic, I thought I’d solicit some comments; here are my favorites: (Capt. Renault): “Ah, Signor Ugarte-we can’t decide whether he died attempting to escape, or committed suicide!” (Capt. Renault): “I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here” (Underling): “Your winnings, sir” (Capt. Renault): “Oh, thank you” (Patron at Rick’s-to waiter)“is this place honest?” (Waiter)-“as honest as the day is long” (Capt. Renault-after Major Strasser was shot)-“Major Strasser’s been shot-round up the usual suspects” (Rick)-“Of all the gin joints in the world, she has to walk into mine” (Rick): “I came to Casablanca for the waters” (Capt. Renault): “Waters? What waters-Casablanca is in the desert” (Rick) “I was misinformed” ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/2 "2008-02-29T01:47:13Z")
It’s a movie with so many memorable lines it’s tough, but: Major Strasser: Are you one of those people who cannot imagine the Germans in their beloved Paris? Rick: It’s not particularly my beloved Paris. Heinz: Can you imagine us in London? Rick: When you get there, ask me! Captain Renault: Hmmh! Diplomatist! Major Strasser: How about New York? Rick: Well there are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn’t advise you to try to invade. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/3 "2008-02-29T01:53:39Z")
You’re right, Ugarte. I am a little more _impressed_ with you. Who are you, and what were you before? What did you do and what did you think? (I love the delivery of that one - so unexpected and strange). You mustn’t underestimate American blundering. I was with them when they blundered into Berlin in 1914. ---
**Author:** ![ACC\_Expat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/76d3ee/32.png) [@ACC\_Expat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ACC_Expat)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/4 "2008-02-29T01:54:12Z")
I suppose “everything that comes out of Claude Rains’s mouth” is a bit too general? The “I’m shocked, shocked…” bit is my favorite, but I also like: Rick: Nine chances out of ten, we’d both wind up in a concentration camp. Isn’t that true, Louie? Captain Renault: I’m afraid Major Strasser would insist. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/5 "2008-02-29T02:13:49Z")
_Woman:_ What makes saloonkeepers so snobbish? _Banker:_ Perhaps if you told him I ran the second largest banking house in Amsterdam. _Carl:_ Second largest? That wouldn’t impress Rick. The leading banker in Amsterdam is now the pastry chef in our kitchen. _Banker:_ We have something to look forward to. * * * _Ugarte:_ You know, Rick, I have many a friend in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust. * * * _Berger:_ We read five times that you were killed, in five different places. _Victor Laszlo:_ As you can see, it was true every single time. * * * _Annina:_ Monsieur Rick, what kind of a man is Captain Renault? _Rick:_ Oh, he’s just like any other man, only more so. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/6 "2008-02-29T02:23:13Z")
This just knocks me out: “If that plane leaves the ground and you’re not with him, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life.” ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/7 "2008-02-29T02:42:17Z")
“You want my advice?” “Oh, yes. Please . . .” “Go back to Bulgaria.” “They got a lucky break. Yesterday they were just two German clerks. Today they’re the ‘Honored Dead.’” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/8 "2008-02-29T02:58:25Z")
“You say _Third Reich_ as though you expect there to be a Fourth.” “I will take what comes.” ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/9 "2008-02-29T03:17:39Z")
Captain Renault: How extravagant you are, throwing away women like that. Some day they may be scarce. ---
**Author:** ![PaperBlob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58956e/32.png) [@PaperBlob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaperBlob)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/10 "2008-02-29T03:18:32Z")
Rick tells Renault that his gun is pointed right at his heart. Renault says “THAT is my least vulnerable spot.” Seconded on the “I was with them when they blundered into Berlin” line. The entire scene where Victor Laszlo leads the patrons in singing La Marseillaise. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/11 "2008-02-29T16:15:08Z")
Are my eyes really brown? ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/12 "2008-02-29T16:28:19Z")
[QUOTE=Morbo] You mustn’t underestimate American blundering. I was with them when they blundered into Berlin in 1914. [/QUOTE] That would have been **quite** a blunder, as the US didn’t even enter the war until 1917. Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/13 "2008-02-29T16:32:12Z")
[QUOTE=PaperBlob] Seconded on the “I was with them when they blundered into Berlin” line. [/QUOTE] Which is not even spoiled if you know that the Americans got no where near Berlin in the First World War. [QUOTE=PaperBlob] The entire scene where Victor Laszlo leads the patrons in singing La Marseillaise. [/QUOTE] Which means, of course, that one of the best lines is not even original: Allons enfants de la Patrie, Le jour de gloire est arrivé! Contre nous de la tyrannie, L’étendard sanglant est levé. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/14 "2008-02-29T17:19:46Z")
> [@](#): > > Rick: Oh, he’s just like any other man, only more so. I use that one all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/15 "2008-02-29T17:49:01Z")
A couple of favourites that haven’t been mentioned so far: _Rick and Renault are making their wager:_ Rick: Twenty thousand francs says it isn’t. Renault: Is that a serious offer? Rick: I just paid out twenty. I’d like to get it back. Renault: Make it ten. I’m only a poor corrupt official. _Renault is instructing Carl on how to seat Major Strasser:_ Renault: Carl, see that Major Strasser gets a good table, one close to the ladies. Carl: I have already given him the best, knowing he is German and would take it anyway. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/16 "2008-02-29T17:49:21Z")
Ugarte: Rick, think of all the poor devils who can’t meet Renault’s price. I get it for them for half. Is that so… parasitic? Rick: I don’t mind a parasite. I object to a cut-rate one. Renault: Oh no, Emil, please. A bottle of your best champagne, and put it on my bill. Emil: Very well, sir. Victor: Captain, please… Renault: Oh, please, monsieur. It is a little game we play. They put it on the bill, I tear up the bill. It is very convenient. Rick: I wouldn’t bring up Paris if I were you. It’s poor salesmanship. Renault: Come to my office tomorrow morning. We’ll do everything businesslike. Jan: We’ll be there at six! Renault: I’ll be there at ten. Rick: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/17 "2008-02-29T18:06:08Z")
[QUOTE=PaperBlob] Seconded on the “I was with them when they blundered into Berlin” line. . [/QUOTE] That is the one line I hate. Because the American’s never set foot in Berlin During the War. The German’s still occupied French Soil when the armistice was signed. Yet Renault makes it sound like Germany had been captured rather than capitulated. Still I love the rest. Especially Renault’s “I’m shocked..” line ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/18 "2008-02-29T18:18:13Z")
[QUOTE=kingpengvin] The German’s still occupied French Soil when the armistice was signed. [/QUOTE] They were making moonshine? ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/19 "2008-02-29T18:26:16Z")
Yvonne: Where were you last night? Rick: That’s so long ago, I don’t remember. Yvonne: Will I see you tonight? Rick: I never make plans that far ahead. - Rick: Sam, Ferrari wants you to work for him at the Blue Parrot. Sam: I like it fine here. Rick: He’ll double what I pay you. Sam: Yeah, but I ain’t got time to spend the money I make here. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586/20 "2008-02-29T18:34:34Z")
[QUOTE=kingpengvin] That is the one line I hate. Because the American’s never set foot in Berlin During the War. The German’s still occupied French Soil when the armistice was signed. Yet Renault makes it sound like Germany had been captured rather than capitulated. [/QUOTE] Seriously, that is the least of the logical problems in _Casablanca_. Aside from wondering what the Gestapo is doing bossing around the prefect of police in Free French Morocco (perhaps they’re left over from digging up the Ark of the Covenant in British Egypt), there is the whole issue of the vaunted “Letters of Transit”, which despite being described as instruments of permission that cannot be questioned or revoked, are insufficient to prevent Major Strasser from trying to stop the plane and arrest Lazlo. And then there is Ilsa, who despite ostensibly being the romantic center of the film is a duplicitous, unprincipled dead weight. I mean, she’s seriously willing to toss her husband and great leader of the Resistance over to the Gestapo just bump scratchies with Rick? Renault is wrong when he says to Rick, “Apparently you’re the only one in Casablanca with less scruples than I.” Ilsa has them both beat, and he’s well to be shed of her. Personally, I think she knew all along that it would play out this way, and she used Rick like an old dishrag by guilting him into protecting her and providing safe passage for her and Lazlo without cost, but people get unreasonably upset when you start pointing out all the subtexts and inconsistencies in this “classic”. It does have some great lines of dialogue, though, like: Captain Renault: I’ve often speculated why you don’t return to America. Did you abscond with the church funds? Run off with a senator’s wife? I like to think you killed a man. It’s the Romantic in me. Rick: It was a combination of all three. Captain Renault: What in heaven’s name brought you to Casablanca? Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters. Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We’re in the desert. Rick: I was misinformed. and my favorite: Captain Renault: Realizing the importance of the case, my men are rounding up twice the usual number of suspects. Stranger [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-casablanca-lines/439586.md?page=2)