# Best. Damn. Post. Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 8, 2007, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261 "2007-05-08T16:04:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/1 "2007-05-08T16:04:31Z")
Inspired by [this post in the Pit thread on feeding raccoons.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8549672&postcount=50) Brilliant post. Incisive, informative, tough-minded, and devastingly logical. My only comment in response to it was that it was the best damn post I’ve read this year. Which raises the question: what would you nominate as the best post ever–or at least in a currently active thread? You may wish to differentiate by forum, as a A++++ GD post is vastly different from a A+++++ CS post, IMHO post, etc. Any nominations? ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/2 "2007-05-08T17:59:29Z")
[Grandpa is trapped in The Maxtrix](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=416451), by Scylla. In MPSIMS, though not MPSIMS. At all. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/3 "2007-05-08T18:28:08Z")
^^^Yeah, that was a very good one. I think all of my own are gems, of course. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/4 "2007-05-08T18:57:26Z")
I think the greatest post has yet to be discovered. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/5 "2007-05-08T18:58:29Z")
Though there is [this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8550703&postcount=4), which is certainly a diamond in the rough. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/6 "2007-05-08T19:14:20Z")
[QUOTE=Eonwe] Though there is [this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8550703&postcount=4), which is certainly a diamond in the rough. [/QUOTE] You’re so predictable. No wonder Annatar was able to escape your custody. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/7 "2007-05-08T19:33:18Z")
I don’t think I’d be able to find it. I don’t know who posted it, nor in which forum, but my Clue guess is **Qadgop** in CS with the candlestick. He was not the OP, but it was a thread about LotR. Someone had asked why Gandalf was a wizard when he obviously never cast any spells. The post in question ran for about three pages. It was epic. I laughed, I cried, I soiled myself, I took a shower, I did some laundry. It was a true work of art. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/8 "2007-05-08T19:39:32Z")
Tell that to your colon. By **Auto** , perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/9 "2007-05-08T20:04:12Z")
I felt that [this OP](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=306209) was a perfect encapsulation of the frustration that **Euthanasiast** was feeling about a former relationship. It still brings a small tear to my eye. ---
**Author:** ![sparklemotion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@sparklemotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparklemotion)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/10 "2007-05-08T20:56:20Z")
I can’t search for the link, but Eve’s post with the “Gotcha ya!” was the reason I kept lurking here for so long. ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/11 "2007-05-08T20:58:12Z")
In [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=238815) thread, Qadcop makes a LOTR post so geeky, his fellow geeks don’t know what he’s talking about and assume he’s just making fun of them. That is damned impressive. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/12 "2007-05-09T05:20:12Z")
A week after I joined the SDMB four years ago, I read [this GQ thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=170706), which asked > [@Love Rhombus](#): > > Would Godzilla be an “Act of God?” > > I was watching an old Godzilla movie when the thought occurred to me: how would the insurance people pay for a giant monsters’ rampage, if at all? Would it be a natural disaster? What exactly is an “act of God” to them? I was particularly amused by [post #14](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=3151928&postcount=14) by **pravnik** , who, after writing a couple of authoritative paragraphs about the legal status of Gozilla, concluded: > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **pravnik** > > **Disclaimer: I am a lawyer, but I am neither your lawyer nor Godzilla’s lawyer. I do not practice in a Godzilla related field, and am not competent to offer advice in the event of Godzilla attacks beyond _Run!!! It’s Godzilla!!!_** Four years later, it’s still my favorite SDMB line. As **SNenc** said a few posts earlier: > [@SNenc](#): > > It’s questions like this that make me love this place. A completely legitimate question about a completely absurd scenario that generates completely legitimate, informed and factual responses. > > Only on the SDMB, folks. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/13 "2007-05-11T17:28:23Z")
[QUOTE=commasense] I was particularly amused by [post #14](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=3151928&postcount=14) by **pravnik** , who, after writing a couple of authoritative paragraphs about the legal status of Gozilla, concluded: Four years later, it’s still my favorite SDMB line. [/QUOTE] Well, that just made my day. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/14 "2007-05-11T19:15:01Z")
Giraffe’s post [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5824640&postcount=21) is my all-time favourite. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/15 "2007-05-11T19:22:02Z")
I’ve long been fond of [this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8563600&postcount=15). ---
**Author:** ![Hugh\_Jass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4da419/32.png) [@Hugh\_Jass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hugh_Jass)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/16 "2007-05-11T19:31:43Z")
Is it threadshitting to say that this thread made me glad I renewed again? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/17 "2007-05-11T19:38:39Z")
[QUOTE=commasense] I was particularly amused by [post #14](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=3151928&postcount=14) by **pravnik** , who, after writing a couple of authoritative paragraphs about the legal status of Gozilla, concluded: [/QUOTE] That _is_ awesome. ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/18 "2007-05-11T19:51:01Z")
I’m almost afraid to look at [this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7617813&postcount=1) again, because I truly am not worthy to bask in its glory and beauty, but hands down, this post had me in tears for…well…it’s a year later and I’m still crying. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/19 "2007-05-11T19:51:30Z")
Hmm, I guess I’ll be the first to post [this classic about telemarketers.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=974729&postcount=1) ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261/20 "2007-05-11T20:07:21Z")
Skald the Rhymer, I’m honored to be included with the likes of ‘Grandpa is trapped in The Maxtrix’ and ‘this classic about telemarketers’. Thank you. _(looks down, shrugs shoulders, scuffles sand with toe…)_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-damn-post-ever/403261.md?page=2)