# Best Doper Quote You Wish You Had Said **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 27, 2005, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126 "2005-02-27T05:07:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sevo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sevo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevo)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/1 "2005-02-27T05:07:16Z")
What are the great quotes/one-liners you’ve seen lately? (Quoting yourself is not allowed). My favorite from the last few months goes to **Qadgop the Mercotan** last December when pitting his Xmas tree: “May the agony of your death be exceeded only by the glory of my countenance”. That one still makes me grin. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/2 "2005-02-27T05:44:58Z")
I can’t even remember who posted this, but there was a thread in Cafe Society about choosing either Sigourney Weaver or Britney Spears for a girlfriend. Somebody said: “I’d take Sigourney Weaver. Sooner or later you have to either talk or kill aliens, and Britney would be worthless in either case.” 😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/3 "2005-02-27T05:50:36Z")
And then there’s this sig line: ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/4 "2005-02-27T05:59:50Z")
There’s always this sig line here… ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/5 "2005-02-27T06:03:41Z")
Wow, I feel dumb. :smack: Let’s try this again… ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/6 "2005-02-27T06:05:06Z")
I give up. I’m resigning from the SDMB on the grounds of proliferating ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![Oregon\_sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Oregon\_sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oregon_sunshine)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/7 "2005-02-27T06:08:14Z")
“Penis ensued.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/8 "2005-02-27T07:42:49Z")
In the thread about the guy who died from an overdose on Ecstasy, **lieu** said: “Man, that dude’s gonna be all over St. Peter.” ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/9 "2005-02-27T08:24:14Z")
The quote in my profile is from **Virgowitch** , a banned Doper, and was taken from a GD (a)theism thread about a month after I registered. It’s always made me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/10 "2005-02-27T08:29:23Z")
“I’m not class warring, I just don’t like yuppies.” - FreakFreely I’m not really sure I wish I’d said it, but it’s funny anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/11 "2005-02-27T10:42:25Z")
> [@Starving Artist](#): > > I’m just saying that if it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck,…etc. But then again, it could just be Elton John in a duck suit. We’ll just have to wait and see. From [URL=http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5001682&highlight=duck+Elton#post5001682]this thread, where Dopers wonder if a certain blond, flirting, 18-year old newbie-girl is, in fact, an hairy Russian guy in disguise. ---
**Author:** ![RandomLetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@RandomLetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandomLetters)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/12 "2005-02-27T10:48:45Z")
Ah, they’re 1920’s style “Death Rays.” ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/13 "2005-02-27T10:58:08Z")
**Maastricht** , you already know I think you’re a really cool person, so it tickles me especially that you got such a kick out of that. Cheers. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/14 "2005-02-27T14:45:33Z")
A recent one. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/15 "2005-02-27T15:07:54Z")
Do y’all realize that some of us have sigs disabled, which makes this thread about half invisible? ---
**Author:** ![Dancer\_Flight](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dancer_flight/32/7601_2.png) [@Dancer\_Flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dancer_Flight)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/16 "2005-02-27T15:08:23Z")
[This](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4907984&postcount=1) is the post that made we want to stay here, specifically the last few lines of the Post Script. I’d quote it here but it is liberally sprinkled with pit language. A bit of background: I was a Ph.D. Graduate student in Astrophysics at the time and had suffered through a radiation processes course in my Master’s degree. It was good to see there was another human being out there that had suffered as much as we did. My hat’s off to you **Podkayne**. -DF ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/17 "2005-02-27T15:27:35Z")
There’s a closed thread about peoples’ experiences with psychedelic drugs, and **Master Wang-Ka** wrote a brilliant, hilarious story about having unwittingly drunk some whiskey that was laced with LSD one time at a party. He went into a dark bedroom and lay down on the bed amid a pile of coats. After awhile, he wondered what would happen if somebody came into the room to look for their coat. “Well, we’d fool them by pretending to BE a coat. [snip] How does one impersonate a coat? Well … you cover up your face, for one thing. You lie very still, and loose, and floppy, and … you try to … to think coatlike thoughts.” The rest of the story is a screamer. I wish I could have written something even approaching its greatness. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/18 "2005-02-27T15:31:18Z")
Oh, **Master Wang-Ka** ’s a hoot. (He’s going to think I’m stalking him, but really, I get such a tickle from his stories.) I love the one about the electrocuting apartment, and the disappearing kitchen fire, and the Jehovah’s witnesses. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/19 "2005-02-27T15:46:56Z")
Gotcha ya! ---
**Author:** ![drpepper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@drpepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drpepper)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126/20 "2005-02-27T22:29:54Z")
In a recent pit thread, a Doper describing a scene at home with his roommates mentioned something along the lines of the “tension level being at Defcon 1”. Cracked me up, and had the chance to use it in conversation a couple nights ago. I’m meticulously fairminded about other people’s lines, though; I always have to say, “I can’t take credit for that, I heard that on the Dope [or wherever]”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/292126.md?page=2)