# Best Doper quote you wish you had said **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 17, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533 "2010-12-17T17:54:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/21 "2010-12-20T10:06:35Z")
“Fuck you bitches, George Washington charged up San Juan Hill and Ben Franklin wrote the Gettysburg Address and RosaParkskilled all those busdrivers all so that I have the freedom to do what I want” -Sampiro’s OP from this [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=575133&highlight=Rosa+Parks) ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/22 "2010-12-20T13:02:11Z")
not sure who said it > [@](#): > > oh, are we playing modified calvinball? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/23 "2010-12-20T13:19:03Z")
**Sampiro** again from [this recent thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=589857): > [@Sampiro](#): > > I have come to like and respect Sarah Palin more than I do McCain (and I’ve met iguanas I like and respect more Sarah Palin). She’s an on-the-make bullshit artist but at least I think she’s sane and not a complete joke and political Norma Desmond with delusions of his own relevance and a soul that’s been sold so often the SoulFax listing is still six owners behind. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/24 "2010-12-20T14:31:32Z")
There was a really funny bit where somebody said that women who use that dark lip liner and white lipstick looked like “evil clowns with anus lips” and the next post was “Doo dah, doo dah!” and it’s cracking me up right now thinking about it. Oh, [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=2124683&postcount=15) it is. I also liked a bit from Miller on [qualifications to be an action hero](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=568515&highlight=ingots+thigh) in a movie with Predators in it and how Adrian Brody doesn’t measure up: "Who cares about the truth? This is a movie about jungle mercenaries fighting giant Rastafarian space monsters. The lead should look like he can hammer steel ingots into flat sheets using his cock as the hammer and his inner thigh as the anvil. Adrien Brody has not convinced me of his penile blacksmithing abilities." ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/25 "2010-12-20T15:03:35Z")
There was one from **Devorin** where we were talking about how Indian movies were not real, and **ZSofia** says, "You don’t mean to tell me that you don’t have a bazillion backup dancers that appear out of nowhere when needed and then vanish back into the void from whence they came after the song? " and he responded: > [@](#): > > I spent my life tripping over them, the ungrateful degenerates! They just get underfoot. Cramps my style when I’m running around trees with my latest inamorata. From [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8762946&postcount=11). I’ve always wished I could have said that first. I still laugh over it. ---
**Author:** ![snowmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@snowmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowmaster)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/26 "2010-12-21T03:44:44Z")
**kaylasdad99** In the Princess Bride thread with > [@](#): > > What Smeghead said. You could have subjected yourself to a more in-depth reading of the thread. > > Or, put another way: never go in against a Cecilian when depth is on the line. Pure comic genius! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/27 "2010-12-21T04:14:32Z")
I’m still kinda proud of the line I came up with in the thread about Charlie Sheen’s second Mercedes rolling off a cliff. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/28 "2010-12-22T06:15:33Z")
**Ntucker** also wins the lulz for [this exchange](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12945215&postcount=27): A person didn’t like the idea of their Doper Gallery picture next to their name (think of it almost like an avatar) and said: > [@](#): > > I don’t particularly want my picture being passed about on the internet. I certainly dont want people reading my posts, glancing at my picture as if we are best buddies and they have a wallet photo of me. I’m anonymous. Thats how I want it. which brought on one of my favorite all time responses: > [@ntucker](#): > > Too late. A few weeks ago I printed out your picture and whenever I see one of your posts I hold it up next to the monitor. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/29 "2010-12-22T14:52:23Z")
A random one off the top of my head. Some doper was trying to find shorts. All he could find was either too short shorts or shorts that went down to somewhere about between his knees and his ankles. And those had pockets so deep he (or someone else in the thread) had to kinda bend over to reach stuff in the pockets to get em out. Which has enough truth to it to be funny IMO. But what topped it off for me was the thread title. Something like “I don’t want to look like Little Lord Fucking Fauntleroy” ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/30 "2010-12-22T20:16:45Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > There was a really funny bit where somebody said that women who use that dark lip liner and white lipstick looked like “evil clowns with anus lips” and the next post was “Doo dah, doo dah!” and it’s cracking me up right now thinking about it. OMG. That’s the funniest thing I’ve read in months, and I’m not sure why. ---
**Author:** ![DWSKAMS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b3f665/32.png) [@DWSKAMS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWSKAMS)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2010, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/31 "2010-12-23T10:35:56Z")
I saw it a short time ago but don’t remember the poster… “Don’t stick your dick in the crazy”. Hilarious and true! ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2010, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/32 "2010-12-23T10:49:40Z")
I don’t remember so well, but I think it was a sig line which went something like this (correct me, please). “This isn’t a particle accelerator I have in my pocket. I have a hadron”. Thanks Q ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2010, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/33 "2010-12-23T16:13:50Z")
I like “Your post reads like Flowers for Algernon, pre-operation.” I think it was **RNATB**. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2010, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/34 "2010-12-23T16:19:47Z")
I can’t find the thread, but **weirddave** went totally off in some response. Someone quoted it and responded: We’ve secretly replaced weirddave’s coffee with 100% pure Columbian cocaine. Let’s see if he notices. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/35 "2011-01-04T17:19:25Z")
From the thread [Can Superman Tear His Own Head Off](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=359926): [QUOTE=Terrifel] From “JLA Self-Mutilation 80-Page Giant”-- **THE PASSION OF THE BAT** (Not a dream! Not an imaginary story!) (SCENE: THE JUSTICE LEAGUE SATELLITE) GREEN LANTERN: --and so, to resolve this question once and for all, Batman and Superman have both agreed to a race. At my ring-signal, Superman will attempt to tear his own head off before Batman can crucify himself. WONDER WOMAN: Um… does anyone remember what the point of this contest was? GREEN ARROW: Don’t act so innocent, babe. How can you expect people to trust a leader, if he can’t even tear his own head off when the situation demands it? WONDER WOMAN: But… it’s impossible for a person to tear their own head off! I mean, physically impossible! And how can someone crucify themselves, for that matter? How could they nail their last hand down? GREEN LANTERN (FORMS GIANT STOPWATCH WITH RING): And… begin! (BATMAN INSTANTLY LEAPS INTO THE SHADOWS AND EMERGES WITH A SPECIALLY PREPARED BAT-CRUCIFIX. LEANING IT AGAINST THE WALL, HE JUMPS INTO PLACE AND PRODUCES THREE HUGE IRON NAILS AND A BALL-PEEN HAMMER FROM HIS UTILITY BELT. TEETH GRITTED IN AGONY, HE DRIVES ONE NAIL STRAIGHT THROUGH BOTH FEET, THEN HAMMERS HIS LEFT HAND DOWN.) BATMAN: …HRNH! …HGHHH! …_NNGGHHGHH!!!_ (WITH INHUMAN DEXTERITY, HE DROPS THE HAMMER WHILE HANGING ONTO THE FINAL NAIL, ITS POINT FIRMLY PRESSED INTO HIS RIGHT PALM. BY SHIFTING HIS CENTER OF GRAVITY, HE ROCKS HIMSELF MADLY BACK AND FORTH, UNTIL THE CRUCIFIX FINALLY PITCHES FORWARD, CRASHING TO THE FLOOR… THE FORCE OF THE IMPACT DRIVING THE FINAL NAIL HOME!) SUPERMAN (WHO HAS NOT MOVED AT ALL): Oh, well… I guess you win, then. (SHRUGS) GREEN ARROW: … …Wow. You really _are_ a dick! [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/36 "2011-01-04T17:49:42Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I like “Your post reads like Flowers for Algernon, pre-operation.” I think it was **RNATB**. It wasn’t, but I totally wish it had been. ---
**Author:** ![NineToTheSky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5a626/32.png) [@NineToTheSky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NineToTheSky)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/37 "2011-01-04T18:32:42Z")
The best location line I’ve seen is ‘On the level when inclined’, but I always forget whose it is. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/38 "2011-01-04T19:05:10Z")
> [@NineToTheSky](#): > > The best location line I’ve seen is ‘On the level when inclined’, but I always forget whose it is. First response that came to my head was **Inigo Montoya**. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/39 "2011-01-04T19:22:17Z")
I can’t find it, but I’m pretty sure it was **Vinyl Turnip**. Someone called someone else a cocksucker, got a mod reprimand for it, and **Vinyl Turnip** posted > [@](#): > > In fairness, he was sucking an actual cock at the time. Wonderfully immature and funny. I’ve stolen it a couple of time (altering as necessary). ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2011, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533/40 "2011-01-05T04:21:41Z")
I think of this often when people post endless complaints in ATMB: [QUOTE=Revtim] perhaps this whole internet thing just isn’t for you. [/QUOTE] I’m not sure who said it first. It seems to be a common meme. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-doper-quote-you-wish-you-had-said/564533.md?page=3)