# Best "edited for TV lines"
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [November 26, 2016, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036 "2016-11-26T13:36:17Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)
#### Post date: [November 27, 2016, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/21 "2016-11-27T01:16:04Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#):
>
> When Blazing Saddles first came to TV, the cacophony of farts in the bean eating scene was dubbed with frantic horses whinnying.
Frau Blucher must have been lurking in the darkness.
---
### Author:  [@breezman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/breezman)
#### Post date: [November 27, 2016, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/22 "2016-11-27T03:54:22Z")
I’ve read that the “squeal like a pig” line from Deliverance was an improvised line that could be used in a TV-edited version of the film, but the director liked it better and decided to use it in the actual movie.
[Source.](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068473/trivia?item=tr1796999)
---
### Author:  [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)
#### Post date: [November 27, 2016, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/23 "2016-11-27T04:17:24Z")
The first time _Eddie and the Cruisers_ appeared of TV, you couldn’t say “hell,” or at least couldn’t say it in the time slot when the movie was shown. Now, if you haven’t seen _Eddie and the Cruisers_, it’s about a band who had an album called _A Season in Hell_, which got mentioned over and over again. In the edited version, they just blanked out the word “hell,” without replacing it with anything (like, I don’t know, “a season in Hades”? just, **something** ). So every time the mentioned the title, it was “A season in [silence].” The silence lasted exactly as long as it took the character to mouth the word “hell.”
It was annoying.
---
### Author:  [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)
#### Post date: [November 27, 2016, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/24 "2016-11-27T07:43:07Z")
The first time I saw the movie Hart’s War (Bruce Willis, Colin Ferrell, WWII movie with plot holes a Sherman could be driven through) was the edited for television version. While most of the movie is horrible there was a scene I found somewhat dramatic and moving. The America P.O.W.s were tossing loaves of bread to their Soviet counterparts who were being treated far less humanely. The Germans guards stop this by shooting the hand of the guy doing the throwing. The leader of the Americans played by Bruce Willis picks up the fallen loaf of bread, utters the censored line “Feed them,” (implying that he was directing his second in command that if the Germans shot him dead, the Americans were to continue aiding the Soviet P.O.W.s) and then heroically throws the bread over to their Soviets. I was very disappointed upon viewing the uncensored version of the movie that his actual line was “Fuck them.”
---
### Author:  [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)
#### Post date: [November 27, 2016, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/25 "2016-11-27T08:36:05Z")
_Robin Hood: Men in Tights:_
Original line:
Prince John: Such an unusual name, “Latrine.” How did your family come by it?
Latrine: We changed it in the 9th century.
Prince John: You mean you changed it TO “Latrine”?
Latrine: Yeah. Used to be “Shithouse.”
Prince John: It’s a good change. That’s a good change!
The edited line removes Latrine’s last sentence, making the joke completely incomprehensible.
---
### Author:  [@Mavic\_Chen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mavic_Chen)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2016, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/26 "2016-11-28T16:18:17Z")
In the UK Die Hard became “yippee kai eh Kimosabe”
---
### Author:  [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2016, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/27 "2016-11-28T16:44:22Z")
When the Blues Brothers was shown on TV, there was all kinds of swearing dubbed over, but that’s not the change that stuck with me. It was during the period when the (ironically Mafia-backed) Italian American Anti-Defamation League was putting pressure on the media not to use the word Mafia, claiming it was an ethnic slur. Consequently, when Jake and Elwood retreat backstage at their concert and Jake says, “My god, the _Mafia’s_ out there!” it’s clumsily dubbed to “My god, the Mob’s out there!”
---
### Author:  [@Made\_in\_Macau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Made_in_Macau)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2016, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/28 "2016-11-29T20:07:15Z")
Midnight Run. De Niro says to Grodin - ‘I’ve got only two words to say to you - shut the fuck up!’
On British TV this became ‘I’ve only got two words to say to you - shut up!’, entirely negating the joke.
MiM
---
### Author:  [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2016, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/29 "2016-11-29T20:36:16Z")
My family used to laugh about these all the time. Some that I still remember:
**Caddyshack** ; Original: “Hey everybody! We’re all going to get laid!” TV: “Hey everybody! We’re all going to take a shower!”
**Weird Science** : Original: “But first, let me…butter yer muffin.” TV: “But first, let me…better know ya, muffin!”
**Sixteen Candles** : Original: “No more yankee my wankee - the Donger needs food!” TV: “No more Yankee rum drinkee!”
**Smokey and the Bandit** : making this one extra great was that the guy they got to dub Jackie Gleason’s lines sounded absolutely nothing like him, so every time he said “sumbitch” the sound dropped out and a much deeper bad southern voice said “scum bum”
But our all-time favorite is **Casino** when it aired on USA Network. They very lazily changed every “fuck” to “freak.” Every single one. All _Four Hundred and Thirty-Five_ of them. It’s actually surreal, hearing Sharon Stone say “Freak you, you freaking motherfreaker!” Or DeNiro say “Oh Freak Yooou, **FREEEEAK YOOOOOUUU!** ”
---
### Author:  [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2016, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/30 "2016-11-29T20:46:38Z")
Frank Caliendo’s take on [replacement words](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgCKz2elwlo).
---
### Author:  [@Toxgoddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxgoddess)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2016, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/31 "2016-11-29T20:51:51Z")
> [@Ponch8](#):
>
> In\* Major League\*, Roger Dorn tells Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn, “strike this motherfucker out.” In some edits I’ve seen on TV, it becomes “strike this…guy…out.” Note the long pauses. To top it off, whoever said the word guy had a much lower voice than Dorn.
I came in here to mention this. In addition to the voice mismatch, Roger was being very emphatic in his speech, overemphasizing each syllable, making it incredibly obvious by watching his lips what he was saying. The dubbing was so bad that we wondered if it was done on purpose, as a middle finger to the network, or a way to highlight instead of hide what he was really saying.
It was actually hilarious in its own right.
---
### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2016, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/32 "2016-11-29T21:05:55Z")
> [@terentii](#):
>
> When _ **The Sopranos** _ went from HBO to A&E (I think), every “Cocksucker!” became “Bloodsucker!” and every “Fuck you!” became “Forget you!”
>
> The first time they aired _ **Blazing Saddles** _ on TV, Lili von Shtupp became “Lili von Shhhhhhhhh…” I’m sure just about every other line was cut as well, but that’s the one I remember best. Oddly enough, Mel Brooks himself was reported to have cut a line that even he thought was too gross: When Lili asked Bart in the dark “Is it twue what they say about you people? \*\* [ZIP!]\*\* Oh, it’s twue! It’s **twue**!” Bart replied “I hate to tell you this, baby, but that’s my elbow you’re suckin’ on!”
“Shtupp” is Yiddish for “fuck”.
Did they edit the infamous “N word”?
---
### Author:  [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)
#### Post date: [November 29, 2016, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/33 "2016-11-29T21:16:17Z")
“The Breakfast Club” where Molly Ringwald is clearly saying “Fuck you” but it’s coming out “Shut up.”
Not TV but radio: the Dire Straits song “Money for Nothing” is now missing the “little faggot with the earring and the makeup” verse.
…and I just remembered Alanis Morisette’s “You Oughta Know” on the radio: “Are you thinking of me when you…_fghrrrr_.”
---
### Author:  [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2016, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/34 "2016-11-30T00:27:56Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#):
>
> “Shtupp” is Yiddish for “fuck”.
Thank you, Counselor. 🙂
> [@](#):
>
> Did they edit the infamous “N word”?
Don’t think so. At least, not very much. If they had, there wouldn’t have been much of a movie.
I think they left in “Kansas City faggots,” too.
“Jerking off” and “asshole” were definitely cut.
So much was cut, in fact, they had to insert a scene I’d never seen before to make it last at least two hours, even with commercials: Bart and the Kid encounter a bunch of Baptists while they’re running from the Klansmen and use them to duck into the river.
---
### Author:  [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2016, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/35 "2016-11-30T00:47:41Z")
Actually, “shtup” is more like Yiddish for “nail” or “boff.” It’s not quite as offensive as “fuck.” No one would ever say “fuck” in front of a child back when I was a child, and they would say “shtup.” (Not _to_ children, just let it slip in adult conversations when children were present.) The worst Yiddish word imaginable was apparently “shmuck,” which people didn’t say in front of children, and which children got their mouths washed out with soap (or at any rate, that was the threat) for saying “shmuck.”\*
Actually, there was a word for “girl parts” that I never even heard until I was a teenager that maybe was even worse. I’m really not sure.
\*My mother only actually washed my mouth out with soap once. She got a small amount of soap on a damp rag and wiped my mouth out with it. It wasn’t for any particular word, though. It was for saying something unkind, of which I am now very ashamed, and I think I deserved the punishment. I was also grounded for the rest of the day. I was eight or nine and knew better.
---
### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2016, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/36 "2016-11-30T01:34:02Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#):
>
> Actually, “shtup” is more like Yiddish for “nail” or “boff.”
Mrs. Plant (v.2.0) told me that. I converted to marry her. Was it all in vain? :eek:
---
### Author:  [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2016, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/37 "2016-11-30T01:51:32Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#):
>
> Actually, “shtup” is more like Yiddish for “nail” or “boff.” It’s not quite as offensive as “fuck.”
In one interview (for _ **Playboy** _, I think), Mel Brooks said (jokingly, I’m sure) that at one point he considered calling \*\*\*Blazing \*\*\*_ **Saddles** _ “\*\*\*She \*\*\*\*\*\*Shtupps \*\*\*_ **to Conquer** _.”
---
### Author:  [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2016, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/38 "2016-11-30T16:48:41Z")
> [@Nonsuch](#):
>
> When the Blues Brothers was shown on TV, there was all kinds of swearing dubbed over, but that’s not the change that stuck with me. It was during the period when the (ironically Mafia-backed) Italian American Anti-Defamation League was putting pressure on the media not to use the word Mafia, claiming it was an ethnic slur. Consequently, when Jake and Elwood retreat backstage at their concert and Jake says, “My god, the _Mafia’s_ out there!” it’s clumsily dubbed to “My god, the Mob’s out there!”
The one that irks me most from the Blue Brothers is Charles Napier’s best line: “yer gonna look pretty damn funny eating corn on the cob…with no fuckin’ teeth !” gets hacked to “yer gonna look pretty … funny eating corn” WTF ???
---
### Author:  [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)
#### Post date: [December 1, 2016, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/39 "2016-12-01T04:22:47Z")
> [@Terminus\_Est](#):
>
> “I’ve had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!” - This is arguably better than the original line.
If you had not beaten me to it (by quite a long margin) this would have been mine.
I also “like” the way Ghostbusters changes from calling Peck dickless to some nonsense about a weasel.
---
### Author:  [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)
#### Post date: [December 1, 2016, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036/40 "2016-12-01T05:12:09Z")
> [@cormac262](#):
>
> The one that irks me most from the Blue Brothers is Charles Napier’s best line: “yer gonna look pretty damn funny eating corn on the cob…with no fuckin’ teeth !” gets hacked to “yer gonna look pretty … funny eating corn” WTF ???
The one that bugs me the most is them completely cutting out the phrase “Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ.” I mean…it makes that scene. It’s my favorite line in the movie.
They also cut out the word “shit” in the “You’re really up shit creek” line with the nun. It’s, “You’re really up a creek.” And they change the “Christ” to “God.” The nun-ruler-desk-slap scene doesn’t work if you change all of the swear words.
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036.md?page=1)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-edited-for-tv-lines/773036.md?page=3)