# Best euphimism for sex?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-euphimism-for-sex/67526>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [June 4, 2001, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-euphimism-for-sex/67526 "2001-06-04T15:08:41Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![missdavis102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@missdavis102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missdavis102)\
**Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-euphimism-for-sex/67526/41 "2001-06-05T16:29:19Z")

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My gentleman friend insists on calling it “making love”, which I personally find ridiculous. I would much rather just fuck, have sex, or go for a roll in the hay.

To my mind, though, the best euphemisms invovle the good old gerund phrase, particularly if there is absolutely no sexual connotation in ordinary usage. F’rinstance:  
Playing the piano  
Visiting the city  
Checking each other for ticks - that is fabulous and I WILL use it!  
Washing up the dishes  
Counting the spare change  
Hiking the nature trails  
Having tea

(Of course, knowledge of this makes all my gerund phrases suspect, and amongst those in the know, causes eyebrows to be raised.)

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**Author:** ![DougC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)\
**Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-euphimism-for-sex/67526/42 "2001-06-05T16:45:03Z")

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- 
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    - “Taming the musky weasel” - MC

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**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\
**Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-euphimism-for-sex/67526/43 "2001-06-05T16:48:23Z")

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My boyfriend and I call it the “forbidden monkey dance” or simply “sexin’” - as in, “Woo, I’m tired from all that sexin’ last night”. Hee hee. Sexin’.

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**Author:** ![shell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@shell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shell)\
**Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-euphimism-for-sex/67526/44 "2001-06-05T17:03:54Z")

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Doing the posturpedic polka or the mattress mambo or the horizontal bop. Guess dancing really does lead to sex.

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**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\
**Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-euphimism-for-sex/67526/45 "2001-06-05T17:24:52Z")

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My ex and I used to say we were going to go take a nap.

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**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\
**Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-euphimism-for-sex/67526/46 "2001-06-05T17:59:08Z")

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Last year I was in a single dorm next to another single dorm occupied by a friend of mine. One night she and her “boyfriend” came home really late and **really** drunk. At some point during the night her ass of a boyfriend wet the bed. The next day she informed me of this and said she was gonna force him to change and clean the bedding.

Late that night I hear the all-too-familiar bump-bump-squeek-squeek through the wall. I call their room to inform them that the whole hall can hear them, and her half-assed excuse was that they were “changing the sheets.” :rolleyes:

Thus a euphemism was born.

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