# Best Ever Eurovison Song Contest Campness!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [May 27, 2002, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050 "2002-05-27T14:49:32Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2002, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/1 "2002-05-27T14:49:32Z")
The Campest Show on Earth came to a new high this year!
The Slovenian entry was a drag act!
Oh yes,
three large men in sparkling red air hostess (i don’t think “cabin crew” is really in the spirit of the thing) costumes, with 3 backing singers, dressed in white Top Gun costumes.
Spectacular.
But there was more!
The winning Latvian entry had a woman in a fedora and pinstriped suit singing a latin number and dancing a tango with another woman.
The singer then stripped to reveal a low-cut red dress.
Yet again, Fantastic!
The FYR Macedonia had a woman in a lovely, formal, full-skirted evening dress whip it off to reveal a vast skirt made of red netting…and a gold Xena style breast plate…with VERY large breasts.
Bravo!
Also, the Cypriots had boys in leather, the Greeks had Borg style outfits, and the Maltese woman wore a cream lace catsuit
Life doesn’t get better than this!
Really!
It hasn’t been this much fun since Dana Internationale won…there’s nothing like an Isreali transsexual to give the proceedings an air of class.
To all those who have no idea what I’m talking about, it’s a big event where all the countries in Europe send in an act to represent them. They then vote for the best song, and that country hosts the contest the next year. It’s watched by millions, with millions voting by telephone for the winner.
Voting is either totally random, or along national lines of allegiance. Latvia votes for Estonia, Greece for Cyprus, Norway for Finnland, Russia for Romania etc etc.
It gave the world ABBA, and Riverdance was originally an interval act for an Irish-hosted contest.
You don’t know what you’re missing!
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2002, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/2 "2002-05-27T14:58:48Z")
I tried to keep awake. I tried. But to no avail.
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### Author:  [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/3 "2002-05-27T15:02:55Z")
I would have loved to have seen this year, but I am still in shock at the disgrace of my countries relegation from the event.
I think we had better start preparing for next year.
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### Author:  [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2002, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/4 "2002-05-27T15:05:05Z")
I didn’t like this year’s show. I thought every nation – with Greece’s exception – had plumped for a slick, chart-friendly song that wouldn’t have been out of place anywhere. There wasn’t really anything unusual or odd. Even the Slovenian drag act was a bit _passe_ after Dana International a few years back.
Hope it’s better next year.
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### Author:  [@Anahita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anahita)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2002, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/5 "2002-05-27T15:23:39Z")
**Crusoe** , are you saying you _left_ the fest to go watch the Eurovision Song Contest?
:alerts the authorities:
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### Author:  [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2002, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/6 "2002-05-27T15:33:00Z")
Aye. The previous night’s revelries resulted in me hosting a Eurovision dinner party (it’s a tradition with my uni mates). The timing could have been better.
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### Author:  [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2002, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/7 "2002-05-27T19:47:57Z")
We had it on in the pub in Dundalk for awhile, and then we decided to watch a St Pauli video instead. The songs were much better.
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### Author:  [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2002, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/8 "2002-05-27T20:12:54Z")
Sagapo, S-A-G-A-P-O… Surely next summer’s greatest dance club hit in Europe, if merely for the interstellar amount of tackiness. 🙂
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### Author:  [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2002, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/9 "2002-05-27T20:37:28Z")
Fella bilong missus flodnak and I were trying to figure something out: was [the singer from Malta](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/020524/170/1lj0c.html), she of the lace catsuit, actually wearing any underwear?
Unfortunately I could only find a waist-up shot. The world may never know.
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### Author:  [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2002, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/10 "2002-05-27T20:54:38Z")
What is this ‘Eurovision Song Contest’? I’ve heard of it before, and am intrigued.
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### Author:  [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2002, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/11 "2002-05-28T09:50:26Z")
First, “Eurovision”: this is a union of European public service television broadcasters. They often work together to televise major sporting events, concerts, etc. Originally this was primarily for Western European nations, but in recent years former Eastern Bloc nations have joined up.
Then there’s the Song Contest. It used to be that every member country participated every year; now there are rules to rotate participation to keep the show from growing to an all-day extravaganza. Either way: each broadcaster from a country that will be present at the contest, holds its own national competition to choose the song that will represent the country. It has to be an original song, and the songwriter(s) has to be a citizen of the country he or she is representing. The winners meet one Saturday evening in May, at a final hosted by last year’s winner. The songs are performed for a live television broadcast in all of the Eurovision member nations. When everyone has had their chance, viewers in participating nations have a chance to call and vote for their favorites. Each country must also have a “professional” jury on hand - it used to be that the juries did all the voting, I’m not sure exactly how the two are combined now. In any case, when the voting is over, each jury is contacted one at a time by telephone and announce their results live on the air. The song that gets the most votes gets 12 points, the next gets 10 points, and so on according to a rather non-intuitive schedule, down to 1 point. They can’t vote for their own country’s song. (Not every country awards points to every participant, so it can and does happen that a song gets 0 points total.) The country with the highest total wins.
But that explanation doesn’t really do it justice. Think bad, overblown sets. Think hosts that look like they’re on powerful mind-control drugs, woodenly reading bad scripts, slowly realizing that this job is the kiss of death for their careers. Think bland, forgettable, occasionally horrible songs. Unbelievable costumes and overdone production. And in between, blatant self-promotion by the host country. And yet it still draws a more than respectable audience share every year. It’s the television event everybody loves to hate.
ABBA won it in '94 with “Waterloo” - one of very few times when the contest has actually helped an artist’s career internationally. But think of this: at that time, the rules said that each song had to be in one of the official languages of the nations it represented. So ABBA won by _singing “Waterloo” in Swedish_. And the question is: was it better, or worse, that way?
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### Author:  [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2002, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/12 "2002-05-28T11:04:38Z")
I can’t believe Merkins haven’t heard of Eurovision before!
Eurovision has a long and proud histroy down here in Australia. This Sunday, a friend of mine hosted her traditional Eurovision party. We all rocked up in our most tacky clothing (porn sunglasss are SO in!) Mixed the appropriately tacky cocktails and settled down to watch all three hours of this television extravanganza. Take five and six Vodka Firetrucks and a potent cheese fondue and one soon realises that Eurovision is just faaaabulous, dahling!
I don’t specifically remember many of the ‘acts’, but I’m sure they were all just super! And to top off a perfect night of glamour and excitement, the broadcast of Eurovision was followed up with a special on Bjorn Again! (A tribute to the “world’s most successful ABBA tribute band”! _Yes_!) I think I caught at least 15 minutes of that before I slipped into blissful slumber (and slipped off the couch), my dreams running over with whispers of sweet, sweet Europop…
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### Author:  [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2002, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/13 "2002-05-28T11:07:22Z")
Oh, **flodnak** , I believe ABBA won Eurovision in 19 **74**. 🙂
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### Author:  [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2002, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/14 "2002-05-28T11:22:58Z")
I swear that was a 7 when I hit it.
(When all else fails, blame the keyboard.)
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### Author:  [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2002, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/15 "2002-05-28T11:24:04Z")
I never thought I’d see an Australian and a Norwegian re-enacting the battle of Waterloo. Amazing.
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### Author:  [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2002, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/16 "2002-05-28T11:25:21Z")
Celiene Dion won the compitetion for Switzerland in the late 80’s.
Thank you, Eurovision.
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### Author:  [@Re\_PT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Re_PT)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2002, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/17 "2002-05-28T11:25:30Z")
We had a Eurovision party - nothing like a few drinks to make the contest that much more enjoyable.
We were also of the opinion that the host presenters song was the best - if only it had been entered.
And we also doubted that the Maltese lady had underwear on…
…as for the out of tune Greek entry - 80’s flashback!
PT
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### Author:  [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2002, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/18 "2002-05-28T11:31:04Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by flodnak \*
> ABBA won it in '94 with “Waterloo” - one of very few times when the contest has actually helped an artist’s career internationally. But think of this: at that time, the rules said that each song had to be in one of the official languages of the nations it represented. So ABBA won by _singing “Waterloo” in Swedish_. And the question is: was it better, or worse, that way?
Oh controversial ! I’m going to stick my neck out and say _I think_ they sang Waterloo in Swedish in '74 but failed miserably earlier (the year earlier, maybe ?) when they did sing in Swedish.
I better slip off now, even holding this opinion is uncomfortably embarrassing.
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### Author:  [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2002, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/19 "2002-05-28T11:32:40Z")
Damn, I meant to say; “I _think_ they sang it in English in '74”
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### Author:  [@sirjamesp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirjamesp)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2002, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-eurovison-song-contest-campness/111050/20 "2002-05-28T11:57:41Z")
Hell, I _love_ Eurovision - it truly is the most hilarious show on the telly. The only proper place to watch it, though, is the UK - the voiceover is provided by Terry Wogan, who happily takes the piss out of not only the singers, but anyone daft enough to get caught in front of the camera.
Seeing it in Germany is almost as good - the voiceover seems to take everything very seriously, in the style of a (BBC) Radio 4 presenter. I don’t know what the guy’s name is, but he cracked me up at the end of the Latvian entry. Following the slow undressing of the singer, and the final florish where her short skirt turned into a kind of long sexy dress thing, the announcer said, _with no apparant irony_, “Oh, what a lovely surprise.”
Think of this guy as Alan Partridge combined with John Humphries, and combine this with the fact that the high-camp, god-awful singing and dancing _defies_ all sensibility, and you will understand why I was laughing myself silly.
Well done that man for making my night. But I am afraid he is nothing against the God that is Terry Wogan.
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