# Best Ever Simpson Moment/Quote **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 27, 2002, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135 "2002-10-27T18:33:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cainxinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@cainxinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cainxinth)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/21 "2002-10-28T02:10:41Z")
The moment that had me laughing so hard that I thought I would explode a lung was the Boy Scouts episode. I apologize If I butcher this: Bart is watching Itchy and Scratchy with Homer. Itchy ties Scratchy up in a knot, to which Bart replies with his newfound scouting knowllege that such a knot would never hold. Homer replies that its TV where anything is possible…just as a second Homer casually walks by the window. That was too damn funny. ---
**Author:** ![J\_Sin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/aca169/32.png) [@J\_Sin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J_Sin)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/22 "2002-10-28T02:42:56Z")
Alright I’ve only seen this like twice but here goes, the scene starts out with Homer praying to God and then Marge walks in: Marge- Homer thats not god thats a pancake stuck to the ceiling_prys pancake of ceiling_ Homer- Lord I know I shouldnt eat thee but…_eats pancake_ mmmmm…sacrilicious. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/23 "2002-10-28T02:56:21Z")
Bart: _There’s your answer, fishbulb!_ (after watching the Mr. Sparkle advertisement, which is great in and of itself). Also: Sexy man trying to seduce Marge: I want to take you out… to brunch. Marge: Hm, what’s that? SMTTSM: I think you’ll like it. It’s a little like breakfast, a little like lunch, and comes with a slice of canteloupe at the end. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/24 "2002-10-28T03:00:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homer J \* > **There are so many funny Simpsons moments, but everyone most have a favourite one, or possible three, so hit me back and tell me what you think are the funniest , 😃 most topical, or downright mad** To avoid duplicating anyone else’s efforts, I usually read to the end of a thread before responding. In this case, I’ll make an exception and reply first, then see if anyone agrees with me. (Quotes not necessarily verbatim) 1. Moe: “Who knew Maya Angelou was black?” 2. Bart: “Actually, I’m quite familiar with the poetry of Pablo Neruda.” 3. Lisa: “But Dad! Bacon, ham, and pork chops all come from the SAME animal!” ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/25 "2002-10-28T04:14:35Z")
“Ooh, they have the internet on computers now!” (Homer, of course) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/26 "2002-10-28T04:42:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Super Gnat \* > \*\*When Homer joins the Navy Reserves and takes the sub to Russia… > “He’s heading for the Soviet Union!” “No, it’s Russia now.” “That’s what you think!” The Russian UN guy presses a button and the card that says Russia switches to a card that says USSR. Floats in a Russian parade have tanks coming out of them. Lenin smashes out of his glass case and wanders around like a mummy: “Must… crush… capitalism” Good stuff. > > That episode also had the “In the Navy” song, which is another favorite moment \*\* I’m going to second that. That’s my favorite episode. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/27 "2002-10-28T04:50:20Z")
When Homer loses the Best New Artist Grammy to Dexy’s Midnight Runners: “You haven’t heard the last of them!” ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/28 "2002-10-28T05:51:02Z")
Marge: “We leave you at home with the kids for three hours and the county takes them away?” Grandpa: “Bitch, bitch, bitch.” ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/29 "2002-10-28T06:37:30Z")
Homer “…alcohol- the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.” ---
**Author:** ![Shabadu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@Shabadu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shabadu)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/30 "2002-10-28T06:59:56Z")
It is hard to narrow it down to a moment, especially when I love every moment of the Cape Feare episode. I would have to say: Sideshow Bob: “No it’s German. The Bart The.” Woman in the courtroom: “No one who speaks German could ever be bad.” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/31 "2002-10-28T08:23:08Z")
Lisa [upset about the talking Malibu Stacy doll]: Change what she says. It’s your company. Stacy Lavelle, creator of Malibu Stacy: Not since I was forced out in 1974. They said my way of thinking just wasn’t cost effective. Lisa: [gasps] That’s awful. Stacy: Well, that, and I was funneling profits to the Viet Cong. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/32 "2002-10-28T13:28:18Z")
Wow, is there some sort of secret SDMB requirement for a Simpson’s quote thread at least once per month? Well, I will add my sig for now. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/33 "2002-10-28T13:33:46Z")
Troy McClure: \*\* But for that ending to work, you’d have to ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence. And that would be downright nutty. \*\* I laughed louder and longer at that line than any other Simpsons live ever! ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/34 "2002-10-28T13:56:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JohnT \* > \*\*When Homer loses the Best New Artist Grammy to Dexy’s Midnight Runners: > > “You haven’t heard the last of them!” \*\* Actually I think they beat Dexy’s Midnight Runners and won the Grammy. Knowing things about TV does not make me feel smart. This thread is appropriate with the new season beginning this Sunday. “There is no air in space!” “But there’s an Air & Space Museum!” ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/35 "2002-10-28T14:32:53Z")
Yeah, you’re right **Lost4Life**. I could’ve checked in my Simpsons book but that would’ve been cheating. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/36 "2002-10-28T14:53:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus \* > \*\*Moving this to Cafe Society where it will join at least 100 other threads about this same subject. \*\* Gosh **Euty** , this doesn’t even come CLOSE to a Simpsons’ quote. Please read the OP before hijacking it with unnecessary non-Simpsons comments. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/37 "2002-10-28T14:55:56Z")
“Marge, if you’re a cop, that makes you “The Man.” And if you’re “The Man,” that makes me the woman - and I’ll have to wear your underwear (which as I’ve said before, is strictly a comfort thing).” Or words to that effect. You’d be suprised how often this quote gets thrown around at my house. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/38 "2002-10-28T15:02:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elf6c \* > **Wow, is there some sort of secret SDMB requirement for a Simpson’s quote thread at least once per month?** Very probably. “…he’s about to hit a chesnut tree – ah!” ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/39 "2002-10-28T15:49:43Z")
Well then, when in rome. . . > [@](#): > > Lionel Hutz: Now, Mrs. Simpson, tell the court in your own words what happened after you and your husband were ejected out of the restaurant. > Marge: Well, we pretty much went straight home. > Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, remember that you are under oath. > Marge: We drove around until three in the morning looking for another open all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant. > Lionel Hutz: And when you couldn’t find one? > Marge: [crying] We…went…fishing! > Lionel Hutz: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do these sound like the actions of a man whose had ALL he could eat? > [the jury is made up of fat, obese people] > Jury: No, no. > Jury Man: No, that couldn’t 've been me! ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135/40 "2002-10-28T17:00:21Z")
Mexican Millhouse - “Once again I must sugar my own churro” Smithers - “I don’t think women and seamen mix” Burns (angrily) - “Yes, we all know what you think!” Lisa (I’m paraphrasing) - “You know the story of Oedipus. It’s where he kills his father and marries his mother” Homer - “uggh. Who pays for that wedding?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-ever-simpson-moment-quote/134135.md?page=3)