# Best Excuse to Get Out of A Speeding Ticket **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 16, 2000, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482 "2000-11-16T17:01:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Wildest\_Bill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Wildest\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wildest_Bill)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/1 "2000-11-16T17:01:42Z")
This friend of mine carrys a roll of toolet paper with him to show the cop. And then tells the copy he is fixing to go in his pants. I don’t know but it worked. I thought of one along the same line of not pulling over until you get to a gas station and run staight for the toilet. So even if he give ya ticket, the jury might feel sorry for you and you will get out anyway. Who else out there has a good one for us that “feel the need for speed” but hate our insurance going up? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tit\_Whistle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@Tit\_Whistle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tit_Whistle)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/2 "2000-11-16T19:32:12Z")
I always keep a pregnant woman in labor in my back seat and then I tell the cop I have to get her to the hospital. Only the mean ones give me tickets. ---
**Author:** ![Suo\_Na](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Suo\_Na](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suo_Na)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/3 "2000-11-16T21:07:09Z")
I have a friend whose mother’s car has a digital readout on the speedometer, that you can change from kph to mph. If he gets caught he just changes the display to mph, and blames it on his mother fiddling with buttons she doesn’t understand. ---
**Author:** ![Sapphire\_Bullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/96bed5/32.png) [@Sapphire\_Bullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapphire_Bullet)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/4 "2000-11-17T00:00:45Z")
I once got out of a ticket by hysterically talking in circles about a friend I had to go check on because noone had heard from her in a couple days. It was true, but I think the hysteria helped. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/5 "2000-11-17T00:51:56Z")
Ask for tickets to the local Police Man’s Ball. They often say ‘we don’t have Balls’ ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/6 "2000-11-17T01:42:22Z")
How about…I’m on my way to take the police officers exam and I’m late. ---
**Author:** ![tshirts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@tshirts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tshirts)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/7 "2000-11-17T02:15:12Z")
Not too good for speeding, but great for illegal turns or lane changes, or turning without signalling, etc. the standard excuse is **a bee in the car**. They can’t prove it, and it covers a lot of screwups. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/8 "2000-11-17T02:31:16Z")
Guy in my speech class gets out of tickets all the time because he’s a tae kwon do instructor and most of the cops have relatives in his class. He’s 17 and he’s a registered weapon, has a govt-issued card and everything. IT’s neat. Of course, there was the one time when his dome light was out and he accidentally handed the officer his “lethal weapon” card instead of his license. The officer was not amused by the implied threat. ---
**Author:** ![David\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@David\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_B)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/9 "2000-11-17T04:27:15Z")
A friend of mine wrote a series of articles on how to beat a speeding ticket. There are some pretty good suggestions of what to do (and what NOT to do) in there: It has nine parts, but here is the “index” link: [Master List for “Beat That Speeding Ticket!”](http://www.themestream.com/articles/213381.htm) ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/10 "2000-11-17T04:45:21Z")
A friend of mine once told a cop “I’m sorry I’m speeding, but I’m late for traffic court!” ---
**Author:** ![occ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@occ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/occ)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/11 "2000-11-17T04:50:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wildest Bill \* > \*\*This friend of mine carrys a roll of toolet paper with him to show the cop. And then tells the copy he is fixing to go in his pants. I don’t know but it worked. > > I thought of one along the same line of not pulling over until you get to a gas station and run staight for the toilet. So even if he give ya ticket, the jury might feel sorry for you and you will get out anyway. > > Who else out there has a good one for us that “feel the need for speed” but hate our insurance going up? 😃 \*\* I was watching one of those stupid late-night police-related shows (have no idea which one), and a cop told a “comic relief” story about how he pulled over a driver who pleaded with the cop to let him get to a bathroom, and he could then ticket him. The cop followed him to the bathroom, and when the guy came out the cop let him go without a ticket. So it just might work. ---
**Author:** ![occ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@occ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/occ)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/12 "2000-11-17T04:52:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by racinchikki \* > \*\*Guy in my speech class gets out of tickets all the time because he’s a tae kwon do instructor and most of the cops have relatives in his class. He’s 17 and he’s a registered weapon, has a govt-issued card and everything. IT’s neat. Of course, there was the one time when his dome light was out and he accidentally handed the officer his “lethal weapon” card instead of his license. The officer was not amused by the implied threat. \*\* Huh? You can be certified a “weapon”? What the hell is that about? I thought that was a lame James Bond/Steven Seagal gimmick… ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/13 "2000-11-17T05:02:02Z")
**occ** – yup. he’s a registered weapon. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/14 "2000-11-17T06:42:01Z")
I find that there are two sure ways to get out of a traffic ticket. The first way is ignore it. Wait until they send you a warrant…if they send you a warrant. If it looks serious, change your name, pack up and move states. This is the pansies way out though, and it takes too long. The second way is quick and efficient.[second suggestion deleted by slythe. Note to poster-this type of response would not even be appropriate in the BBQ Pit. Please do NOT go down this route again. Thank you.] [Edited by slythe on 11-17-2000 at 07:19 AM] ---
**Author:** ![messiah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3e96dc/32.png) [@messiah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/messiah)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/15 "2000-11-17T06:49:04Z")
“I was chasing the car in front who had dropped this 100 dollar bill, now that your’re here, how about I leave it with you oficer.” ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/16 "2000-11-17T08:40:36Z")
I win! I was pulled over after the cop saw me speeding, running a red light, and rolling through a stop sign. I told him that I had noticed that the lights on that street (Dwight Ave., Berserkely, CA) were timed so that at the speed limit you have to stop for almost the entire red light at every block, and that by going a little faster you don’t have to stop at all. About the red light I said “I guess it was getting kinda orange”. And (drum roll) about the stop sign; “Aw c’mon”. He let me off with a warning! ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/17 "2000-11-17T09:06:57Z")
On Nov. 7th (Election Day) a friend of mine had to go to a very important business meeting. He lives in Atlanta, the meeting was in North Carolina. He was traveling by car. He told me that he was _determined_ to go to this meeting, and still get back to Atlanta in time to vote. He was driving like a bat out of hell in South Carolina, and a State Trooper pulled him over, asking him what was the rush. My friend said that he had to get to a meeting, and still get back to Atlanta in time to vote for Bush. The trooper waved him on without giving him a ticket! ---
**Author:** ![SkinnyGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@SkinnyGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkinnyGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/18 "2000-11-17T11:36:47Z")
I know of one (1) guy in the Netherlands who drives too fast all the time AND has a fool-proof way of not getting speeding tickets. He always tells the cops: “I am the father of your current Queen.” In a couple of years (if the bastard lives) he will change this to: “I am the grandfather of your current King.” For some reason it only works for thim though. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/19 "2000-11-17T16:16:23Z")
“A friend of mine wrote a series of articles on how to beat a speeding ticket. There are some pretty good suggestions of what to do (and what NOT to do) in there” BEAT THAT TICKET, a book that is in almost every library & bookstore in america, has legal ways to beat a ticket. I think that site you showed has the info similar to the book. ---
**Author:** ![Wildest\_Bill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Wildest\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wildest_Bill)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2000, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482/20 "2000-11-17T16:34:20Z")
Thanks for the link. That was very interesting and informative. I am going to use that advice that dude gave. And thanks again for the link. Can you tell I am a speeder? 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-excuse-to-get-out-of-a-speeding-ticket/41482.md?page=2)