# Best First Lines in SF **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 5, 2000, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138 "2000-12-05T15:06:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/21 "2000-12-07T14:18:36Z")
_Good HEAVENS, is that your cock or are you carrying a zucchini around in your pants? Let’s go back to my place; it’s just a block over on Sutter!_ …hang on. Isn’t this the “Best First Lines in San Francisco” thread? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/22 "2000-12-07T14:39:20Z")
(These are from memory, so I may be off slightly) “Many years later, when he faced the firing squad, \ remembered the day his father took him to see the ice.” “… to wound the autumnal city.” “In ten years, the penis will be obsolete.” “I’m \, who was king for a time. King of the Fools, and that takes wisdom.” “I knew something was wrong when I woke up inside the coffin.” 🙂 “\ woke, cold.” “It was a pleasure to burn.” (easy) ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/23 "2000-12-07T15:19:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RealityChuck \* > **(These are from memory, so I may be off slightly)** “Many years later, when he faced the firing squad, \ remembered the day his father took him to see the ice.” “… to wound the autumnal city.” These two sound familiar “In ten years, the penis will be obsolete.” This _has_ to be Varley… “I’m \, who was king for a time. King of the Fools, and that takes wisdom.” You, sir, are a man of taste for picking this one: Davy by Pangborn Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/24 "2000-12-07T15:46:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RealityChuck \* > \*\*“It was a pleasure to burn.” (easy) \*\* And thus, I can’t leave it unanswered. Farenheit 451, Ray Bradbury, I’m 99% sure. ---
**Author:** ![Mars\_Horizon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mars_horizon/32/2804_2.png) [@Mars\_Horizon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mars_Horizon)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/25 "2000-12-07T16:12:21Z")
“It was the dawn of the third age of mankind…” J. Michael Straczynski **Babylon 5** ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/26 "2000-12-07T16:43:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dave99 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > “A screaming comes across the sky.” \*\* > > I’m just guessing, I’ve never read it but… > > “Gravity’s Rainbow” by Thomas Pynchon? > > I asked for it at a book store and pronounced the name ‘pine-khun’. The girl at the counter looked at me liked I was the dumbest shit-sack ever to crawl the earth. “The name is pin-shawn, and we don’t have it.” \*\* Yup, that’s it. What. She works in a bookstore that doesn’t even carry Pynchon? What the hell does she have to be so uppity about? ---
**Author:** ![rs0522](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a9a28c/32.png) [@rs0522](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rs0522)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/27 "2000-12-08T02:42:22Z")
> [@](#): > > There was a wall _The Dispossessed_ by Ursula LeGuin. One of the best novels of the 20th century. ---
**Author:** ![Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goose)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/28 "2000-12-08T03:03:09Z")
“Tonight we’re going to show you eight silent ways to kill a man.” ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/29 "2000-12-08T03:13:39Z")
What, nobody wants to guess at mine, or is it that obscure? _Hint:_ [sub]The author’s already been mentioned[/sub] Here it is again, if anybody’s interested: > [@](#): > > The sign on the wall seemed to quaver under a film of sliding warm water. \ felt his eyelids blink over his stare, and the sign burned in this momentary darkness: > \ ---
**Author:** ![Ankh\_Too](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Ankh\_Too](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ankh_Too)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/30 "2000-12-08T07:59:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\*Here’s one: > > “You see, I had this space suit.” \*\* Another **RAH**. Have Space Suit, Will Travel My lame attempt to stump the Dopers: \*"It was a dark and stormy night… Your suspension of disbelief has probably just bust a leaf-spring: how can you believe in a story that begins that way?"\* ---
**Author:** ![eulalia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eulalia/32/457_2.png) [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/31 "2000-12-08T09:03:07Z")
> [@](#): > > It was a dark and stormy night… > > Your suspension of disbelief has probably just bust a leaf-spring: how can you believe in a story that begins that way?" This sounds awfully familiar, but I just can’t place it. I suspect I will feel really stupid when I find out what it’s from. This hooked me on an author: **There is a similarity, if I may be permitted an excursion into tenuous metaphor, between the feel of a chilly breeze and the feel of a knife’s blade, as either is laid across the back of the neck. I can call up memories of both, if I work at it. The chilly breeze is invariably going to be the more pleasant memory. For instance…** ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/32 "2000-12-08T13:21:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ankh\_Too \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > > \*\*Here’s one: > > > > “You see, I had this space suit.” \*\* > > Another **RAH**. Have Space Suit, Will Travel > > My lame attempt to stump the Dopers: > > \*"It was a dark and stormy night… > > Your suspension of disbelief has probably just bust a leaf-spring: how can you believe in a story that begins that way?"\* \*\* Isn’t this a Spider Robinson story…maybe Time Pressure? Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Danimal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Danimal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danimal)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/33 "2000-12-08T14:49:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Goose \* > \*\*“Tonight we’re going to show you eight silent ways to kill a man.” \*\* That one I remember. _The Forever War,_ by Joe Haldeman. As I recall the hero already knew eighty different ways to kill a man, but most of them were pretty noisy. ---
**Author:** ![Ankh\_Too](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Ankh\_Too](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ankh_Too)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/34 "2000-12-09T01:42:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\*Isn’t this a Spider Robinson story…maybe Time Pressure? > \*\* Yup ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/35 "2000-12-09T20:34:39Z")
“He was a hundred and seventy days dying and not yet dead.” “All this happened, more or less.” “His wife held him in her arms as though she could keep death away from him.” “Limp, the body of \ hung from the pink pallette; unsupported – hanging high above us in the computer chamber; and it did not shiver in the chill, oily breeze that blew eternally; through the main cavern.” “Martel was angry. He did not even ajust his blood away from anger.” “Pinlighting was a hell of a way to earn a living.” “I was polishing a brandy snifter when the Unmarried Mother came in.” “There’s a sweet little horror story that is only two sentences long: \*The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door . . . \*” ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/36 "2000-12-09T21:31:28Z")
The only one I know for sure without going to the shelf is the last one. > [@](#): > > "There’s a sweet little horror story that is only two sentences long: > The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door . . . " “Knock” by Fredric Brown. A couple of others are stirring vague recollections. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to try to uncover any right now. Hopefully some others good at this can save me the trouble of looking. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/37 "2000-12-09T21:47:24Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by RealityChuck \* > \*\* > “I was polishing a brandy snifter when the Unmarried Mother came in.”_\* The Unpleasant Profession of Johnathon Hoag, Robert Heinlein (and one of my favorite stories, ever) Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/38 "2000-12-09T22:10:40Z")
Myron, for some obscure reason, I, the SR compleatist, never saw “By Any Other Name” – but you have a most enjoyable read ahead of you in _Telempath_. And Fenris, a slight error in your last comment, although an understandable one: > [@](#): > > “I was polishing a brandy snifter when the Unmarried Mother came in.” - is not from the story “The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag” (which we seem to have taken on as an avocation over in Great Debates, by the way ;)), but from the story “‘All You Zombies…’” (that’s quotation marks around a title which begins and ends with quotation marks, if anyone’s confused), which was collected into the book **The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag**. For a new first line to identify. how about a gimme: “Once upon a time there was a Martian named Smith.” ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/39 "2000-12-09T22:49:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > \*\*Myron, for some obscure reason, I, the SR compleatist, never saw “By Any Other Name” – but you have a most enjoyable read ahead of you in _Telempath_. > > And Fenris, a slight error in your last comment, although an understandable one: > > > [@](#): > > > > “I was polishing a brandy snifter when the Unmarried Mother came in.” > > - is not from the story “The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag” (which we seem to have taken on as an avocation over in Great Debates, by the way ;)), but from the story “‘All You Zombies…’” (that’s quotation marks around a title which begins and ends with quotation marks, if anyone’s confused), which was collected into the book **The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag**. > > For a new first line to identify. how about a gimme: “Once upon a time there was a Martian named Smith.” \*\* AaAaAaaargh…again, I knew that. I give up. No more answering until after I stop working 14 hour days. I’m serious. No I’m not. Stranger in a Strange Land, Heinlein Fenris ---
**Author:** ![ellis555](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e36b37/32.png) [@ellis555](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ellis555)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138/40 "2000-12-09T23:46:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RealityChuck \* > **"Martel was angry. He did not even ajust his blood away from anger."** This is ticking me off. If I’m right, I can recall pretty much the entire plot, but neither the author nor the title. Martel is a member of a segment of society that undergoes surgery so that all their bodily functions are controlled by knobs and dials on their chests. They have to read lips. Every once in a while they can take some drug to become “normal” and taste the food they eat, etc. This is all so that they may man spaceships (or maybe just work in space, I can’t recall). I’m pretty sure I read it in an early Nebula. So please post the answer before I go insane. thanks -ellis [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-in-sf/44138.md?page=3)