# Best First Lines of Books **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 5, 2000, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927 "2000-04-05T19:38:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/21 "2000-04-06T21:56:00Z")
Well, thank you. I enjoyed it a great deal. * * * **Sesquipedalophobia** --fear of long words ---
**Author:** ![WillGolfForFood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/82dd89/32.png) [@WillGolfForFood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WillGolfForFood)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/22 "2000-04-06T21:59:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by spoke-: > Isn’t the line from **Moby Dick** “Call me Ishmael.” ? That’s what I always thought it was. The only reason I remember the phrase is because of an English teacher drilling into our little student heads that this was very significant, because the author never actually claimed that Ishmael was really his name. (I remember thinking that didn’t seem to me to be all that significant, but hey, I was an engineering student…) ---
**Author:** ![WillGolfForFood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/82dd89/32.png) [@WillGolfForFood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WillGolfForFood)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/23 "2000-04-07T23:00:00Z")
I can’t for ths life of me remember what the book was, but I’ll never forget the opening line “You know it’s going to be a bad day when you wake up face down in the pavement”. ---
**Author:** ![CheapBastid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CheapBastid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheapBastid)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/24 "2000-04-07T23:05:00Z")
The Edward Bulwar Lytton prize is awarded every year to the author of the worst possible opening line of a book. This has been so successful that Penguin now publishes five books’ worth of entries. Some recent winners: > [@](#): > > “Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor.” and a fav… > [@](#): > > "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the toad’s deception, screaming madly, “You lied!” ---
**Author:** ![Nightingale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@Nightingale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightingale)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/25 "2000-04-07T23:13:00Z")
“The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.” _The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger_, by Stephen King * * * “There are more things you don’t know than there are things that I do know. I despair of the imbalance.” – Dr. Morgenes, _The Dragonbone Chair_ ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/26 "2000-04-07T23:18:00Z")
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.” _Pride and Prejudice_ * * * Jodi _Fiat Justitia_ ---
**Author:** ![SINsApple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@SINsApple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SINsApple)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/27 "2000-04-07T23:45:00Z")
“I was not sorry when my brother died.” -Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga “Like the brief doomed flare of exploding suns that registers dimly on blind men’s eyes, the beginning of the horror passed almost unnoticed; in the shriek of what followed, in fact, was forgotten and perhaps not connected to the horror at all.” -The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty and I know this is the first line of a poem, but I think it counts anyway: “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked. . .” -“Howl” by Allen Ginsburg * * * Rather, I was in the position of a spore which, having finally accepted its destiny as a fungus, still wonders if it might produce penicillin. –Ayi Kwei Armah ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/28 "2000-04-08T01:24:00Z")
This is the firstt sentence, not the first line. . … Of man’s first disobedience, and the fruit Of that forbidden tree, whose mortal taste Brought death into the world, and all our woe, With loss of Eden, till one greater Man Restore us, and regain the blissful seat, Sing, Heavenly Muse, that on the secret top Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst inspire That sheperd who first taught the chosen seed In the beginning how the heavens and earth Rose out of Chaos: or, if Sion Hill Delight thee more, and Siloa’s brook that flowed Fast by the oracle of God, I thence Invoke thy aid to my adventersome song, That with no middle flight intends to soar Above the Aonian mount, while it pursues Things unattempted yet in prose or rhyme. –John Milton. _Paradise Lost_, I:1-16. I do not believe that God wrote the bible, but I am pretty damn sure that mortal man alone could not have composed this work. . .it gives me the shivers. Reality Chuck–the charecter in the first line of [1]One Hundred Years of Solitude \* (an awe inspiring work, itself) is Auriliano Buendia. Marquez has a gift for first lines: _Love in the Time of Cholera_ begins: “It was inevitable: the scent of bitter almonds always reminded him of the fate of unrequited love.” Of course, he has hantasic second, third and forth lines as well. I have noticed that for young writers, the problem lies more often in these. ---
**Author:** ![SingleDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SingleDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SingleDad)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/29 "2000-04-08T01:42:00Z")
“The summer my father bought the bear, none of us was born-we weren’t even conceived: not Frank, the oldest; not Franny, the loudest; not me, the next, and not the youngest of us, Lilly and Egg.” The Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving “The beet is the most intense of vegetables.” Jittberbug Perfume by Tom Robbins * * * Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. ---
**Author:** ![Diletante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Diletante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diletante)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/30 "2000-04-08T01:44:00Z")
Surprised this one hasn’t made it so far: “If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.” ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/31 "2000-04-08T02:26:00Z")
Ahhhhhhh…always good to see someone _else_ cite the Jim Crumley on these threads! Here’s a few of my favorites, in more-or-less chronological order: “At sunrise on a first of April, there appeared, suddenly as Manco Capac at the lake Titicaca, a man in cream-colors, at the waterside in the city of St. Louis.” –Herman Melville; THE CONFIDENCE-MAN “To judge by such family portraits as were preserved in the Chateau de Lourps, the race of the Floressas des Esseintes had been composed in olden days of stalwart veterans of the wars, grim knights with scowling visages.” – J.K. Huysmans; A REBOURS “‘You take the white omnibus in the Platz,’ murmured the Princess, ‘but do not forget to change into an ultramarine on reaching the Flower Market, or you will find youself in the “Abbatoirs.”’” – Ronald Firbank; THE ARTIFICIAL PRINCESS “I first heard Personville called Poisonville by a red-haired mucker named Hickey Dewey in the Big Ship in Butte.” – Dashiell Hammett; RED HARVEST “The captain never drank.” – Nelson Algren; THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN ARM * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![OrganicMatter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/898d66/32.png) [@OrganicMatter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OrganicMatter)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/32 "2000-04-08T02:38:00Z")
“Billy Pilgram came unstuck in time today.” K. Vonnegut - Slaughterhouse Five ---
**Author:** ![Liv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@Liv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liv)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2000, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/33 "2000-04-08T03:14:00Z")
“When I was little I used to think of ways to kill my daddy.” Kaye Gibbons, Ellen Foster ---
**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/34 "2000-04-07T03:37:00Z")
“What’s it going to be then, eh?” - _A Clockwork Orange_ - Anthony Burgess * * * “Organs gross me out. That’s _organs_, not orgasms.” -the wallster ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/35 "2000-04-07T03:48:00Z")
My favorite: > [@](#): > > No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the see, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontorie were, as well as if a manot of thy friends and thine were; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the Bell tolls… It tolls for thee. Man, that just kicks ass. Another that Kicks ass is this: > [@](#): > > One evening, Arthur Lewisham looked through the keyhole of the back bedroom of his house, and regretted it ever after. That is the best hook I have ever heard. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/36 "2000-04-07T03:48:00Z")
## “‘Tis a pity she’s a whore,’” the Marine said. “Don’t bet your ass or your pension on it,” the priest said. –_Fuzzy Bones_ Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99. _I just washed my cat. It’ll take me hours to get the hairs off my tongue._                                         --100% certified genuine **WallyM7™** sig ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/37 "2000-04-07T03:53:00Z")
Here are a couple of my favorites: “Sing in me, Muse, and through me tell the story of that man skilled in all ways of contending, the wanderer, harried for years on end, after he plundered the stronghold on the proud height of Troy.” _ **The Odyssey** _, of course…Great opener. “When I left my office that beautiful spring day, I had no idea what was in store for me.” _ **Where the Red Fern Grows** _. Every dog owner should read that. “It was a dark and stormy night.” Probably dozens of books start this way, but this one in particular is _ **A Wrinkle In Time** _. and maybe the best (and longest) of all: “No one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man’s and yet as mortal as his own; that as men busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinized and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinize the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water.” _ **The War Of The Worlds** _. * * * ## Joe Cool Full speed, right ahead Don’t stop, you can sleep when you’re dead ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/38 "2000-04-07T03:57:00Z")
While we’re getting epic, how about: Arma virumque cano troiae qui primus ab oris Italiam fato profugus Lavinaque venit litora Multa literis jactatus et alto Vi suprum saevae memorum junonis ab iram – Virgil, The Anead ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/39 "2000-04-07T04:32:00Z")
“Death drives an emerald green Lexus.” -Dragon Tears, Dean Koontz The rest isn’t literature, but that first line is cool. ---
**Author:** ![I.M.Kierkegaard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ea5d25/32.png) [@I.M.Kierkegaard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I.M.Kierkegaard)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927/40 "2000-04-07T15:06:00Z")
A couple of more I thought of… “Where’s Papa going with that ax?” said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast. – Charlotte’s Web “All happy families are alike, but an unhappy family is unhappy after its own fashion.” – Anna Karenina (Tolstoy) “Once when I was six years old I saw a magnificent picture in a book, called \* Stories From Nature, \* about the primeval forest.” – The Little Prince (de Saint Exupery) “It was a dark and stormy night.” – A Wrinkle in Time (not to mention all the times Snoopy used it, of course.) “I warn you that what you are about to read is full of loose ends and unanswered questions.” – Invasion of the Body Snatchers * * * –I am Soren Kierkegaard.– “People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-first-lines-of-books/15927.md?page=3)