# Best follow up to unanswered text or email, probably overlooked **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 30, 2016, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-follow-up-to-unanswered-text-or-email-probably-overlooked/767282 "2016-09-30T14:09:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-follow-up-to-unanswered-text-or-email-probably-overlooked/767282/1 "2016-09-30T14:09:03Z")
Sometimes I send a text or email to a friend and don’t get a response. Most of the time I’m about 98% sure they saw it, couldn’t respond in the moment, then other texts/emails/real life things happened and they forgot about it and it got pushed down in the message box. I don’t want to seem pushy, and if I suspect they are purposely avoiding me I will usually let it drop, but the times I’m thinking of they likely just need a little reminder. If nobody responds to my thread on the Straight Dope I’ll post “bump” to move it up on the page. Is there a text/email equivalent? How do you follow up? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-follow-up-to-unanswered-text-or-email-probably-overlooked/767282/2 "2016-09-30T14:12:32Z")
It depends on the message. If it’s: _Meet me at the coffee shot tomorrow around 7AM._ I’d probably follow up. If it’s: _Isn’t this the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?_ I probably would let it go. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-follow-up-to-unanswered-text-or-email-probably-overlooked/767282/3 "2016-09-30T15:30:20Z")
As above. If the topic is still relevant I’ll send a new message making no reference to the first. They either reply or they don’t. If not I try to contact them via another means. I also don’t bother people sending out useless “status” messages or forwarding “interesting” stuff. I communicate when I want an answer. And only when I want an answer. If you, any you, are frequently not getting replies, perhaps you should evaluate whether you look like a spammer, albeit a personally familiar spammer, to your targets. If you’re mostly spreading a blizzard of chaff you should not be surprised when other people fail to notice the occasional kernel of wheat hidden within. ---
**Author:** ![snoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@snoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snoe)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-follow-up-to-unanswered-text-or-email-probably-overlooked/767282/4 "2016-09-30T15:43:13Z")
How to follow up when you do want/need a reply? Reasonable options I can think of/have used are 1. Forward the original message to them, maybe with an added brief “Wonder if you saw this?” line at top. 2. Forward the original message, but with a new subject line and paraphrasing the original (“I sent you this Tuesday - don’t know if you saw it or had a chance to think about it, but I was wondering…” 3. Whole new message without quoting the prior one, but acknowledging its existence parenthetically within the new message, maybe as a PS. It’s hard to do gracefully without knowing whether your message was seen (as you know). I use option 1 in workplace environments where I am doing some CYA (like I want to make it clear I did actually message the person before a deadline, but otherwise want to keep it brief). Option 2 is general purpose - it seems the least passive-aggressive. Option 3 seems neediest to me, and I use it if I’m asking someone for something and therefore want to communicate my neediness - like asking for time off from work and need to buy that plane ticket. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-follow-up-to-unanswered-text-or-email-probably-overlooked/767282/5 "2016-09-30T16:00:58Z")
Send them another message from a different email address, and ask them to check their Spam Folder. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-follow-up-to-unanswered-text-or-email-probably-overlooked/767282/6 "2016-09-30T16:55:53Z")
I usually do a Reply All\* to my original email (so it sends it to them instead of only to me) and say something like “Just checking if you’ve had a chance to look into this yet.” I get these periodically myself and appreciative of the reminder, not bothered that they followed up. It acknowledges that you understand they are probably just busy, not ignoring you. \*I reply instead of forward because for some reason, an “Re:” at the beginning of the subject seems less pushy than “Fw:”. Maybe because replies represent the normal flow of conversation, while forwards are often used to escalate something to others.