# Best. Fortune. Cookie. Fortune. Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 9, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102 "2003-05-09T14:16:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![WhiteyFoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3e96dc/32.png) [@WhiteyFoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhiteyFoo)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/21 "2003-05-09T19:17:58Z")
My favorite is one I still keep in my walet next to the instructions on how to use a Pez dispenser (but I digress). “You are never bitter, deceptive, or petty” Man, did they miss the mark or what! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Composer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/898d66/32.png) [@The\_Composer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Composer)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/22 "2003-05-09T19:46:03Z")
**WhiteyFoo** - I have that same fortune taped to my monitor. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Composer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/898d66/32.png) [@The\_Composer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Composer)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/23 "2003-05-09T19:48:23Z")
Along with: [fortune cookie] You will always get what you want through your charm and personality. [/fortune cookie] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![NE\_Texan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e99b99/32.png) [@NE\_Texan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NE_Texan)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/24 "2003-05-09T21:28:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scout1222 \* > **NETexan** , did that really happen??? WOW!!! Absolutely. That’s the “romantic proposal story” we carry with us. … which, of course, gave me a good laugh when **NurseCarmen** and **MrMyth** said that they add “in bed” to the end of all the fortunes. (I hadn’t heard that before, but: “Accept the next proposal you hear.” “… in bed!”) ---
**Author:** ![angelabaca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@angelabaca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelabaca)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/25 "2003-05-09T21:50:48Z")
I have two taped to my monitor right now: > [@](#): > > _There are many new opportuinties that are being presented to you._ and: > [@](#): > > _Reconcile with an old friend. All has been forgotten._ You can open some cookies [here](http://www.angelfire.com/hi/EnchantedGoddess/fortunes.html) . Or, [make your own](http://www.clickthecookie.co.uk/fortune_cookie_recipe.htm) . Always fun at dinner parties. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingDragonFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c89c15/32.png) [@FlyingDragonFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingDragonFan)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/26 "2003-05-09T21:55:58Z")
> [@](#): > > A nice cake is waiting for you. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/27 "2003-05-09T22:08:30Z")
I’ve never had a fortune cookie (they don’t seem to exist over here), but if I did, I would want it to say “your cat’s breath smells of cat food” ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/28 "2003-05-09T22:09:28Z")
Anyone else often get cookies with 2 fortunes in 'em? My best one, EVER, was just recently at a restaurant I’d never been to before. First one: You are well-liked and valued by those around you. The second one: Do not believe all that you are told. . :o ---
**Author:** ![buckgully](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb9ed0/32.png) [@buckgully](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buckgully)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/29 "2003-05-09T22:58:43Z")
Hey! I got the op’s fortune on Tuesday. The one that’s taped to the lid of my laptop reads: “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing” And we’ve always added “under the covers” rather than “in bed”. Not really a big difference there. ---
**Author:** ![chattywine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5daacb/32.png) [@chattywine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chattywine)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/30 "2003-05-10T16:13:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iceman866 \* > \*\*Along with: > > [fortune cookie] > > You will always get what you want through your charm and personality. > > [/fortune cookie] > > 😃 \*\* Hey cool! I’ve been carrying that one around in my wallet for eons! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/31 "2003-05-10T17:14:04Z")
On Thursday night I got what that said: > [@](#): > > You could prosper in the field of wacky inventions. LC ---
**Author:** ![Ben\_Hicks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbce88/32.png) [@Ben\_Hicks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben_Hicks)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/32 "2003-05-10T17:25:34Z")
Duck…NOW!!! ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/33 "2003-05-10T17:25:35Z")
On an episode of Rock’s Modern Life, Filbert received a fortune, on numerous occasions, “Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic little soul for all eternity.” I’m still looking for that one. ---
**Author:** ![Kaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/fbc32d/32.png) [@Kaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaf)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/34 "2003-05-10T17:44:09Z")
Lunch yesterday was my best one ever… “You will bring great joy to someone today” … in bed. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/35 "2003-05-10T18:32:04Z")
Taped to my monitor at work: Good to begin welll, better to end well. Your talents wil be recognized and suitably rewarded. You will be awarded some great honor. Your love life will be happy and harmonious. I have a bunch more at home. I always save them; I’m not sure where my big jar o’ fortunes went actually, I think I lost them in a move somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/36 "2003-05-10T18:55:43Z")
“Your lover will never wish to leave.” 🙂 At my local restaurant, they use fortune cookies with fortunes printed on both sides; the fortune comes with lucky numbers and on the flip side is a short phrase (not the fortune) in English & Chinese (both transliterated and in chops). Neat! Anybody else get those? ---
**Author:** ![AntaresJB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AntaresJB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AntaresJB)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/37 "2003-05-10T19:30:46Z")
The one I have taped to my monitor says “You are worth more than you are getting.” But the best one I ever got was > [@](#): > > Alas! The onion you are eating is someone else’s water lily. I think it was the “alas!” that confused me most. ---
**Author:** ![Omorka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Omorka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omorka)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/38 "2003-05-11T07:58:39Z")
The Spouse and I add " . . . on the web" to the ends of our fortunes, instead of “in bed.” Nice change of pace . . . ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/39 "2003-05-11T11:06:41Z")
I got “You have an unusual equipment for success.” That one works quite nicely with “between the sheets.” ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/40 "2003-05-13T03:15:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RandMcnally \* > \*\*On an episode of Rock’s Modern Life, Filbert received a fortune, on numerous occasions, “Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic little soul for all eternity.” I’m still looking for that one. \*\* But he’s Mr. Lucky… ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102.md?page=3)