# Best. Fortune. Cookie. Fortune. Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 9, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102 "2003-05-09T14:16:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Moonchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Moonchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonchild)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/61 "2003-05-14T01:32:57Z")
This was going on when I was hot on a trail of trying to bring ocean wave energy to Santa Monica. (Ocean Wave energy: harnessing oceans waves & converting it to electricity.) One night my girlfriend (now wife) and I couldn’t choose where to eat but I had one of those _feelings_ we should hit up this Chinese food place nearby and I just couldn’t shake the feeling. My fortune cookie read: “Your environmental project gains great grades.” Honest. ---
**Author:** ![SuperNova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SuperNova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNova)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/62 "2003-05-14T01:50:13Z")
I just got a fortune cookie that read: “You would make a good lawyer.” ??? ---
**Author:** ![Peregrine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a6a055/32.png) [@Peregrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peregrine)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/63 "2003-05-14T01:57:32Z")
I misread a bus schedule once when heading home from college, and had to stay on campus an extra day. At lunch, my fortune cookie told me, “Revise your plans at once and guard against mistakes.” ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/64 "2003-05-14T02:49:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tds1273 \* > \*\* > “Fat Fong Say: Me no come, Wife no come, Baby come, How Come???” \*\* Hell, I would keep that too. _Fat Fong_?! Who the hell is that? ---
**Author:** ![Crakmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Crakmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crakmine)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/65 "2003-05-14T02:57:15Z")
Two I’ve got strapped onto my monitor here Ask not what your fortune cookie can do for you, but what you can do for your fortune cookie and If you and I agree all the time, one of us is unnecessary The second ones humor mostly comes from the fact that shortly before I opened that cookie, someone mentioned the obligatory adding of ‘In Bed’ to it… and… well… ---
**Author:** ![NE\_Texan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e99b99/32.png) [@NE\_Texan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NE_Texan)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/66 "2003-05-14T03:42:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SuperNova \* > \*\*I just got a fortune cookie that read: > “You would make a good lawyer.” > ??? \*\* Did you check the back to see if it said something like: “…a great deal of money off of you.” or “…go bad.” In bed. ---
**Author:** ![tds1273](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df705f/32.png) [@tds1273](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tds1273)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/67 "2003-05-14T05:12:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lizard \* > \*\*Hell, I would keep that too. _Fat Fong_?! Who the hell is that? \*\* Beats me, that just what it says. That little piece of paper makes me laugh every time I open up my wallet, so I guess in a way it does bring good fortune. ---
**Author:** ![cmosdes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cmosdes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmosdes)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/68 "2003-05-14T05:38:49Z")
I was once trying to convince a friend of mine to take a different position. I knew she’d be happier in the new position, although she wasn’t sure she’d be able to handle it. Having managed the position she was contemplating taking, I was pretty certain she wouldn’t have any problems with it. Alas, she would not listen to my logic nor reason. Around this time I got a fortune which read, “It is time for a change in your career.” Unbeknownst to her, I slipped the fortune into a still whole cookie and then had someone give her the cookie. She took the new position. That isn’t the only reason she changed jobs, but she did say it helped. Yes, she does like the new job better and she does just fine with it, thank you very much. ---
**Author:** ![CatherineMorris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8797f3/32.png) [@CatherineMorris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatherineMorris)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/69 "2003-05-14T06:30:39Z")
In the same vein, I was carping about my crappy job one day at lunch, and my cookie revealed this gem: “Discontent is the first step in the progress of any man or nation.” I taped it on my monitor, and a few weeks later I found a new and better job. Of course, at my new job I got this one: “Your charm is best taken in small doses.” Uh, thanks? My first post! Don’t spit on the newbie! ---
**Author:** ![tds1273](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df705f/32.png) [@tds1273](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tds1273)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/70 "2003-05-16T00:34:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CatherineMorris \* > \*\*My first post! Don’t spit on the newbie! \*\* Congradulations, my first, second, and now third post have all come in this thread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/71 "2003-05-16T01:52:29Z")
The fortune I started another thread over: “You could prosper in the field of medical research.” I got it three separate times at a different restaurant each time, over the space of about 12 years. Yes, I worked in medical research the whole time (and still do). Still waiting on the prospering part though (why can’t it say “You WILL prosper etc, etc,”?) ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/72 "2003-05-16T05:18:24Z")
My wife doesn’t like to eat chinese food with me. I think it’s because my fortune almost always says: [spoiler]Uh, it doesn’t matter what it says. I have this funny little joke I play on her where I read it, and act really interested in what it says, then I ball it up and swallow it like an asprin. This is of course very funny to me as she is the most curious person in the world. The last time our family went out for chinese, my 17 year old daughter did the same thing! hee hee![/spoiler] Unbelievable, huh? 😃 :eek: E3 ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Magic8ball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Miss\_Magic8ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Magic8ball)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/73 "2003-05-16T17:02:28Z")
excuse my ignorance, but how do I make a “spoiler” thingy? I got one once that said “You were wrong”. I have no idea where that came from, as I am NEVER wrong, but whatever. ---
**Author:** ![spinningplates](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7c8e57/32.png) [@spinningplates](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spinningplates)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102/74 "2003-05-16T19:43:11Z")
Okay, so I just finished lunch and my fortune cookie saying was weird. “If hand itches, you’re going to get something. If head itches, you’ve got it.” The hell? No way I want to think about what it would mean to add ‘in bed’ to this one! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-fortune-cookie-fortune-ever/174102.md?page=3)