# Best "get well" message when someone ... won't get well? (Need answer fastish) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 20, 2022, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563 "2022-10-20T21:01:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2022, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/1 "2022-10-20T21:01:29Z")
Someone I work with is in the hospital with cancer and a poor prognosis. I’d like to send flowers from all of us at our organization, but am not sure what to put on the card - “get well soon” is hardly appropriate since chances are that he won’t. I can’t be the first person to grapple with this. Any thoughts? The best I can come up with is something along the lines of “All of us at [org name] are holding you in our thoughts” or something like that. (We’re super-secular, so no “thoughts and prayers” for sure.) I don’t like the phrase “best wishes” because it smacks of “for a full recovery” or a positive event (isn’t “best wishes” what you are supposed to say to the groom at a wedding?) I won’t have his hospital info until tomorrow so I can take suggestions over the next 24 hours. Thanks for any ideas. ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2022, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/2 "2022-10-20T21:20:43Z")
“Thinking of you” is best I have. “Let me know if there is anything I can do” but that is more for their family than the them ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2022, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/3 "2022-10-20T21:29:16Z")
“We miss you at work” is something else you could say. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2022, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/4 "2022-10-20T22:43:38Z")
I fall back on expressing that they’re in my thoughts, which is true. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2022, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/5 "2022-10-20T22:50:29Z")
Does this person have a good sense of humor? If so, you could write this on the card (ahem): Money’s tight Times are hard Here’s your fucking “Get Well” card! I got this once for my birthday (with “Birthday” in place of “Get Well”) and I wasn’t sure I’d ever draw breath again, I was laughing so hard! ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/6 "2022-10-21T01:32:42Z")
“This sucks. All of us are sorry that you are going through it.” If there is any possibility of being useful to the person you could add, “We’re here for you if there is anything we can do.” ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/7 "2022-10-21T02:05:27Z")
“We hope the food is good” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/8 "2022-10-21T02:13:23Z")
The card will accompany flowers, so why not something like, “Hope these brighten your day,” or “Hope these make you smile,” or similar? ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/9 "2022-10-21T05:35:11Z")
I trust things will work out for the best. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/10 "2022-10-21T05:39:12Z")
“We’re all thinking of you” is certainly suitable for something like this. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/11 "2022-10-21T05:42:06Z")
+1 We’re all thinking of you and sending positive energy your way ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/12 "2022-10-21T14:01:49Z")
When my dad was on his death bed (lung cancer and pneumonia) I, as an eight year old, made this card for him: What makes the sound “ha, ha, bonk”? Answer: a man laughing his head off! My dad loved it. But the point is much more, while my dad liked my tasteless joke, your colleague is someone you know. Internet strangers are not really going to be able to give you a lot of useful advice. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/13 "2022-10-21T14:01:52Z")
“thinking of you” is the best bet. best wishes is the phrase for the bride to be. once the bride is a wife, then congratulations. the groom to be is always congratulated up to and after the wedding. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/14 "2022-10-21T14:05:02Z")
Another vote for “thinking of you” That’s what a group of us sent to a friend in hospice care, who died shortly thereafter. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/15 "2022-10-21T14:11:42Z")
My first thought was something along the lines of “sending you our love.” But that obviously hinges on whether _any_ use of the word ‘love’ is appropriate in this case, with this person, with the nature of the relationships, etc. It seems unlikely to backfire/cause harm, though. IME … at ‘the end …’ people feeling loved is rarely a bad thing. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/16 "2022-10-21T17:37:48Z")
I wrestled with this a couple hours ago. A casual friend has late stage cancer. I’m not hearing much from his end but I gather he’s in hospice now. What I’ve been able to pick up on: Don’t slip prematurely into the past tense. Avoid religion, “I know what you’re going through”, “You can fight this”. If you can point to things you have really appreciated, do so. If there’s anything you should be apologizing for, or any apology you should be accepting, now’s the time. Don’t just say “let me know if I can help”; rather, go ahead and help if you know how, or ask “how can I help”. If you can use humor, do so. This perspective is all relevant to somebody you’re friendly with but not very close to. It can apply when you don’t know much about what’s going on. All sorts of additional things come up if you’re close. I found a lot of useful advice online. ---
**Author:** ![TXRebel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6de8d8/32.png) [@TXRebel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TXRebel)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/17 "2022-10-21T21:16:30Z")
- “Hope today is one of the good days. We are all thinking of you.” ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2022, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/18 "2022-10-21T23:29:49Z")
I like the sound of a message that Is part emotionally sincere like we’re keeping you in our thoughts, you are missed, and part humor if the person is pretty familiar with you, something light and Good for a chuckle. Office/Org joke or updates. Sorry about your coworker. ---
**Author:** ![velomont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/8491ac/32.png) [@velomont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velomont)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2022, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-get-well-message-when-someone-wont-get-well-need-answer-fastish/973563/19 "2022-10-22T00:17:37Z")
When my wife was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer (I was still in the Navy), one of my senior officers said to me “it sucks, doesn’t it?” That, to me, was the most useful thing anyone had said to me about the situation, and definitely better than any BS platitudes. I’m not sure how useful that is, however.