# Best Groucho Marx Quote

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-groucho-marx-quote/79046>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [August 31, 2001, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-groucho-marx-quote/79046 "2001-08-31T01:09:43Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![jinty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jinty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jinty)\
**Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-groucho-marx-quote/79046/41 "2001-09-04T12:23:18Z")

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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

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**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\
**Post date:** [September 4, 2001, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-groucho-marx-quote/79046/42 "2001-09-04T21:51:27Z")

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_ **Animal Crackers:** _  
I wish I were back in the jungle where men are monkeys.  
_ **At the Circus:** _  
_(Eve Arden, the bad guy’s moll, stuffs the $10,000 Groucho is after, into the front of her dress top.)_  
GROUCHO _(to the camera):_ There must be _some_ way to get that money back without getting in trouble with the Hays office!  
_ **Go West** _  
_(In the saloon, again: Lulubelle [June McClory], Red Baxter’s moll, approaches Groucho.)_  
GROUCHO: Lulubelle! I didn’t recognize you standing up!  
_ **Duck Soup:** _  
MRS. TEASDALE: I have taken it upon myself to make an effort to prevent this war.  
GROUCHO: It’s too late. I’ve already paid a month’s rent on the battlefield.  
_ **Room Service:** _  
CHICO: How d’ya like-a that! Just because he [Harpo] owes six months’-a rent, they throw-a him outta his place!  
GROUCHO: Well, six dollars is six dollars!  
_ **Horse Feathers:** _  
_(In classroom; Groucho holds pointer and touches its other end to the rear end of a horse in a wall chart.)_  
GROUCHO: That reminds me–I haven’t seen my son all day.  
_ **A Day at the Races:** _  
_(Mrs. Upjohn and Whitmore introduce the sanitarium staff to Groucho.)_  
WILMERDING: Johns Hopkins, 1922.  
GROUCHO: Dodge Brothers, late '29.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Revedge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecae2f/32.png) [@Revedge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revedge)\
**Post date:** [September 5, 2001, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-groucho-marx-quote/79046/43 "2001-09-05T05:38:58Z")

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Groucho Live at Carnegie Hall:

“I knew a prostitute that commuted from Minniapolis to St. Paul, She was known as the Tail from Two Cities.”

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