# Best Haiku ever? You decide... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 6, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300 "2005-12-06T04:48:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/1 "2005-12-06T04:48:30Z")
For a lark the other night I bought my girlfriend a card. I’d browsed through the racks of cards that had sayings on them…and nothing at ALL caught my eye (I’m starting to think that Hallmark has one writer that is kept locked in a room like Ruprecht from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels). Anyways, I found a card that was blank inside and wrote her a short sweet note…and ended it with this. ( She digs watching the Three Stooges BTW)…Oh, and the ‘gay’ remark isn’t a condemnation…just an observation that we chuckled about. Here’s the Haiku that ended the card: Gay Joe and Shemp suck Curly is a Stooges god woo, woo, woo, woo woo… 😉 Let’s see you make one better! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/2 "2005-12-06T07:05:12Z")
I’m moving this thread To Cafe Society From IMHO ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/3 "2005-12-06T07:05:31Z")
Feh. I’ve seen better. [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5\_229.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_229.html) ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/4 "2005-12-06T11:44:37Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I’m moving this thread > To Cafe Society > From IMHO 😃 Nice. ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/5 "2005-12-06T13:01:03Z")
at a particularly cathartic moment in therapy, I penned a personal classic: fetid fecal pool steaming and hot, like coffee slop it on my mom ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/6 "2005-12-06T13:52:56Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > 😃 Nice. Some moderators Aren’t fit to run a whelk stall: But **Czarcasm** rocks! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/7 "2005-12-06T14:28:49Z")
This starts with five beats then grows slightly to seven returning to five. How profound. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/8 "2005-12-06T14:33:51Z")
> [@Nature's Call](#): > > This starts with five beats > then grows slightly to seven > returning to five. Meta haiku. Wow. Who’da thunk it possible? But you read it here. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/9 "2005-12-06T15:10:49Z")
I dig haiku threads, They give me something to do With my brain at work. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/10 "2005-12-06T15:19:02Z")
To write a poem In seventeen syllables Is very diffi- ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/11 "2005-12-06T15:21:31Z")
There are so many good poets here at SD- MB it’s quite fun! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/12 "2005-12-06T15:22:21Z")
Bad Beatles haiku: I am the eggman They are also the eggmen I am the walrus ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/13 "2005-12-06T15:47:11Z")
Even worse Beatles haiku: Lucy in the Sky Oh no, anti-aircraft guns! This may be the end…… ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/14 "2005-12-06T15:57:37Z")
For the triskaidekaphobes: one two three four five six seven eight nine ten e- -leven twelve thirteen ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/15 "2005-12-06T16:03:40Z")
Boy my mind works in odd ways…… Boycott Wonka Bars Oompa-Loompa slave labor Tastes like oppression. ---
**Author:** ![Just1Lurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c0e974/32.png) [@Just1Lurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just1Lurk)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/16 "2005-12-06T16:14:21Z")
What a name to give A lovely type of poem Haiku? Gesundheit! ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/17 "2005-12-06T16:27:06Z")
> [@Kaotic Newtral](#): > > Oh, and the ‘gay’ remark isn’t a condemnation…just an observation that we chuckled about. “‘Gay’ remark?” What are you referring to? -Frl- ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/18 "2005-12-06T16:36:12Z")
Theodore Sturgeon was right: 90 percent of everything is crap Bow before the genius of my haiku! Someday I will embroider the above on a sampler, country-style, and frame it. I think that would be hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/19 "2005-12-06T16:38:16Z")
> [@Nature's Call](#): > > For the triskaidekaphobes: > > one two three four five > six seven eight nine ten e- > -leven twelve thirteen One for hexako- sioihexekonta- hexaphobians ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300/20 "2005-12-06T17:00:14Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > One for hexako- > sioihexekonta- > hexaphobians although I seldom wear coverings on my head my hat’s off to you [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-haiku-ever-you-decide/334300.md?page=2)