# Best Homer Simpson Lines **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 11, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884 "2003-10-11T19:22:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![nikjohns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/53a042/32.png) [@nikjohns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikjohns)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/21 "2003-10-11T23:56:02Z")
Or what **Magayuk** said. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horrifying_Howler_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/22 "2003-10-12T00:03:28Z")
Hee. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Horrifying\_Howler\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horrifying_Howler_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/23 "2003-10-12T00:06:38Z")
Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand. I can totally identify with that one) ---
**Author:** ![Frankenbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c0e974/32.png) [@Frankenbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frankenbear)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/24 "2003-10-12T00:11:21Z")
No, that was a [Homer](http://www.snpp.com/episodes/3G01.html) quote. It was in the episode The Springfield Files. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/25 "2003-10-12T00:11:30Z")
I’m quite fond of the exchange between Homer and Bart in _Brother From the Same Planet_, where the scene in question parodies _Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?_, and Homer talks like Richard Burton. Homer (sitting on the stairs in the dark as Bart opens the door): Hello son. Where were you? Bart: Out playing with Milhouse. Homer: No you weren’t! You’ve been out gallivating with that floozy of a bigger brother, haven’t you? Haven’t you?! Look at me! Bart: It just sort of happened. You’re taking this too hard. Homer: How do you want me to take it? ‘Go ahead Bart, have your fun, I’ll be waiting’? Bart: Oh yeah? What are you going to do? Homer: [pours wine] You’ll see. [gulps it down] ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/26 "2003-10-12T00:15:21Z")
Suuuure Lisa, a magical, wonderful animal! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/27 "2003-10-12T00:15:39Z")
“Animals are crapping in our house and we’re cleaning it up? Did we lose a war? That’s not America! That’s not even Mexico!” “I like my beer cold, my tv loud, and my homosexuals FAAA-LAMING!” ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/28 "2003-10-12T00:21:04Z")
“Why if we didn’t have guns then the King of England himself could come here into your house and push you around. Would you want that, Lisa? Would you?” “No.” ---
**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/29 "2003-10-12T00:24:13Z")
My sig, prefaced by “Liiisa”, ---
**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/30 "2003-10-12T00:33:52Z")
“No beer and no tv make Homer something something.” ---
**Author:** ![cletus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@cletus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cletus)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/31 "2003-10-12T00:40:03Z")
Jesus Allah Buddha, I love you all! ---
**Author:** ![collinsc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f6c823/32.png) [@collinsc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/collinsc)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/32 "2003-10-12T01:11:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mobo85 \* > \*\*Nope, it’s a Homer. Although _Milhouse_ did have the wonderful: > > “This is just like _Speed 2_, only with a bus instead of a boat!” \*\* Sorry all, this is what I was thinking of. ---
**Author:** ![Sanscour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f475e1/32.png) [@Sanscour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanscour)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/33 "2003-10-12T01:36:41Z")
can’t believe anyone hasn’t said it yet… “mmmmm…Forbidden Donut…” Sanscour ---
**Author:** ![Lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@Lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lola)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/34 "2003-10-12T01:41:06Z")
“God help me Marge, I’m just not very bright.” ---
**Author:** ![Nekosoft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c2a13f/32.png) [@Nekosoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nekosoft)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/35 "2003-10-12T01:46:52Z")
Well, crying isn’t gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back – or you can go out there and find your dog! – Rats. I almost had him eating dog food. ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/36 "2003-10-12T02:05:28Z")
This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose… it’s how drunk you get. Operator! Give me the number for 911! ---
**Author:** ![fallapart](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fallapart/32/3018_2.png) [@fallapart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fallapart)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/37 "2003-10-12T02:08:25Z")
“Goin out Marge! if were not back avenge our deaths” H: If i don’t make it through this operation alive, promise me one thing. M: What? H: Blow up the hospital (The way he says it is just priceless 🙂 ) “And no mis-directed “Woe-ing,” which is preety much any John Woo film” ---
**Author:** ![Algorithm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/algorithm/32/12204_2.png) [@Algorithm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algorithm)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/38 "2003-10-12T02:11:52Z")
“Then we figured out we could park them in front of the TV. That’s how I was raised, and I turned out TV.” ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/39 "2003-10-12T02:36:00Z")
“Stupid sexy Flanders!” ---
**Author:** ![Mofo\_Rising](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mofo\_Rising](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mofo_Rising)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/40 "2003-10-12T02:51:13Z")
“Just gimme’ some inner peace or I’ll mop the floor with you!” “Homer no function beer well without.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884.md?page=3)