# Best Homer Simpson Lines **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 11, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884 "2003-10-11T19:22:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![guy\_from\_wpa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@guy\_from\_wpa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guy_from_wpa)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/141 "2003-10-16T02:58:20Z")
They’re dogs! And they’re playing poker!!! ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/142 "2003-10-16T03:00:13Z")
“super fun happy slide!!” ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/143 "2003-10-16T03:44:09Z")
“But the football…his groin…it works on so many levels!” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/144 "2003-10-16T04:18:09Z")
“Do _I_ know what _rhetorical_ means?” ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/145 "2003-10-16T04:53:23Z")
Donuts … is there _anything_ they can’t do? ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/146 "2003-10-16T05:02:34Z")
Possibly my personal favorite, as my friend has nicknamed her cat after this quote. “I call the big one Bitey.” ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/147 "2003-10-16T05:22:39Z")
From the Pinchy episode Bart: Can we have some? Homer: sniff sniff… no, Pinchy would have wanted it this way and from the leporasy episode Brains… Brains… You can use your brains to help us out. Your sweet delicious brains. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/148 "2003-10-16T15:01:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > \*\*Another tragic case of _deja moo_, where you’ve seen this BS before. \*\* Hmm. Don’t seem to recall that Homer line, and I can’t Google it either. Cite? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/149 "2003-10-16T17:18:23Z")
“Are you tired of having your hands cut off by snowblowers?” -Homer “Mr. Plow, that’s my name. That name again is Mr. Plow.” can be heard here: [http://www.geocities.com/televisioncity/1742/MRPLOW.WAV](http://www.geocities.com/televisioncity/1742/MRPLOW.WAV) ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/150 "2003-10-16T23:18:31Z")
“Come to Homercles!” “We’re number one! We’re number one! In your face, space coyote!” ---
**Author:** ![PigArcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@PigArcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PigArcher)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/151 "2003-10-16T23:38:17Z")
“Let’s get Homer-erotic!” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/152 "2003-10-17T00:23:34Z")
“Homercles cares not for beans!” “C’mon Marge, take off the babmababushka!” ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/153 "2003-10-17T00:29:19Z")
Homer IOU one donut signed Homer. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Blunty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Captain\_Blunty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Blunty)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/154 "2003-10-17T00:56:36Z")
Homer: I can’t believe my little boy is going on his very first date. Sunrise, sunset. Sunriiise, sunset. And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon, yes, we have no, bananas… (sniffling) Marge: Ah Homer, that’s sweet. Our son is growing up isn’t he? Homer: No it’s not that! Didn’t you hear? They have no bananas! They have no bananas today! (runs off crying) ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Blunty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Captain\_Blunty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Blunty)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/155 "2003-10-17T01:02:43Z")
Oh I forgot! In the episode where they join the witness relocation program to get away from sideshow Bob… Bart is in bed in the dark, looking very tense… Homer: (screaming and brandishing a butchers knife, with red eyes and a dark figure) BARTDOYOUWANTABITOFBROWNIEBEFOREYOUGOTOBED!? Bart: AHHHHHH! Homer: Come on, let me cut you a piece of brownie. Bart: Dad, I’m a little edgy right now. It would help if you didn’t come screaming into my room waving knives. Homer: Oh, what was I thinking. (kisses Bart and leaves) Homer:(Almost immediatly coming back into the room, screaming and waving a chainsaw.) BARTDOYOUWANTTOSEEMYNEWHOCKEYMASKANDCHAINSAW!? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Blunty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Captain\_Blunty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Blunty)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/156 "2003-10-17T01:05:19Z")
Argggh damn coding! Preview preview preview! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/157 "2003-10-17T01:18:47Z")
“Don’t blame me. I voted for Kodos!” ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/158 "2003-10-17T01:49:30Z")
Oh Lisa! You and your stories! Bart is a vampire! Beer kills brain-cells! Now lets go back to that…building…thingy… where our beds and TV…is. every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? What is a wedding? Webster’s Dictionary defines a wedding as “The process of removing weeds from one’s garden.” I know you can read my thoughts, boy : Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow. I’m in a place where I don’t know where I am! Operator! Give me the number for 911! They have the Internet on computers, now? Uh huh. Uh huh. Okay. Um, can you repeat the part of the stuff where you said all about the … things? Uh … the things. Wait a minute. I’m a guy like me! ---
**Author:** ![cletus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@cletus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cletus)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/159 "2003-10-17T04:28:02Z")
Clown college? You can’t eat that. _Later on_ That’s it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I’m going to clown college! /leaves Bart: I don’t think any of us expected him to say that. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884/160 "2003-10-17T15:42:18Z")
“Homer! There’s no air in space!!” “There’s an Air & Space museum” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-homer-simpson-lines/206884.md?page=9)