# Best Insults **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 14, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-insults/155128 "2003-02-14T19:34:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-insults/155128/21 "2003-02-15T08:41:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by leander \* > \*\*“You’re the load your mother should have swallowed” \*\* I had a girlfriend tell me this shortly after I broke up with her. ---
**Author:** ![Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gut)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-insults/155128/22 "2003-02-15T17:34:21Z")
I think I saw this one on the boards somewhere. “Jesus may love you, but I think you’re shit wrapped in skin.” Also calling someone a “Stunned c\*nt”, male or female, seems highly insulting to me. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-insults/155128/23 "2003-02-15T17:46:32Z")
My fave: Why don’t you attempt aerial fornication with a laterally rotating toroidal pastry? Of course now that I work in a donut shop I ask that customers _not_ do this while I am there. I also did a [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=143034) awhile back looking for some good ones. A few did turn up, so check it out if you like. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-insults/155128/24 "2003-02-15T21:09:19Z")
I will definately have to use these sometime. Considering the intelligence level that I have to deal with every day at high school, I can’t wait to see the confused looks on people’s faces. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-insults/155128/25 "2003-02-15T21:29:45Z")
Good heavens, I made the Page O’ Flames! Why doesn’t anyone _tell_ me these things? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![phreakomatic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/87869e/32.png) [@phreakomatic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phreakomatic)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-insults/155128/26 "2003-02-15T21:54:01Z")
Sorry guys, I’m not a homophobe but I think the insult “Boner Breath” is funny. ---
**Author:** ![Bob55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Bob55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob55)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-insults/155128/27 "2003-02-15T22:40:43Z")
Your mamma’s so fat she’s got smaller fat women orbiting around her. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-insults/155128/28 "2003-02-15T23:33:32Z")
Your sister says your wife’s no good in bed. Apparently it’s Australian in origin and designed to make the batter’s brain freeze up during cricket games. I like it 'cuz it’s layered. ---
**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-insults/155128/29 "2003-02-16T00:16:24Z")
I do like **leander’s**. A girl I know is always partial to, “Hey! GRAB A SPOON AND _EAT MY ASS_!!!” ---
**Author:** ![manx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@manx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manx)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2003, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-insults/155128/30 "2003-02-16T00:46:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 2trew \* > \*\*Your sister says your wife’s no good in bed. > \*\* Love it! Will have to use it at some point. I always favour a Blank Look. Then something like; ‘you, sir/madam, are an oik’. Hehehe, oik. Or, my personal favourite, ‘You are a waste of my time. Fuck off.’ Simple, but delivered effectivly, it’s very crushing. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2003, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-insults/155128/31 "2003-02-16T01:39:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shodan \* > \*\*Good heavens, I made the Page O’ Flames! > > Why doesn’t anyone _tell_ me these things? > > Regards, > Shodan \*\* Pfft. **Five** times here. I am that damn good. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TVGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@TVGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2003, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-insults/155128/32 "2003-02-16T02:03:19Z")
Not terribly withering, but I’ve always been partial to: “_You have GOT to be the biggest waste of protoplasm on this Godforsaken planet._” Of course, begining a rant against someone with the phrase, “LISTEN UP, FUCKSTICK!!” usually turns heads, anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-insults/155128.md?page=1)