# BEST job title ever? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 8, 2004, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130 "2004-05-08T03:21:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/1 "2004-05-08T03:21:37Z")
To to provide karmic balance to [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=255125)…what are the BEST job titles you’ve ever heard of? Most of the ones I can think of are historical. To wit: •“Lord of the Secrets” As I remember, this was one of the job titles held by an Egyptian court official, several thousand years ago. •“Beast Master” According to the Discovery Channel, this was the title of the guy who managed the animal acts at the Flavian Amphitheater (Aka The “Colosseum”) in Rome. Come to think of it, there are quite a few great titles that end with “Master.” Range Master, Sword Master, Jump Master, etc. •“Admiral of the Ocean Sea” Hereditary rank bestowed upon Christopher Columbus. So…any other suggestions? Ancient, Medieval, Modern, or whathave you…as long as it sounds cool. And titles of Sovereign rulers (like Emperor, or Shogun) do _ **NOT** _ count, for this one. They’d just muddle the issue, I think. ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/2 "2004-05-08T04:06:50Z")
“Master of the Queen’s Revels” has always sounded pretty good to me. (I have this mental image of an elderly, bespectacled guy with a long grey beard, teaching the Queen to play leap-frog.) ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/3 "2004-05-08T05:02:29Z")
I dunno, “Butt Patrol” could be a great job title in the right context. Victoria’s Secret fashion show… NHL locker room… Nude beach on the French Riviera… ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/4 "2004-05-08T05:36:37Z")
Tech Lord. Master of Space and Time ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/5 "2004-05-08T05:51:08Z")
“Fluffer training dummy” ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/6 "2004-05-08T06:07:29Z")
I had the title “Eldritch Horror” at one job. Made me happy. My sister had the title “Squid Wrangler” at one of her jobs. Amusingly, the two of us were actually squid wranglers when we were younger, but that job didn’t come with business cards or anything. A friend worked in cryptography programming. Various export restrictions defined high grade cryptography as an unexportable munition, so he had his title as “munitions expert.” ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/7 "2004-05-08T06:23:06Z")
I had a FOAF who was a Screw Machine Operator. ---
**Author:** ![akennett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee59a6/32.png) [@akennett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akennett)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/8 "2004-05-08T14:43:51Z")
Doesn’t JLo have a guy on staff as a “nipple tweaker”? I think that wins, um, hands down! ---
**Author:** ![Satyricon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f05b48/32.png) [@Satyricon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satyricon)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/9 "2004-05-08T16:58:28Z")
This isn’t real, but my dream job title would be: Fornatpholiartologist A combo of forensic anthropologist/National Geographic photographer/lion tamer/artist. 🙂 What a great job that would be! ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/10 "2004-05-08T18:23:26Z")
[Planetary Protection Officer](http://slate.msn.com/id/2099222/) The (real) job is almost as cool as the title. The professional indemnity insurance premiums must be crushing, though. ---
**Author:** ![bigdfrombigd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df705f/32.png) [@bigdfrombigd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bigdfrombigd)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/11 "2004-05-08T19:47:06Z")
What about that ship that all the millionaires live on called “The World”. The captains official title is “Master”. Hence… ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/12 "2004-05-08T20:49:14Z")
Mentat assassin. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/13 "2004-05-08T22:29:32Z")
Webmaster is actually a common appelation. I love geeks 🙂 Last time I managed to wangle the title “Weblord” but it was with a student society, not a real business so I don’t think it counts. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/14 "2004-05-08T22:47:04Z")
I’ve got a friend at a radio station in DC where she and the other managers are customarily refered to as “czar”. I rather like that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/15 "2004-05-08T23:11:25Z")
I have a friend whose former business card said “Scientist”. I thought that was cool. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/16 "2004-05-08T23:31:31Z")
I always wanted to be the Drug Czar until I found out that the job isn’t half as much fun as the title implies. ---
**Author:** ![Early\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Early\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Early_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/17 "2004-05-08T23:39:14Z")
Purely fictional, but in _The Honeymooners_, the head of the Raccoon Lodge was The Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler. ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/18 "2004-05-08T23:46:51Z")
The Hogwarts High Inquisitor. I think it sounds official and such. Also, you get to work at Hogwarts. Yay! Magic! ---
**Author:** ![htns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@htns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/htns)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2004, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/19 "2004-05-08T23:53:56Z")
Master Gunnery Sergeant. That’s an actual rank in the USMC - and yes, it’s considered a high rank that typically takes a quarter century of distinguished service to attain. Is that title macho, or what? It uses the word Master! It references firearms! That is so totally tite. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2004, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130/20 "2004-05-09T00:02:03Z")
Plus, it qualifies you for the nickname “Gunny,” which is easily one of the top-ten coolest nicknames ever. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-job-title-ever/244130.md?page=2)