# Best last words.... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 18, 2006, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-last-words/357312 "2006-05-18T20:25:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-last-words/357312/61 "2006-05-23T18:58:29Z")
Though there are different versions of it, one account of Sir Walter Raleigh’s last moments has him testing the edge of the executioner’s axe that will shortly be used against him, and commenting thus: “'Tis a sharp remedy, but a sure one for all ills” ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-last-words/357312/62 "2006-05-24T01:24:42Z")
“I wonder why he shot me.” –Huey Long ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-last-words/357312/63 "2006-05-24T01:25:43Z")
> [@Rayne Man](#): > > Britain’s King George V lies in his bed at Sandringham House on the verge of death, surrounded by his family. Concerned with keeping his royal patient’s spirits up, the King’s physician reportedly suggests, “Your Majesty will soon be well enough to visit Bognor.” (a well known seaside resort) > > The King replies, “Bugger Bognor,” and promptly dies. That reminds me of the last words jokingly attributed to Edward II: “I always said Roger Mortimer was a pain in the --.” ---
**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-last-words/357312/64 "2006-05-24T01:31:12Z")
My brother-in-law swears that his grandfather’s last words were “Don’t use Tobin Brothers”. Tobin Brothers is a funeral directors here. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-last-words/357312/65 "2006-05-24T02:15:48Z")
Gertrude Stein: “What is the answer?” Upon receiving no reply: “In that case, what is the question?” Captain Lawrence Oates (A member of the Scott Antarctic expedition. After developing frostbite, he worried that he was slowing down the others and wandered off into a blizzard to die): “I am just going outside and I may be some time.” ---
**Author:** ![Fitzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7cd45c/32.png) [@Fitzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fitzer)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-last-words/357312/66 "2006-05-24T17:37:09Z")
On his death bed for a couple of weeks and after sleeping for many, many hours, my father-in-law awoke, tried to get out of bed and mumbled, “I’ve been trying to die all god-damn day. I must be one tough sonofabitch. Where’s the off switch?” He never said another word before passing. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-last-words/357312/67 "2006-05-24T18:49:13Z")
[QUOTE=RandMcnally] [Brandon Veda](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=I+told+you+I+was+hardcore) [/QUOTE] According to wiki, “i told u i was hardcore”. Also, it appears that they reference a memorial site that his mom set up, which seems to have been taken over by “shroomery”. Odd. ---
**Author:** ![Carnacki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Carnacki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnacki)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-last-words/357312/68 "2006-05-24T20:11:09Z")
[QUOTE=CynicalGabe] “From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee!” [/QUOTE] That’s one of my favorites. Although, from memory, the full line is “From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee! For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee!” (Melville, Moby Dick) ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-last-words/357312/69 "2006-05-24T20:37:19Z")
[QUOTE=Whack-a-Mole] Can’t remember where I heard this or who supposedly said it but the story is a man on his death bed gestures a friend close. When the friend leans in to hear the whisper the dying man touches him and says, “Tag, you’re it,” then dies. [/QUOTE] There was once a MAD magazine cartoon based on this theme, and I’ve heard (but can’t find a cite) that publisher William M. Gaines re-enacted the gag by tagging his wife as he lay dying. **BobLibDem** : My dad’s first name is Lawrence, and in his version of the story, St. Lawrence’s exhortation is “Don’t turn me over, I’m not quite done yet.” However, a search supports your version of the quote (which, at any rate, seems too good to be true). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-last-words/357312.md?page=3)