# Best Laxative? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 19, 2007, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279 "2007-10-19T07:30:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Alien\_Skyraider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Alien\_Skyraider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alien_Skyraider)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/41 "2015-01-28T00:38:25Z")
Milk of Magnesia, it is safe, works quick, doesn’t taste that nasty and in one day your guts will be clean as a whistle. I tried the baby kind once, I could not make it to the toilet and ended up throwing away my perfectly good, yet smelly air bed. Go with the cherry flavored adult one and have an extra 1/2 of a swig just in case… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/42 "2015-01-28T00:56:02Z")
If you’ve been constipated for eight years, you might want to see a doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/43 "2015-01-28T01:21:50Z")
So I guess it’s no longer “need answer fast”? ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/44 "2015-01-28T01:32:54Z")
When my wife’s water broke but there were no contractions, it was suggested that she take some mineral oil to help induce labor. I hit every mom and pop pharmacy along Graham Avenue until I finally found one that was open on Sunday morning and carried the stuff. It induced something, but it wasn’t labor. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/45 "2015-01-28T03:50:23Z")
Have you considered eating a great big salad with lots of veggies on it? Maybe some red beans and rice? Follow either with a couple of large glasses of water. You’ll poop. I take opiates daily and don’t need a laxative…because I eat food with fiber in it. **mutters about what the dickens people are eating these days** **and get off my lawn!** ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/46 "2015-01-28T04:10:40Z")
Just take dried apricots–they’re mother nature’s colon blow. Or you can try some of my home made onion soup. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/47 "2015-01-28T04:45:50Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Really safe and really fast? A product like [Golytely](http://www.nulytely.com/golytely/). For when your GI tract needs to be really clean, really quick. For once we agree. And I still want to meet the man who named it just to beat him senseless. Or if he’s already been beaten to death, find his grave and piss on it. ---
**Author:** ![MrsTime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@MrsTime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrsTime)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/48 "2015-01-28T06:29:13Z")
Psyllium fiber capsules work for me. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/49 "2015-01-28T07:46:19Z")
Do zombies use laxatives? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/50 "2015-01-28T08:12:03Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > For once we agree. And I still want to meet the man who named it just to beat him senseless. Or if he’s already been beaten to death, find his grave and piss on it. Wouldn’t it make more sense to poop on it? ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/51 "2015-01-28T08:38:00Z")
> [@P-man](#): > > When my wife’s water broke but there were no contractions, it was suggested that she take some mineral oil to help induce labor. I hit every mom and pop pharmacy along Graham Avenue until I finally found one that was open on Sunday morning and carried the stuff. It induced something, but it wasn’t labor. Perhaps the person making that suggestion was unclear on the concept. ---
**Author:** ![vomit\_comet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/73ab20/32.png) [@vomit\_comet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vomit_comet)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/52 "2015-01-28T14:02:33Z")
> [@Alien\_Skyraider](#): > > Milk of Magnesia, it is safe, works quick, doesn’t taste that nasty and in one day your guts will be clean as a whistle. I tried the baby kind once, I could not make it to the toilet and ended up throwing away my perfectly good, yet smelly air bed. Go with the cherry flavored adult one and have an extra 1/2 of a swig just in case… 😛 Just don’t confuse it with milk of amnesia… much different effect. Another vote for prune juice. 6 cups of that will have you squirting real quick. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/53 "2015-01-28T16:12:02Z")
Sugar free gummi bears! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/54 "2015-01-28T16:17:13Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Do zombies use laxatives? > > 😕 You can’t make this shit up. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2015, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/55 "2015-01-29T00:40:41Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Do zombies use laxatives? > > 😕 [Do zombies poop?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=247269&highlight=zombie+poop) ---
**Author:** ![analogqueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@analogqueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/analogqueen)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/56 "2015-01-30T07:14:38Z")
> [@Litoris](#): > > If you want the fastest (same day) laxative that will completely clean you out – you want to get that [Fleet phospho-soda](http://www.phosphosoda.com/consumers/products/phosphosoda.aspx). It is the stuff they have you drink pre-op for major surgery. If you drink it, do not stray from your toilet _at all_. This stuff is not for the weak at heart/stomach/mind. It will clean you out in a day. While it will actually clean you out in less than a day, it continues working pretty much all day 😃 Enjoy. Fleet’s the stuff! Also it’s not one of those oily based things so you won’t get the uh… “leakage”. It provides a predictable (read: expected :)) toilet visit and won’t cause an accident. The warning about BE NEAR A TOILET OMG sounded a bit over-reactive. Another old timey trick is corn silk- from ears of corn from produce aisle. Boil the corn silks, drink the boiled water they were in. It’s the same exact ingredient in natural laxatives. ---
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/57 "2015-01-30T08:10:49Z")
> [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > Well, I’ve been stuck up for a little while now and just want to get this taken care of in one fell swoop. I have no plans to use laxatives routinely (if ever beyond this one time), so I just want to make sure I get something that works. > > Thanks for the suggestions so far. has anyone mentioned something like this: [http://www.mydr.com.au/medicines/cmis/microlax-enema](http://www.mydr.com.au/medicines/cmis/microlax-enema) 10-15 minutes tops ---
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/58 "2015-01-30T08:11:54Z")
:smack:dammit ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/59 "2015-01-30T14:12:05Z")
…Today, 03:10 AM > [@madrabbitwoman](#): > > has anyone mentioned something like this: [http://www.mydr.com.au/medicines/cmis/microlax-enema](http://www.mydr.com.au/medicines/cmis/microlax-enema) > > 10-15 minutes tops Today, 03:11 AM > [@madrabbitwoman](#): > > :smack:dammit Now THAT’s fast acting. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279/60 "2015-01-30T14:39:43Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Do zombies use laxatives? > > 😕 Lurch down to the nearest Jugo Juice and order a large Kale Smoothie. Problem solved. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-laxative/423279.md?page=4)