# Best Line Delivery \[Possible Spoilers\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 23, 2006, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950 "2006-08-23T22:28:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/81 "2006-08-29T18:19:24Z")
And yet another from **Tombstone** : Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Why you doin’ this, Doc? Doc Holliday: Because Wyatt Earp is my friend. Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Friend? Hell, I got lots of friends. Doc Holliday: …I don’t. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/82 "2006-08-29T18:24:18Z")
[QUOTE=Nonsuch] Dennis Farina, in _Get shorty_: **What a buncha fuckin’ bullshit.** It doesn’t sound like much, I know, but the man OWNS that phrase. [/QUOTE] And, along with many of the lines in **Snatch** , Farina’s off-handed, “Tony, do something terrible.” Farina has a gift for plain-talking some really gruesome things. Also from Snatch, Brick-Top’s line, “No thank you, Turkish. I’m sweet enough as it is.” The implied menace is staggering. ---
**Author:** ![LabRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/898d66/32.png) [@LabRat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LabRat)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/83 "2006-08-29T19:02:13Z")
Nice choice, **Miller**. The interaction between Henry and the hapless messenger is one my favourite moments. You can actually see the color drain out of the messenger’s face as he realizes what’s he’s just called down on his entire country. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/84 "2006-08-29T20:25:59Z")
Vivian Leigh as Scarlett O’Hara: “As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!” and in the same movie, Hattie McDaniel: “I’s talking about Mr. Ashley Wilkes. He’ll be coming to Atlanta when he gets his leave - and you sittin’ there waitin’ for him jes’ like a spider.” ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/85 "2006-08-29T22:24:29Z")
_Silverado_: John Cleese plays Sheriff Langston, leading a posse chasing Scott Glenn and Kevin Costner. When they stop to check for tracks, John Glover lets them know he has them perfectly within his sights with his rifle. > [@](#): > > Deputy: That them shootin’? > Sheriff Langston: No, it’s coming from those rocks. > Deputy: Well, let’s go. He ain’t hittin’ nothin’. > Sheriff Langston: You idiot, he’s hit everything he’s aimed at! > Deputy: Well, they ain’t out of our jurisdiction 'til they reach the flattop. > [Sheriff Langston’s hat is shot off his head] > Sheriff Langston: _Today, my jurisdiction ends here. Pick up my hat._ ---
**Author:** ![SuperNelson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@SuperNelson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNelson)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2006, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/86 "2006-08-29T23:50:50Z")
While we’re on _Tombstone_, don’t forget Doc’s last words (spoken while looking at his bootless feet): “This _is_ funny.” ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/87 "2006-08-30T02:35:16Z")
Continuing with the **Snatch** theme (I swear I was thinking about this before I even read those!): For pure delivery, since the line isn’t that special on its own:“Protection from what, Tommy? Ze Germans?” ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/88 "2006-08-30T14:54:22Z")
[QUOTE=Helen’s Eidolon] Continuing with the **Snatch** theme (I swear I was thinking about this before I even read those!): For pure delivery, since the line isn’t that special on its own:“Protection from what, Tommy? Ze Germans?” [/QUOTE] And to continue the theme of the movie, the moment Tommy does, indeed, ‘use’ the gun (the scene when Turkish is getting the hell beaten out of him) “Have you got the minerals?” It’s Tommy’s moment. He’s brave because his friend -needs- him to be brave in order to live. After this, he drops back to being comic relief, but for that one line, we see that Tommy would (literally) threaten four armed men with a gun he knows doesn’t work in order to save Turkish. ---
**Author:** ![Lobelia\_Overhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@Lobelia\_Overhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobelia_Overhill)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/89 "2006-08-30T16:00:23Z")
“Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die” ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/90 "2006-08-30T16:27:51Z")
[QUOTE=dasgupta] Two times in as many weeks that I get to talk about the _USS Indianapolis_ speech from **Jaws** , which Quint concludes with: “So, eleven hundred men went in the water; 316 men come out and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.” Robert Shaw had that scene perfect, from the haunted look in his eyes to the upbeat ending, as if it was all worth it. [/QUOTE] Did you know Shaw wrote that dialog? From [IMDB](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073195/trivia): > [@](#): > > Quint’s tale of the USS Indianapolis was conceived by playwright Howard Sackler, lengthened by screenwriter John Milius and rewritten by Robert Shaw following a disagreement between screenwriters Peter Benchley and Carl Gottlieb. Shaw presented his text, and Benchley and Gottlieb agreed that this was exactly what was needed. Whoever was responsible, Quint got the date of the sinking wrong, claiming it was June 29, 1945, when in reality it was 12:14 am on July 30th, 1945. Universal has toyed with the idea of making the “Indianapolis” incident into a film, using a young Quint as the lead, ever since. A bit pissy on the date of the sinking, but oh well. My favorite is more than just a line. It’s Wilfrid Brimley’s entire scene near the end of Absence of Malice. One gem: "Now we’ll talk all day if you want to. But, come sundown, there’s gonna be two things true that ain’t true now. One is that the United States Department of Justice is goin’ to know what in the good Christ - e’scuse me, Angie - is goin’ on around here. And the other’s I’m gonna have somebody’s ass in muh briefcase. " ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/91 "2006-08-30T16:35:35Z")
Like The Princess Bride and Tombstone, I think O Brother Where Art Thou? Is also chock full of 'em. I don’t know if it’s the writing or the delivery, in most cases; I only know that George Clooney, John Tuturro and Tim Blake Nelson deliver all their funniest lines just perfectly. **Everett** : The blind are reputed to possess sensitivities compensating for their lack of sight, even to the point of developing paranormal psychic powers. Now clearly, seeing into the future would fall into neatly into that category; it’s not so surprising, then, that an organism deprived of its earthly vision… **Pete** : He said we wouldn’t get it! He said we wouldn’t get the treasure we seek on account of our ob-stack-les. _(The best line)_ **Everett** : Well, what the hell does he know? He’s just an ignorant old man. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/92 "2006-08-31T03:04:28Z")
Amy Acker as [Winifred “Fred” Burkle](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winifred_Burkle) to : \*I’m not scared. I’m not scared. I’m not scared. Why can’t I stay?" {dies} Again as Illyria “Would you like me to lie to you now?” (and Alexis Denisof as **Wesley Wyndam-Pryce** when he gives the heart aching reply “Yes, thank you, yes.”) ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/93 "2006-08-31T03:35:08Z")
It’s not in the movie proper, but Nathan Fillion takes the cake when he ad-libs: “Kaylee, find that kid who’s taking a dirt nap with baby Jesus. We need a hood ornament.” - **Captain Malcom Reynolds,** _Serenity_ ---
**Author:** ![daere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@daere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/daere)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/94 "2006-08-31T05:50:34Z")
One of my all-time favorites is in _The Thing_. A body the alien has replicated lies burning on a table. The head stretches off the body, falls to the floor, _sprouts legs_, and tries to scurry off. One of the characters says, sort of resentfully exhausted: You gotta be f\*ckin’ kiddin’ In an obscure movie _House of the Long Shadows_ (a rework of _Seven Keys to Baldpate_). Vincent Price sweeps in and goes into a weird speech “There was never laughter…” Desi Arnaz Jr.(!) asks what he’s doing there, and Price replies, in scornfully aloof Shakespearean tones, Please. Don’t interrupt me whilst I am soliliquizing. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/95 "2006-08-31T12:30:32Z")
[QUOTE=Rocketeer] Cliff Secord has just had his first big flight using the rocketpack; after a series of misadventures, it ends ignominiously as he skitters across a lake and ends up lying in the mud in a clump of cattails. His friend Peevy finds him: “Cliff! Cliff! You all right?” Cliff takes off the helmet and draws a shakey breath: “I…like it!!!” [/QUOTE] That’s another that’s full of great lines. One that’s always good is Paul Sorvino looking up at Cliff as he’s framed by the spotlight, about to take off and rescue the girl: “Go get 'em, kid.” ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/96 "2006-08-31T13:25:11Z")
[QUOTE=Love Rhombus] That’s another that’s full of great lines. One that’s always good is Paul Sorvino looking up at Cliff as he’s framed by the spotlight, about to take off and rescue the girl: “Go get 'em, kid.” [/QUOTE] Evil Nazi actor guy, about to exit the burning zeppelin with Cliff’s rocketpack: “I’ll miss Hollywood.” Cliff, who has taken precautions against this: “I don’t think so.” ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/97 "2006-08-31T13:52:02Z")
[QUOTE=daere] In an obscure movie _House of the Long Shadows_ (a rework of _Seven Keys to Baldpate_). Vincent Price sweeps in and goes into a weird speech “There was never laughter…” Desi Arnaz Jr.(!) asks what he’s doing there, and Price replies, in scornfully aloof Shakespearean tones, Please. Don’t interrupt me whilst I am soliliquizing. [/QUOTE] The scriptwriter was evidently a Gilbert and Sullivan fan. From _The Mikado_: > [@](#): > > **KO-KO.** _(looking after YUM-YUM)._ There she goes! To think how > entirely my future happiness is wrapped up in that little parcel! > Really, it hardly seems worth while! Oh, matrimony!-- _(Enter > POOH-BAH and PISH-TUSH.)_ Now then, what is it? Can’t you see I’m > soliloquizing? You have interrupted an apostrophe, sir! And later, in the same scene… > [@](#): > > **KO-KO.** This is simply appalling! I, who allowed myself to be > respited at the last moment, simply in order to benefit my native > town, am now required to die within a month, and that by a man > whom I have loaded with honours! Is this public gratitude? Is > this— _(Enter Nanki-Poo, with a rope in his hands.)_ Go away, > sir! How dare you? Am I never to be permitted to soliloquize? ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/98 "2006-08-31T15:37:21Z")
Sundance we gotta jump butch I cant swim sundance the fall will probably kill us Approximately but very logical ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/99 "2006-08-31T16:53:05Z")
my fave from LOTR is: “So tell me… friend. When did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness?” The way “friend” crumbles to ashes in his mouth and the disdain he places on “wise” are simply brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950/100 "2006-08-31T18:21:58Z")
I’m back with another one. Realized how much it hit me last night. In the HBO series Carnivale, ‘Management’, a shadowy figure, has the line: (spoiler for the final episode of season one) That is where you are wrong. G-d had nothing to do with Ruthie’s fate. It was Professor Lodz who murdered your friend. Lodz’s dumbfounded response gets me, too, but the chillingness of the way Management says this all just grabs me. I figured out how much it did so when I started quoting that line a lot in City of Heroes when fighting badguys who would say things like, “You’ll never catch me!” or, “I’ll destroy you!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-delivery-possible-spoilers/369950.md?page=6)