# Best line in a Western? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 4, 2010, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279 "2010-05-04T13:48:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/61 "2010-05-05T03:24:50Z")
“I can’t help you, Sundance.” ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/62 "2010-05-05T04:17:57Z")
Yet another from _Unforgiven_: Will Munny: It’s a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he’s got and all he’s ever gonna have. The Schofield Kid: Yeah, well, I guess they had it coming. Will Munny: **We all got it coming, kid.** ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/63 "2010-05-05T08:59:02Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > “Fill your hands, you son of a bitch!” **True Grit** Opened the thread to suggest this. My favorite moment in Wayne’s career. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/64 "2010-05-05T09:06:05Z")
Missed my edit window. Other quotes from _True Grit_: “I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.” - not quite as good as Wayne’s line above, but Duval’s great and he elevates it some. “Now, It’s a rat writ, writ for a rat, and this is lawful service of same!”- just plain funny. In context: > [@](#): > > Mr. Rat, I have a writ here that says you are to stop eating Cheng Lee’s cornmeal forthwith. Now, It’s a rat writ, writ for a rat, and this is lawful service of same! [to Mattie] See? He doesn’t pay any attention to me. [BANG! he shoots the rat] You can’t serve papers on a rat, baby sister. You either kill him or let him be. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/65 "2010-05-05T09:35:05Z")
If I don’t come back, tell mother I love her. Your mother’s dead, Llewelyn. Well then I’ll tell her myself. _No Country for Old Men_ ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/66 "2010-05-05T11:54:18Z")
Jack Beauregard : You shine like the door of a whorehouse. A blind man could spot you ten miles off. Nobody : I like folks to see me. Jack : Maybe folks don’t share your pleasure. and Jack : Folks that throw dirt on you aren’t always trying to hurt you, and folks that pull you out of a jam aren’t always trying to help you. But the main point is : when you’re up to your nose in shit, keep your mouth shut. both from _My Name Is Nobody_ ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/67 "2010-05-05T12:20:07Z")
‘Welcome to fuckin’ Deadwood! Can be combative!" “My oath on this: Every day that the widow sits on her ass in New York City, looks west at sunset and thinks to herself ‘God bless you ignorant cocksuckers in Deadwood, who do strive mightily and at little money to add to my ever-increasing fortune,’ she’ll be safe from the wiles of Al Swearengen.” “I’m sayin’ I had a vision it’d happen. My second of the day. First come when I was watchin’ you and them lawyers on line this morning. They began to slither in my sight like vipers. So as not to puke, I had to close my eyes. The vision went on. Got worse. I saw the vipers in the big nest in Washington. They were takin’ us in the camp for actin’ like we could set our own laws up or organizations and then saw the big vipers decide to strangle and swallow us up every fuckin’ thing we gain here. It was horrible. How could we fuckin’ avoid it? How could we let the vipers in the big nest know that we didn’t wanna cause any fuckin’ trouble?” “How about a nap, a bath and sex with an unfamiliar woman?” “Her gutter mouth, and the widow in an opium stupor: a conversation for the ages.” …and about 500 others. All from the incomparable **Deadwood**. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/68 "2010-05-05T12:27:31Z")
And from **Rustler’s Rhapsody** : Colonel Ticonderoga: Jud, throw another faggot on the fire. Jud: A what? Colonel Ticonderoga: A log! Throw another log on the fire! and Colonel Ticonderoga: Well, hell! We’re gonna be here all day! ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/69 "2010-05-05T14:03:19Z")
“Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?” Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid Here’s another good one from Support Your Local Gunfighter Col. Ames: We share the same ancestors as far back as Adam and Eve. I desire no closer relation than that. ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/70 "2010-05-05T14:20:51Z")
_Hombre:_ Mexican Bandit: Hey, hombre! Look amigo, how close you come! [indicating the wound on his stomach] John Russell: I tried to do better; I think you moved. Mexican Bandit: You can be sure I move! How do you prefer them, eh, tied to a tree? John Russell: That’d be nice. Mexican Bandit: You like to pull the trigger, eh? John Russell: I can do it again for you. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/71 "2010-05-05T14:59:59Z")
**Man** [about Chigurh] Just how dangerous is he? **Carson Wells** Compared to what? The bubonic plague? **Llewelyn Moss** What’s this guy supposed to be, the ultimate bad-ass? **Carson Wells** No, I wouldn’t describe him as that. **Llewelyn Moss** How would you describe him? **Carson Wells** I guess I would say he doesn’t have a sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/72 "2010-05-05T15:10:58Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > I won’t be wronged, I won’t be insulted, I won’t be laid a hand on. I don’t do those things to other people and I require the same of them. They may be a “best line in a western” to you, but I don’t recognize it. That’s even worse than making me link chase to find it. What’s it from? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/73 "2010-05-05T16:35:11Z")
Basically every line from Unforgiven And The Searchers From The Searchers (just before an Indian Charge) For what we’re about to receive may the Lord make us truly thankful. Silverado What’s the matter, don’t you think I can get the two behind me? Today, my jurisdiction ends here. and for me the best is I’ve got to, that’s the whole thing. Will Kane High Noon ---
**Author:** ![wedgehed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8edcca/32.png) [@wedgehed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wedgehed)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/74 "2010-05-05T16:46:36Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > They may be a “best line in a western” to you, but I don’t recognize it. That’s even worse than making me link chase to find it. What’s it from? John Wayne in _The Shootist_. ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/75 "2010-05-05T17:17:35Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > _Jeremiah Johnson_ > > A man in the wilderness is buried up to his neck in the sand. > > Jeremiah: The Injuns put you here? > Del Gue: Tweren’t Mormons. Ah, but you left out the best part: Del: I’ve got a fine horse under me! Jeremiah: Anybody else pass this way? Del: Well, nobody’s passed in front of me. I can’t say much about behind. You wouldn’t happen to have a spare hat, would you? ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/76 "2010-05-05T17:42:48Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Silverado > > What’s the matter, don’t you think I can get the two behind me? > > Today, my jurisdiction ends here. The beginning of that quote was great too: That them shootin’? No, it’s coming from those rocks. Well, let’s go. He ain’t hittin’ nothin’. You idiot, he’s hit everything he’s aimed at! ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/77 "2010-05-05T18:11:49Z")
From El Dorado: Sheriff J. P. Harrah: What the hell are you doin’ here? Cole: I’m lookin’ at a tin star with a… drunk pinned on it. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/78 "2010-05-05T21:47:01Z")
From _No Country For Old Men_, the sheriff: “Well, if it ain’t a mess, it’ll do 'till one shows up.” ---
**Author:** ![JuliaSqueezer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/82dd89/32.png) [@JuliaSqueezer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JuliaSqueezer)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/79 "2010-05-05T22:03:49Z")
Wendell Hickson (Willie Nelson) in _Electirc Horseman_ “Gonna stop over in Las Vegas and see this girl I know. She can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2010, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/80 "2010-05-05T22:16:50Z")
“You elected?” “Nope. Got nominated real good though.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279.md?page=5)