# Best line in a Western? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 4, 2010, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279 "2010-05-04T13:48:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![MsChilePepper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@MsChilePepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsChilePepper)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/81 "2010-05-06T03:31:58Z")
From The Sacketts, wherein Tell Sackett (played by Sam Elliott) has just used his huge knife, aka “Arkansas toothpick”, to gently shave off _half_ of another man’s mustache, and then pours whiskey on it. “Don’t want that to get infected.” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/82 "2010-05-06T03:40:24Z")
> [@JuliaSqueezer](#): > > Wendell Hickson (Willie Nelson) in _Electirc Horseman_ > > “Gonna stop over in Las Vegas and see this girl I know. She can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.” Actually, the quote is: “I’m gonna get me a bottle of tequila and find me one of them Keno girls that can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch and just kinda kick back.” A nice Willie quote, right up there with “It was a long-term loan on a short-term lie.” ---
**Author:** ![mambocrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@mambocrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mambocrow)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/83 "2010-05-06T03:49:02Z")
From the Unforgiven - Little Bill’s one-armed deputy is asked what a one-armed man wants with so many guns (he’s loading three at the time). Deputy’s response is: “If I have to die in a gunfight, I don’t want it to be for lack of shooting back.” ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/84 "2010-05-06T04:35:21Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > So many _Blazing Saddles_ lines… so little time. We were quoting this movie on election night: “Ah said, the president’s a n **CLANG!** ” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/85 "2010-05-06T05:44:15Z")
And from **Rustler’s Rhapsody** : “Get your rifle and come with me, or I’ll shoot your wife in the shoulder.” > [@Tully\_Mars](#): > > “I’m your huckleberry.” What the f\*\*k is that line supposed to _mean_? ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/86 "2010-05-06T05:51:30Z")
Got into this thread too late, as most of my favorites have been taken: > [@silenus](#): > > “Who **are** those guys?” **Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid** > > “Fill your hands, you son of a bitch!” **True Grit** > [@UncleRojelio](#): > > _Lonesome Dove_: > “I hate rude behavior in a man…I won’t tolerate it”. > [@silenus](#): > > “My mistake. Four coffins.” > [@Enright3](#): > > I said I never had much use for one. Never said I didn’t know how to use it. > ~Quigley Down Under shoots three people with a Colt revolver. It was assumed he didn’t know how to use it. > [@StusBlues](#): > > I won’t be wronged, I won’t be insulted, I won’t be laid a hand on. I don’t do those things to other people and I require the same of them. > [@zamboniracer](#): > > “Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?” Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid One to add - Butch and the Kid: “Drown? Hell, the fall will probably kill you.” ---
**Author:** ![Ispolkom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47774/32.png) [@Ispolkom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ispolkom)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/87 "2010-05-06T05:54:18Z")
I’m old school. From _The Virginian_ “Smile when you say that.” ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/88 "2010-05-06T06:20:07Z")
One of my favorites is from _Dirty Harry_: “I know what yer thinkin…did he fire six shots, or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all the confusion, I lost track myself. So what you have to ask yourself is … are you feelin lucky?” I don’t know if _Dirty Harry_ is technically considered a Western but it **is** set in San Francisco… ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/89 "2010-05-06T08:10:57Z")
Tombstone: Doc Holliday: I have not even begun to defile myself! When Doc was so drunk that he was seeing double; I have two guns. One for each of you. And another Doc, from another western; Doc Brown: Marty, we all have to make decisions that affect the course of our lives. You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do. And I’ve gotta do what I’ve gotta do. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/90 "2010-05-06T08:18:53Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > What the f\*\*k is that line supposed to _mean_? Being someone’s Huckleberry is to be their true friend. [worldwidewords.org](http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-huc1.htm) > [@](#): > > Quite how I’m your huckleberry came out of all that with the sense of the man for the job isn’t obvious. It seems that the word came to be given as a mark of affection or comradeship to one’s partner or sidekick. There is often an identification of oneself as a willing helper or assistant about it, as here in True to Himself, by Edward Stratemeyer, dated 1900: “ ‘I will pay you for whatever you do for me.’ ‘Then I’m your huckleberry. Who are you and what do you want to know?’ ”. Despite the obvious associations, it doesn’t seem to derive directly from Mark Twain’s books. ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/91 "2010-05-06T11:24:33Z")
When you want to shoot , shoot . Don’t talk ! “The Good the Bad and the Ugly” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/92 "2010-05-06T17:44:17Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Being someone’s Huckleberry is to be their true friend. > [worldwidewords.org](http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-huc1.htm) Still doesn’t explain the way Doc used it though, does it? Or am I dense? ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/93 "2010-05-06T19:54:38Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Still doesn’t explain the way Doc used it though, does it? Or am I dense? Follow the link provided by **Zebra**. The key is in this part of the citation: “To be one’s huckleberry — usually as the phrase _I’m your huckleberry_ — is to be just the right person for a given job, or a willing executor of some commission.” When Doc responds to Ringo’s drunken demand to the Earps\*, he’s offering himself as the appropriate foil. As he explains later in the film during their final showdown, “We started a game we never got to finish. ‘Play for Blood,’ remember?” \*[sub]“I want your blood. And I want your souls. And I want 'em both right now!”[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/94 "2010-05-06T20:18:46Z")
Jackson (an Indian farmhand) to Kid Shelleen (Lee Marvin) who is on the fourth day after a three day drunk- Jackson: Good Lord Kid! Your eyes! Shelleen: You oughtta see 'em from my side… # _Cat Ballou_ A teenaged girl (possibly a prostitute) is apologizing to her father (Walter Brennan), telling him she’s not sure she killed the mark/trick (Jimmy Stewart) she just took into the back of the cave where her father operates his piracy operation. Pirate (Brennan): Well done, daughter. Girl: I ain’t so sure. He was hard-muscled. I could feel the blade just kinda skitter along his ribs. Pirate: Aw, you just need more practice, that’s all. It’s a pity you ain’t got the knack your ma had… Lord rest her soul. _How the West Was Won_ ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/95 "2010-05-06T20:23:35Z")
> [@Walloon](#): > > John Wayne in _McLintock!_ (1963): Pardon the hijack, but there was an episode of M_A_S\*H on which Radar, imitating John Wayne, performed that line- 10 years before the movie premiered.😛 ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/96 "2010-05-07T01:19:11Z")
Radar was implied to be psychic in the TV show, and was explicitly psychic in the novel series. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/97 "2010-05-07T01:40:33Z")
All of Silverado is finely crafted. ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/98 "2010-05-07T02:17:46Z")
From **A Fistful of Dollars** (and surprised I’m first to it): "You see, that’s what I want to talk to you about. He’s feelin’ real bad. (Huh?) My mule! You see, he got all riled up when you went and fired those shots at his feet. (Hey, you makin’ some kinda joke?) Mmm, no! You see, I understand you men were just playin’ around, but the mule, he just doesn’t get it! Course, if you were to all apologize… (_laughter_) I don’t think it’s nice, you laughin’. You see, my mule don’t like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you’re laughin’ at him. Now if you apologize, like I know you’re going to, I might convince him that you really didn’t mean it." ---
**Author:** ![Panurge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/fbc32d/32.png) [@Panurge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Panurge)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/99 "2010-05-07T09:02:58Z")
_Dead Man_: Nobody: "That weapon will replace your tongue. You will learn to speak through it. And your poetry will now be written with blood. " also: “Stupid fucking white man” ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2010, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/100 "2010-05-07T14:51:56Z")
My all-time favorite is from Little Big Man: > [@Old Lodge Skins (Chief Dan George)](#): > > Some days the magic works. > Some days it doesn’t. Working in IT, I have found this saying is almost always appropriate. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279.md?page=6)