# Best line in a Western? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 4, 2010, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279 "2010-05-04T13:48:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Dante\_G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@Dante\_G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante_G)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/161 "2016-05-23T20:08:42Z")
From _ **Young Guns** _ Billy the Kid interrupts Dick Brewer’s dinner prayer … Billy - “Jeeze Dick it’s gettin’ cold” Brewer draws his guns… Billy pulls his faster. Billy - “I coulda killed ya Dick. I coulda killed ya. But I don’t wanna kill ya… I wanna eat.” ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/162 "2016-05-23T20:15:56Z")
“Authentic Frontier Gibberish” ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/163 "2016-05-23T20:16:41Z")
From **The Revenant** : Boone: I’m actually starting to miss my wife’s cooking. Stubby Bill: Shit, I’m actually startin’ to miss your wife. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/164 "2016-05-23T21:20:40Z")
You think Pike and old Sykes haven’t been watchin’ us. They know what this is all about - and what do I have? Nothin’ but you egg-suckin’, chicken stealing gutter trash with not even sixty rounds between you. We’re after men - and I wish to God I was with them. The next time you make a mistake, I’m going to ride off and let you die. _The Wild Bunch_ ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/165 "2016-05-23T22:25:26Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Thanks for clearing that up. I’m all about fighting ignorance.😃 ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/166 "2016-05-23T23:23:17Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > And of course, from\*\* Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid\*\*: > > > [@](#): > > > > Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii- [INDENT]-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttt![/INDENT] ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/167 "2016-05-24T01:31:10Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > “We deal in lead, friend.” > > “You’re a low-down yankee liar!” > “Prove it.” > > Anyone that doesn’t recognize either reference should be escorted from the Dope. Immediately. Should we escort out people who post one already [mentioned](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12415790&postcount=48) in the thread? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/168 "2016-05-24T01:51:58Z")
Grimes: Mister, you’ve got alot of hard bark on you walkin’ down here like this. Now, I owe you. You put two holes in me. John Russell: Usually enough for most of 'em. Grimes: Don’t try it again, that Vaquero is more than a fair hand. Grimes: You got the money? John Russell: Guess I brought my dirty laundry down by mistake. Grimes: Let me see it. John Russell: Look for yourself. Grimes: [opens bag, pulls out a handful of clothes] Well now, what’ya suppose hell’s gonna look like? John Russell: We all die, just a question of when. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/169 "2016-05-24T02:34:47Z")
“… see you soon…Idi…” “Idiot. Its for you.” [Cite.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlA35y0bGQc) -TGTBTU “Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch…?” [Cite.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHXK2t50S-8) -Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid “Well, they ain’t out of our jurisdiction 'til they reach the flattop.” [Sheriff Langston’s hat is shot off his head] “Today, my jurisdiction ends here.” _pause_ “…Pick up my hat.” [Cite.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SN3lRUoRXA) -Silverado “Hey there, Mr. Swedish Champion. Are you done? Stay down now, unless you’re still fightin’…” [Cite.](https://youtu.be/N-ApVF8OVxI?t=166) -The Quick and the Dead ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/170 "2016-05-24T03:53:25Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > Should we escort out people who post one already [mentioned](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12415790&postcount=48) in the thread? 🙂 😛 do as I SAY, not as I DO 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/171 "2016-05-24T05:30:15Z")
_You wanna know what your boy did? I pulled my BIG, BLACK, PECKER outta my pants. And I made him crawl in the snow on all fours over to it. Then I grabbed a handful of that black hair at the back of his head … and I stuck my Big Black Johnson right down his goddamn throat! And it was fulla’ blood … so it was warm. Oh, you bet your sweet ass it was warm. And Charles Chester Smithers sucked on that warm black dingus for as looong as he could. Hahahaahaha! Startin’ to see pictures, ain’t ya?_ * * * _Yeah, Warren, that’s the problem with old men. You can kick 'em down the stairs and say it’s an accident, but you can’t just shoot 'em._ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/172 "2016-05-24T16:28:10Z")
_The little bastard shot me in the ass!_ ---
**Author:** ![OHS201](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/6de8d8/32.png) [@OHS201](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OHS201)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/173 "2016-05-24T21:03:25Z")
Feathers [Angie Dickinson]: This isn’t the first time that handbill has come up. I’d like to know what to do about it. John T. Chance[John Wayne]: Well, you could quit playing cards… wearing feathers. Feathers: No, sheriff. No, I’m not going to do that. You see… that’s what I’d do if I were the kind of girl that you think I am. Feathers: I thought you were never going to say it. John T. Chance: Say what? Feathers: That you love me. John T. Chance: I said I’d arrest you. Feathers: It means the same thing, you know that. – Rio Bravo ---
**Author:** ![denquixote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@denquixote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/denquixote)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/174 "2016-05-24T21:04:28Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Why are the greatest American movies Westerns? Okay, I’ve been around the history of American popular culture long enough to know this, but what are the thoughts of others? I think I would have to challenge your premise. My favorite movies fall into a variety of categories and if truth be told my favorite westerns are comedies. ---
**Author:** ![denquixote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@denquixote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/denquixote)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/175 "2016-05-24T21:29:54Z")
The AFI list was created in 1998 but my guess is that you are not arguing that there have been a large number of the best ever created since then. Highest on the list at number 33 was High Noon and only 6 others made the top 100. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2016, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/176 "2016-05-26T15:46:16Z")
> [@denquixote](#): > > …if truth be told my favorite westerns are comedies. _Texas isn’t even a state. How big can it **be**?!?_ ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2016, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/177 "2016-05-26T15:53:52Z")
One of my favorites: John Cleese: “Today, my jurisdiction ends here!” ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2016, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/178 "2016-05-27T00:19:56Z")
Well, \*Quigley Down Under \*isn’t what I would call a “traditional Western” but the period is right, even if is set in Australia. And Tom Selleck, playing Quigley, was SO hot. Major Ashley-Pitt: In our experience, Americans are uncouth misfits who should be run out of their own barbaric country. Matthew Quigley: Well, Lieutenant… Major Ashley-Pitt: Major. Matthew Quigley: Major. We already run the misfits outta our country. _(spits out a gout of chewing tobacco)_ We sent 'em back to England. ---
**Author:** ![Walker\_in\_Eternity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/46a35a/32.png) [@Walker\_in\_Eternity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walker_in_Eternity)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2016, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/179 "2016-05-27T07:48:57Z")
> [@The\_Tooth](#): > > From **The Outlaw Josie Wales** > > **Lone Watie** : How did you know which one was goin’ to shoot first? > **Josie Wales** : Well, that one in the center: he had a flap holster and he was in no itchin’ hurry. And the one second from the left: he had scared eyes, he wasn’t gonna do nothin’. But that one on the far left: he had crazy eyes. Figured him to make the first move. > **Lone Watie** : How 'bout the one on the right? > **Josie Wales** : Never paid him no mind; you were there. > \*\*Lone Watie \*\*(after a very, very long pause): I could have missed. > > \*\*The Outlaw Josie Wales \*\*is the Buckaroo Banzai of westerns when it comes to great lines. I reckon so. ---
**Author:** ![What\_the](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f4b2a3/32.png) [@What\_the](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_the)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2016, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279/180 "2016-05-28T18:48:54Z")
“Badges…etc.” (only looked thru the first page and it may even be there…yeah, I’m lazy) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-line-in-a-western/538279.md?page=10)