# Best lines for "picking up" women **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 2004, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043 "2004-12-10T00:56:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jgroub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b77776/32.png) [@jgroub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jgroub)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/1 "2004-12-10T00:56:01Z")
Since we’re all a bunch of geeks in here 🙂 , I thought I would do us all a public service by asking what the best pick-up lines are. OK, how about just doing me the service? 😉 When you give your line, please also identify the location. Here are some locations to prime your brain. 1. You’re in a bar. 2. You’re in a library/bookstore. 3. You’re in Starbucks/coffeehouse. 4. You’re in a laundromat. 5. You’re on the subway/metro/bus. 6. You’re in the gym. What locations are better than others, in your experience? And also: Ever been slapped (or some similarly negative response, like having a drink poured over your head) for a line? ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/2 "2004-12-10T00:58:18Z")
Well, I literally picked up a woman (as in “swept her off her feet”) once, but she was easy. I can deadlift 300 lbs., and she was a mere 100 lbs. She slapped me shortly thereafter. Tripler Damned near lost a tooth on that slap, too . . . :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/3 "2004-12-10T01:00:09Z")
One lousy reply (from **Tripler** no less – that guy can usually barely string two words together) and my joke has already been used. Nuts. \*:: kicks dirt :: \* ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/4 "2004-12-10T01:00:28Z")
Well, sonny, the best pickup line is no pickup line at all. Sincerity is usually preferable to glibness. But I’m a guy, and I haven’t tried to pull a bird in 15 years, except for my wife, who I actually do use pickup lines on, but that’s a different story… ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/5 "2004-12-10T01:04:12Z")
1-6. (Me) begins to approach woman. Attempts to think of clever/sweet line. Decides that will fail and begins to panic that one of two things will escape mouth: 1. uh… so… 2. [Insert desperate plea here] (Me) decides that doing nothing is a safe bet for avoiding rejection, returns to own table/seat to drink beer. ---
**Author:** ![gfloyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d2c977/32.png) [@gfloyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gfloyd)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/6 "2004-12-10T01:05:12Z")
To quote a song, with a title I can’t remember, from Dancehall Crashers, the girl gets all sorts of sleazy pick lines, she falls for the guy that’s honest. It went like, “I sat next to him and he said “Hi, my name is Steve,” “Can I buy you a drink, marry you, anything?”” Wow, that’s incoherent. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/7 "2004-12-10T01:06:23Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > One lousy reply (from **Tripler** no less – that guy can usually barely string two words together) and my joke has already been used. > \* Me no like your quote. Me pick you up like HULK and take you to cave. You woman? No care. Say you, I cannot not string words together in the Queen’s English, but me make good joke. Me no care. Me sulk now. Tripler Me sad. ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/8 "2004-12-10T01:13:08Z")
“I really like you. You don’t sweat much for a fat girl.” ---
**Author:** ![raindog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@raindog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raindog)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/9 "2004-12-10T01:27:33Z")
1. Are you as easy to talk to as you are to look at? 2. Do you have a mirror in your panties? Because I can see myself in them… ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/10 "2004-12-10T01:29:59Z")
So, here I am. Tell me, what were your other two wishes? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/11 "2004-12-10T01:35:02Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > Me no like your quote. Me pick you up like HULK and take you to cave. You woman? No care. Say you, I cannot not string words together in the Queen’s English, but me make good joke. > > Me no care. Me sulk now. > > Tripler > Me sad. **Tripler** teased on message board. **Tripler** just trying to make joke, have fun. **Tripler** not need reminder of grammatical deficencies. **Tripler** not appreciate it, but **Tripler** can keep his cool. **Tripler** knows **Giraffe** just big dumb loser with really fat head. What’s this? **Tripler** also messed up coding in quote tag? **Tripler** angry! **Tripler SMASH!!** ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/12 "2004-12-10T01:45:29Z")
I’ve shared this before, but the best line ever used on me was “Can I befriend you?” He was my first love… And over 25 years after we met, he tracked me down on line and we’ve been IMing for almost 3 years now. I’d say that was a pretty good line. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/13 "2004-12-10T02:00:37Z")
Me like **Giraffe** joke. Make me laugh. Me think of ‘grammatical deficiencies’ and make me angry. Me no smart. Me no grammar have! Me mad! Me smash!! Grrrrrr!! Me smash monitor!!! Me smash keyboarza’diobgh a;sjkldforg;LMKNSDV a’klshdg’gh ---
**Author:** ![Glassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ea666f/32.png) [@Glassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glassy)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/14 "2004-12-10T02:08:41Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > Me no smart. Me no grammar have! Me mad! Me smash!! Grrrrrr!! When a guy comes on to me with this line, it always makes me hot. You know, just to get back to the OP. ---
**Author:** ![bonzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@bonzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bonzer)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/15 "2004-12-10T03:27:02Z")
> [@jgroub](#): > > 1. You’re in a bar. Hi, my name is …, > [@](#): > > 1. You’re in a library/bookstore. Hi, my name is …, > [@](#): > > 1. You’re in Starbucks/coffeehouse. Hi, my name is …, > [@](#): > > 1. You’re in a laundromat. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me … > [@](#): > > 1. You’re on the subway/metro/bus. Hi, my name is …, > [@](#): > > 1. You’re in the gym. Hi, my name is …, Though in my recent experience, just snogging them seems remarkably succussful. But you probably do have to pick the right girl. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/16 "2004-12-10T03:38:41Z")
All I wanna do is a zoom-a-zoom-zoom in ya boom-boom ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/17 "2004-12-10T06:15:41Z")
All you wanna do is pick up a girl? Prob noblem. Step 1. “If I can’t guess your weight, I’ll buy you a drink/buy you a latte/buy you a book/fold your laundry.” Step 2. Pick her up, physically. Step 3. Guess low, if you want to stay healthy. Step 4. Buy her a drink/latte/book/fold her laundry. Step 5. Hey, I got you this far. As the Texan said, “Yawn yown.” ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/18 "2004-12-10T06:53:39Z")
> [@An Arky](#): > > Well, sonny, the best pickup line is no pickup line at all. Sincerity is usually preferable to glibness. Great. Now, how do I fake that? ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/19 "2004-12-10T08:14:50Z")
Well, you could always try Black Mage’s approach: [http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010503](http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010503) [http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010505](http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010505) [http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010506](http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010506) [http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010509](http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010509) [http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010511](http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010511) [http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010514](http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010514) Now see, it’s his last approach that worked. Sort of. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2004, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043/20 "2004-12-10T10:05:39Z")
**Bonzer’s** final suggestion works very well. I’d trust him on that one. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-lines-for-picking-up-women/279043.md?page=2)