# Best "Macho Movie"? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 21, 2003, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501 "2003-02-21T06:01:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MovieBud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@MovieBud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieBud)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/1 "2003-02-21T06:01:57Z")
What is the best macho movie ever made? To be considered a “macho movie”, it must contain most of these charactersitics: - The villain has no redeeming qualities. - Things will be blown up. - Guns will be fired and meaningless characters will be killed. - The main character won’t say much but he will say some catchy things. - A woman or child will be kidnapped. - There will be hand-to-hand combat to prove who is really the toughest. - Someone will have a very cool vehicle. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/2 "2003-02-21T06:03:23Z")
“Thelma and Louise”. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/3 "2003-02-21T06:15:42Z")
Although I disagree, my brother receantly proclaimed _Reign of Fire_ as the ultimate alpha-male movie. ---
**Author:** ![Lilly\_Putt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Lilly\_Putt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lilly_Putt)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/4 "2003-02-21T07:14:32Z")
“Phallus in Wonderland” by GWAR, has every single quality you describe. They have quite a few “movies,” But this one is actually pretty good if you ask me. Although the kidnapping in question is not a woman or child, it is pretty twisted. I am laughing just thinking about it. (The kidnapping is much more “personal” in nature.) ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/5 "2003-02-21T08:51:38Z")
_Versus_ by Ryuhei Kitamura gets a vote from me. Don’t understand Japanese? Doesn’t matter with this movie. It’s got: - kung-fu - swordfighting - gunfighting - **BIG GUN** fighting - rival clans of gangsters - escapees from prison - kidnapped cutie in need of rescue - ancient curses - gateways to Hell - and zombies, zombies, zombies! This movie is insanely violent, but so ridiculously over-the-top that even my blood-shy wife was laughing herself silly by the end of it. Plus, it’s got a great take on the over-used _Matrix_-style bullet dodging (Hint: it don’t do jack against an RPG) ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/6 "2003-02-21T08:54:04Z")
Oh, come on. It’s _Die Hard_, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/7 "2003-02-21T09:08:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blowero \* > \*\*Oh, come on. It’s _Die Hard_, of course. \*\* Naw. I spent the movie rooting for Alan Rickman. ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/8 "2003-02-21T11:28:46Z")
The _Lone Wolf And Cub_ series from Japan. The head of the Yagyu clan is as nasty and underhanded as can be. But most of the films have other lesser villains who are fairly nasty. Including a Buddhist monk who is considered a living Buddha since he has attained enlightenment, but he’s also a crime lord. A team of assassins who tunnel underground to get to their targets and kill anyone Ogami Itto and son (the main characters) come in contact to isolate them since they are so hard to kill. Things, hell, these flicks blow up people. Gotcha guns, a whole babycart full of them. As for meaningless deaths, the body count in these films must average out to over 100 in each of the six films. Ogami Itto says very little but constantly refers to his son and himself as demons standing at the crossroads of Hell. The son gets kidnapped a few times. They are samurai flims, so lots of brutal swordfights and hand to hand action, remember the body count. Cool vehicle: A babycart packed with spring loaded blades, knives and spears hidden in the handles and frame, an array of muskets mounted in the front behind a drop away panel, a musket ball proof iron plate mounted in the bottom (tip the cart up to use), and yet the damn thing floats! ---
**Author:** ![Mothchunks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a587f6/32.png) [@Mothchunks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mothchunks)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/9 "2003-02-21T12:39:37Z")
ALL YOUR LESBIANS ARE BELONG TO US ---
**Author:** ![vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@vandal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vandal)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/10 "2003-02-21T15:22:23Z")
That would be **Commando**. “I eat Green Berets for breakfast!” “Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?” “That’s right, Matrix. You did!” “I lied.” Come on, who couldn’t love a movie like Commando? It even comes complete with a kidnapped Alyssa Milano! ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/11 "2003-02-21T15:48:42Z")
The Road Warrior. It may be missing one or two elements, but it makes up for them in the other categories. ---
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/12 "2003-02-21T16:24:29Z")
What about **Predator**? Although I always thought that **Dirty Dozen** was the _ultimate_ macho movie. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/13 "2003-02-21T16:28:12Z")
FEH!!! _Army of Darkness_. Though I admit to never having seen _Versus_ wich I will try to soon. ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/14 "2003-02-21T16:45:08Z")
How about _Hard-Boiled_? - The villain has no redeeming qualities. **Check** - Things will be blown up. **Check** - Guns will be fired and meaningless characters will be killed. **Check times ten!** - The main character won’t say much but he will say some catchy things. **Check** - A woman or child will be kidnapped. **How about a hospital full of nurses, patients, and babies held hostage?** - There will be hand-to-hand combat to prove who is really the toughest. **Hmm, I don’t recall too much h-t-h; too much shooting going on.** - Someone will have a very cool vehicle. **Well, maybe not this one.** ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/15 "2003-02-21T16:58:28Z")
**Hard Boiled** is definitely in my top five choices. The best point to prove the villain’s lack of redeeming qualities: [spoiler] One of the good guys and an honorable bad guy are fighting in the hospital. In the midst of it, they come across a group of nurses and patients, and decide to let them go before picking up the fight. The main villain comes in, looks at them, says “What’s all this?”, grabs a machine gun, and mows them all down. Wonderful Also, John Woo’s **The Killer** is a VERY macho movie. If you thought the body count in **Hard Boiled** was big (which it was), the chapel scene in this movie is GARGANTUAN! **Yojimbo** is another really good samurai type film. No guns, but hell, what are guns compared to people street fighting and cuting one another down with swords. The “hero” of the film is a samurai for hire who plays two rival gangs against one another and eventually slaughteres EVERYONE IN THE VILLAGE minus two people who helped him out (or was it one? I can’t remember) For more updated and American movies, you gotta admit, **Rambo** is high on the list. Exploding arrow to the gut of the main baddy…gotta love it. For even more updated, you have to admit, **Fight Club** is probably the best. The whole movie’s about what it is to be a man, and the number of scenes of people just beating the crap out of each other with their bare hands…brutal. There’s kidnapping, there’s explosions, there’s not much gun fire, but a guy shoots himself in the face, blows out his jawbone, and continues to just stand around and talk to people! That’s fucking macho! I ask you, how much more macho could this movie be? ---
**Author:** ![MeanJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanjoe/32/5693_2.png) [@MeanJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanJoe)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/16 "2003-02-21T17:05:24Z")
I’ll get flamed for this but… Starship Troopers d&r ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/17 "2003-02-21T17:06:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 2trew \* > \*\*The Road Warrior. It may be missing one or two elements, but it makes up for them in the other categories. \*\* THANK you! The debate is over. Except for the hero saying something catchy (he pretty much says nothing at all) The Road Warrior hits every one of the criteria. How can you top a movie where women wear football shoulder pads as clothing? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/18 "2003-02-21T17:54:24Z")
I have to second the vote for _Army of Darkness_, using a important pop-culture indicator: the number of lines stolen from it for the first-person shooter video game _Duke Nukem 3D_. Duke Nukem is, of course, the testosterone-drenched oiled-up gun-totin’ muscleman mowing down aliens and ogling naked chicks as he runs through a series of infested buildings and spacecraft. Not a lot of heavy-duty social commentary is allowed to intrude. I’d also vote for _They Live_, which is macho in an embittered working-class blue-collar kinda way. The undercover alien villians are Reaganite yuppies running the economy into the ground (including throwing people like hero Roddy Piper out of work) just to make themselves rich. Piper and David Keith get into a huge 5.5-minute (!) fistfight, and this ain’t one of your sissified kung-fu dustups, either. It a solid and extended bout of head-buttin’, fist-smashin’ and multiple-knees-indanutz. One of Piper’s lines: “I have come to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I’m all outta gum!” is delivered just before he starts shotgunning bank customers. This sparkling witticism also found its way into _Duke Nukem_. Ah, that felt good. Now, excuse me, I’ve gotta go rip off an alien’s head and shit down his neck. ---
**Author:** ![Ich\_Bin\_s](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Ich\_Bin\_s](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ich_Bin_s)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/19 "2003-02-21T18:25:00Z")
Yes, I cried at the end of **Babe** , the part where he says "That’ll … Wait. Oh crap. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501/20 "2003-02-21T19:36:40Z")
First Blood. “What you call hell, he calls home.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-macho-movie/156501.md?page=2)