# Best Marge Simpson lines... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 23, 2003, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190 "2003-10-23T20:39:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/1 "2003-10-23T20:39:09Z")
Okay, I know she’s usually the “straight guy” and doesn’t get as many good zingers as Homer, but let’s give the little lady her due. (Re: Troy McClure) “Oh Homer! That’s just an urban legend. People don’t do that sort of thing with fish.” (Homer knocks over a statue of a doe with his car.) H: "D’oh!’ L: “A deer!” M: “A female deer!” (On seeing Ren & Stimpy during a clips episode) M: How can you watch that same cartoon again? B: It’s not the same Mom, it’s old footage that’s spliced in with new material to make it seem new to our impressionable young minds." L: “Ren & Stimpy” do it all the time! M: Yes they do, and when is the last time you heard anyone talking about “Ren & Stimpy”? (spoken on several occasions) “Now let us never speak of these events again!” ---
**Author:** ![Baggins111](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@Baggins111](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baggins111)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/2 "2003-10-23T20:46:31Z")
“I don’t know, Homey. \ doesn’t sound like a good idea to me.” and of course, “Hmmmmmmmmmmm!” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/3 "2003-10-23T21:18:32Z")
I’m a little unsure about this one, but it goes something like… “My uncle Charlie had a saying. Shoot them all and let God sort them out. Unfortunately, one day he decided to put his theory into practice and it took 10 state patrolmen to bring him down. Now, let’s never speak of this again.” Feel free to correct any inaccuracies. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/4 "2003-10-24T00:08:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Art Vandelay, Architect \* > **(Re: Troy McClure) > "Oh Homer! That’s just an urban legend. People don’t do that sort of thing with fish."** Who told you?! ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/5 "2003-10-24T00:16:10Z")
Funny for it’s context. Homer does something very very unique and unlikely Marge: “Not again!” ---
**Author:** ![DaPearl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5e925/32.png) [@DaPearl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaPearl)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/6 "2003-10-24T00:26:47Z")
“When my family had the option to come either to Springfield or Stenchberg they chose Springfield. You know why? Because they know Jebediah Springfield is an American hero, end of story.” ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/7 "2003-10-24T00:31:59Z")
Upon seeing Homer’s IOU to Patty and Selma projected onto the ceiling by a lamp: “Homer! Is this projection accurate??” ---
**Author:** ![Sketch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Sketch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sketch)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/8 "2003-10-24T00:53:47Z")
Girls Lisa, boys kiss girls. ---
**Author:** ![fiddlesticks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddlesticks/32/18129_2.png) [@fiddlesticks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fiddlesticks)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/9 "2003-10-24T01:03:53Z")
“I’m not going to live in a house of evil just to save a few dollars!” ---
**Author:** ![DaPearl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5e925/32.png) [@DaPearl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaPearl)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/10 "2003-10-24T01:14:33Z")
When Lisa suggests God could be a woman: “Don’t listen to her Mr. Lord! She doesn’t mean it!” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/11 "2003-10-24T01:33:07Z")
“You’ve just been Marge-inalized!” -after beating up a man who mugged her earlier in the episode ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/12 "2003-10-24T18:46:47Z")
Although Marge is believed to be a great cook, she doesn’t seem to know as much about cooking as you think. Looking at a spice rack in a flea market: “_Eight_ spices? Some must be repeats…‘Ore_gan_o…’ What the hell?” ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/13 "2003-10-25T10:28:29Z")
Along the same lines… “The secret ingredient is salt!” Also… (paraphrasing) M: “Lisa, people will tell you you can’t change a man. I say those women are quitters. When I met your father he was lazy and now he’s a changed man.” L: “Um… Mom” M: “He’s a changed man.” ---
**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/14 "2003-10-25T16:08:17Z")
“Who’s Disco Stu?” ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/15 "2003-10-25T16:44:15Z")
(taking steaming bowl from microwve) “Kids, come get your soup while it’s still incredibly hot!” in the same scene Homer says “Ooh, I hate that icky soup skin.” ---
**Author:** ![Elycien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/48db29/32.png) [@Elycien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elycien)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/16 "2003-10-25T17:31:52Z")
Marge gets mugged and ends up getting incredibly buffed up then enters a body building contest. Paraphrased. Marge: Second place!! I didn’t give up my period for second place!! ---
**Author:** ![Alias](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@Alias](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alias)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2003, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/17 "2003-10-25T23:35:33Z")
In “The Shinning”, when asked if Homer was going to come back and murder them all. “We’re just going to have to wait and see. . .” ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/18 "2003-10-26T00:08:50Z")
To ex-con Michael Keaton: “Oh, everybody shoots Apu. It’s only a hundred dollar fine now.” ---
**Author:** ![Dignan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Dignan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dignan)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2003, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/19 "2003-10-26T00:42:13Z")
After Lisa and the rest of the Springfield Elementary band are robbed by a rival band that used glow sticks there is an exchange that goes a little something like this: Marge: (says something about the fair) Lisa: You mean the state _un_fair. Marge: Yes, Lisa. That’s what I mean. The state _un_fair. :rolleyes: Bart: _Zing!_ Anyone better versed in The Simpsons feel free to correct where necessary. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2003, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-marge-simpson-lines/209190/20 "2003-10-26T01:08:24Z")
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