# Best Martial Art In A Zombie Attack? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 14, 2021, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014 "2021-12-14T01:08:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/21 "2021-12-14T04:05:35Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > 2 I too would pay good money to see Jackie fight the walking dead. If you’ll accept Sammo Hung (who grew up with JC) instead of Jackie Chan, and vampires instead of zombies, then you’re in luck! https://www.youtube.com/embed/W4O5n2Z4IoQ?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque Fast forward to about 1:35 or so, or be prepared to be completely baffled by the contextless goofiness that I’m unprepared to explain beforehand. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/22 "2021-12-14T04:25:10Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > vampires instead of zombies It doesn’t look much like a vampire, but I found the jerky way that thing moves with the primitive special effects to be quite disturbing. Reminiscent of the Weeping Angels in Doctor Who. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/23 "2021-12-14T04:26:54Z")
Hey, it was 1980. At the ass end of The Shaw Brothers era. And the vampire was stiff because of rigor mortis. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/24 "2021-12-14T04:35:01Z")
But you’re not going to explain why throwing eggs inhibits vampire resurrection? ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/25 "2021-12-14T04:41:41Z")
Chicken eggs, specifically. Unfortunately there are some duck eggs in there. That’s when hijinks ensue. Some witch or something told him to do it. Look, it’s been probably 25 yrs since I’ve seen it. It’s a goofy movie and doesn’t take itself too seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/26 "2021-12-14T04:45:11Z")
> [@Horatius](#): > > The problem with wrestling is that you’re also more likely to end up on the ground, which is fine in a one on one fight, but that’s not how Zombies fight. On the ground is exactly where you _don’t_ want to be when in the middle of a horde. What martial art is going to help me if I’m fighting against a horde of zombies anyway? In such a situation, my best bet is to find the thinnest part of the horde and make a break for it. A martial art with an emphasis on strikes such as karate, boxing, or taekwondo will prove largely ineffective as I cannot inflict pain upon my foe and bone crushing blows to the skull are more likely to result in my bones being the ones crushed. If I am knocked to the ground, well, like I said, as a wrestler I’m experienced at escaping. But if I’m surrounded my a horde wrestling isn’t likely to be all that useful. I don’t think any martial art would be effective in such a situation. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/27 "2021-12-14T04:51:15Z")
Has any investigation of zombies, in fact or fiction, questioned whether there’s anything so bad about becoming a zombie (or vampire, for that matter)? There seems to be an axiomatic assumption that being a zombie is a seriously undesirable condition – but does anybody know? ETA: > [@Odesio](#): > > . . . as I cannot inflict pain . . . See, for example, this observation seems to suggest that being a zombie has some advantages. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/28 "2021-12-14T05:13:17Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Has any investigation of zombies, in fact or fiction, questioned whether there’s anything so bad about becoming a zombie (or vampire, for that matter)? There seems to be an axiomatic assumption that being a zombie is a seriously undesirable condition – but does anybody know? Richard Matheson’s _I Am Legend_. > **[I Am Legend (novel)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_Legend_(novel))** > > I Am Legend is a 1954 post-apocalyptic horror novel by American writer Richard Matheson that was influential in the modern development of zombie and vampire literature and in popularizing the concept of a worldwide apocalypse due to disease. The novel was a success and was adapted into the films The Last Man on Earth (1964), The Omega Man (1971), and I Am Legend (2007). It was also an inspiration for George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968). > Set on Cimarron Street in 1976 Los Angeles a... The last (as far as he knows) non-vampire on Earth discovers that the vampires (seemlingly living-dead victims of a brutal pandemic plague) aren’t the brutish bloodsucking monsters he thought they were. They have a society and have come to regard _him_ as the brutish monster. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/29 "2021-12-14T05:13:32Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > There seems to be an axiomatic assumption that being a zombie is a seriously undesirable condition – but does anybody know? Given the frequent apocalyptic outcome to zombie outbreaks, the R0 for zombie virus is astronomical. Food sources just keep turning into more zombies. So zombies are condemned to a state of perpetual malnutrition. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs tells us that zombies cannot live happy and fulfilled lives, at least not until zombie researchers develop Impossible Brains made from plant material. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/30 "2021-12-14T05:21:51Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Has any investigation of zombies, in fact or fiction, questioned whether there’s anything so bad about becoming a zombie (or vampire, for that matter)? Zombies are generally non-sentient. I’d consider that a drawback. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/31 "2021-12-14T05:33:17Z")
Since zombies are non-factual, let’s move this to IMHO (from FQ). ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/32 "2021-12-14T05:46:12Z")
> [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > zombies are non-factual That’s what the skeptic always says just before a zombie eats their brains. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/33 "2021-12-14T06:25:00Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > That’s what the skeptic always says just before a zombie eats their brains If I’m wrong, I’ll just head down to the Winchester for a nice cold pint and wait for it all to blow over. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/34 "2021-12-14T06:41:20Z")
I’m thinking aikido. It’s entirely about throws and redirection of your enemy’s momentum. As an actual, practical martial art, it sucks against a real, thinking opponent, but the sort of mindless lunging that zombies are typically displayed utilizing is actually the ideal adversary for the techniques of the art. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/35 "2021-12-14T12:23:44Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > But if I’m surrounded my a horde wrestling isn’t likely to be all that useful. I don’t think any martial art would be effective in such a situation. And that’s the fundamental truth of this exercise. The prohibition against having weapons pretty much makes all martial arts equal, and by equal, I mean “mostly useless”. The best part of having such training is that you’d be less likely to freeze up when first confronted. Early, effective action to avoid the horde as much as possible would be the best thing to do. In thinking about this last night, I thought, Martial Arts probably isn’t the best training for this. Learning how to be a ball carrier in American Football or rugby probably would be the best thing. Think about it: when you have the ball, you’re the one person that all the players on the other team are looking to bring down, and they’ll work as a group to do that. The first one or two to get close to you and force you to swerve and/or slow down will slow you down just enough that players 3, 4, 5 can get better hits, take you to the ground, and then let all the other players land on top of you to finish you off. A guy who can avoid all those players to run the length of the field for a touchdown would probably be the best (unarmed, at least) anti-zombie “fighter”. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/36 "2021-12-14T12:31:16Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Food sources just keep turning into more zombies. So zombies are condemned to a state of perpetual malnutrition. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs tells us that zombies cannot live happy and fulfilled lives, at least not until zombie researchers develop Impossible Brains made from plant material. This has always been a problem for any “Things that hunt humans want to take over the world” story. I’m currently re-watching “The Strain” (on Disney+, which really seems off-brand), and that’s the part that really stands out. In any predator-prey relationship, you need to have a lot more of the prey population to support the predator population, or the prey gets wiped out pretty quickly. Think of the size of a pride of lions or a pack of wolves vs. the size of a herd of wildebeasts or bison. If Vampires or zombies ever did convert even 25% of the human population, the remaining 75% would be eaten as food in short order. Now, I don’t expect decent long-term planning from zombies, but I expect better from Vampires. Oh, man, does that make me a Monster Racist?!? At least werewolves only have to hunt a few nights of the month. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/37 "2021-12-14T14:43:30Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > So you’re facing a horde of shamblers-the slow infectious bitey kind. You’re very experienced in martial arts but don’t have any weapons. What’s the best fighting art to use to get away? Assume that once you’ve knocked enough down that you can get away. If they are the slow type, I’d suggest fast walking away. None of the martial arts I’ve studied would be very effective against a zombie without a weapon, so, walk quickly away and pick up a weapon is the best suggestion. A spear or anything that keeps the zombies at arm’s length. I wouldn’t even want to get to sword’s length for fear that cutting into a zombie (and it would have to be a decapitation strike) would cause infected blood to hit me (let alone the whole bitting me thingy). Martial arts are effective against humans because they use pain and leverage against the opponent. If neither of those things works, then it would be less than useless against a zombie…just wasted energy for no benefit. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/38 "2021-12-14T14:50:38Z")
The key question is… WW **CN** D? ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/39 "2021-12-14T14:54:50Z")
> [@XT](#): > > Martial arts are effective against humans because they use pain and leverage against the opponent. If neither of those things works, then it would be less than useless against a zombie…just wasted energy for no benefit. Any blow that doesn’t cause structural damage to the skeleton is basically worthless. I don’t care how “undead” you are, if you have a broken thigh bone, you’re not standing and walking in any kind of efficient manner. The problem with this is, without weapons, breaking a big bone like that is really difficult, and any blow you make that can break someone else’s bones also has a good chance of breaking your bones too. And since you have to break _a lot_ of legs in this scenario, it’s a near certainly that you’ll break yourself too, eventually. In a Zombie apocalypse, a broken foot is probably a death sentence. Taking out their knees would be safer, but it would probably be less effective than an actual broken bone. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2021, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014/40 "2021-12-14T15:15:13Z")
> [@Horatius](#): > > Any blow that doesn’t cause structural damage to the skeleton is basically worthless. I don’t care how “undead” you are, if you have a broken thigh bone, you’re not standing and walking in any kind of efficient manner. That’s true enough, but would it be worth the risk? To me, the answer is no. I mean, sure…could I break a zombie’s knee? Certainly, I could. But any such attack risks injury to the attacker, and getting that close means there is a risk of infection or maybe a bite. All to basically disable a zombie and make it crawl. But if there are 10 of them? 100? What good is that, really? Basically, if I had no choice I’d try that, but if I could walk or run away, I’d do that and look for a weapon…preferable a gun, but at a minimum, a staff or spear would be my choice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-martial-art-in-a-zombie-attack/956014.md?page=3)