# Best medieval nickname EVER! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 24, 2005, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625 "2005-02-24T01:50:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/21 "2005-02-24T15:49:28Z")
Nothing’s topped the nickname of the Viking raider Ivar Ragnarsson in my opinion. I mean, **Ivar the Boneless**? That guy had style. ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2005, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/22 "2005-02-24T16:01:42Z")
Was he friends with Radnar Hairytrousers? (yes it’s real) ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/23 "2005-02-24T16:26:07Z")
> [@owlstretchingtime](#): > > Was he friends with Radnar Hairytrousers? (yes it’s real) Son of, actually. Ivar the Boneless was the fourth son of Ragnar Lodbrok, or “Hairy Breeches”. It’s kind of disappointing that the Scandinavian conquests didn’t last. We all could have had names like that. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2005, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/24 "2005-02-24T16:49:56Z")
> [@grimpixie](#): > > I bet they never called him [Charles the Fat](http://www.answers.com/topic/charles-the-fat) to his face either… but then his dad was Louis the German, so anything else had to have been better… It was much more likely that someone may have called Charles the Fat by his nickname to his face, than Edward the Martyr. Consider the first qualification of becoming a martyr. Especially back then. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/25 "2005-02-24T17:01:46Z")
> [@owlstretchingtime](#): > > Ludwig the Stupid is going to take some beating. William of Normandy was universally known as William the Bastard. It does what it says on the tin. His sons included “William Rufus” (the red), Robert Curthose (which literally means “Bob Shortpants”) and Henry Beauclerc (which means “beautiful scholar”, which basically meant he could write his name and read a little). ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/26 "2005-02-24T18:27:48Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > Wasn’t there a French royal named **Pepin the Short**. Yes and it’s an amusing name considering he’s Charlemagne’s father. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/27 "2005-02-24T18:40:32Z")
> [@Mississippienne](#): > > My personal favorite? Ulick Burke Bod-an-Balcuigh, Lord of Clanricarde. His name, when translated from Irish Gaelic, means Penis of Power. There’s got to be a story behind that one. “Penis of Power?” “_Ulick_ Burke?” Forget the She-Ra joke, I think we’ve discovered the historical Dick Assman. > [@Max Torque](#): > > Lots of internet sites list an Eric II, king of Denmark, who died in 1104. They state, “He was known as Eric the Memorable, but no one remembers why.” That’s what we call “successful branding.” > [@Sampiro](#): > > Robert Curthose (which literally means “Bob Shortpants”) At least he got a yellow, effeminate cartoon character named after him. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/28 "2005-02-24T20:28:45Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > Wasn’t there a French royal named **Pepin the Short**. > [@Aesiron](#): > > Yes and it’s an amusing name considering he’s **Charlemagne** ’s father. And Charlemagne’s mother was **Bertha Big-Foot**! Another amusing name: **Heinrich Jasomirgott** (“So help me God…”). Discuss. ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2005, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/29 "2005-02-24T23:46:52Z")
> [@Mississippienne](#): > > Oh, and **Harold Harefoot**. Magnus Magnusson translates the name as “Hairbreeks” (or was that the original), meaning “hairpants” after his supposedly fireproof pants. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/30 "2005-02-25T02:26:51Z")
The geneological sections of the Icelandic sagas are fine sources for evocative names. In Njal’s Saga, one hears of Grim Hairycheek, grandson of Hallbjorn Halftroll of Ravensfood. (Unfortunately, one doesn’t hear enough.) ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/31 "2005-02-25T02:41:46Z")
There’s also [Henry the Impotent](http://www.wga.hu/tours/spain/henry4.html) of Castile. Poor guy. I came across a reference to a medieval court entertainer called “Roland the Farter” in a theater history book once. Unfortunately, most of the details of his performances seem to be lost to history. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/32 "2005-02-25T03:12:26Z")
> [@Chairman Pow](#): > > Magnus Magnusson translates the name as “Hairbreeks” (or was that the original), meaning “hairpants” after his supposedly fireproof pants. Arthur: I am Arthur, King of the Britons, and I bear the magic sword Excalibre, against which no armor can stand! Siegfried: I am Siegfried, chosen of Wotan, and I have the golden ring Nibelung, forged by the mad dwarf Alberich! Magnus: I am Magnus Magnusson, and my pants don’t catch fire! Arthur & Siegfried: Shut the fuck up, Magnus. The really sad part is the poor quality of our modern nicknames for our leaders. C’mon. Shrub and Slick Willie? It’s pathetic. That’s one of the big reasons why I was sorry Bush won. Say what you like about his politics, “President Gore” sounds pretty intimidating. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/33 "2005-02-25T03:18:16Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > The really sad part is the poor quality of our modern nicknames for our leaders. C’mon. Shrub and Slick Willie? It’s pathetic. William the Potent? ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/34 "2005-02-25T03:31:30Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Arthur: I am Arthur, King of the Britons, and I bear the magic sword Excalibre, against which no armor can stand! > > Siegfried: I am Siegfried, chosen of Wotan, and I have the golden ring Nibelung, forged by the mad dwarf Alberich! > > Magnus: I am Magnus Magnusson, and my pants don’t catch fire! > > Arthur & Siegfried: Shut the fuck up, Magnus. > > The really sad part is the poor quality of our modern nicknames for our leaders. C’mon. Shrub and Slick Willie? It’s pathetic. That’s one of the big reasons why I was sorry Bush won. Say what you like about his politics, “President Gore” sounds pretty intimidating. Say what you will, but _nobody_ fucks with a guy called magnus and live to tell about it. BTW, I have to think that “the Axe” is a damn sweet thing to be known as. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/35 "2005-02-25T03:33:49Z")
> [@lno](#): > > Nothing’s topped the nickname of the Viking raider Ivar Ragnarsson in my opinion. I mean, **Ivar the Boneless**? That guy had style. I was going to bring up old Ivar, but I thought he rather spoiled the fun because his nickname is believed to be based on a genetic disorder: partial osteogenesis imperfecta. Apparently, he had cartilage rather than bones in his legs, and had to be carried into battle on a shield. Seems he was a tactician rather than a warrior. Re: Bill Clinton: How about William the Cigar Abuser? Doctor StrangeSmoke? Or, dare I say it, Wet Willie? (And I LIKED the guy, mind you.) ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/36 "2005-02-25T03:34:46Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > The really sad part is the poor quality of our modern nicknames for our leaders. C’mon. Shrub and Slick Willie? It’s pathetic. That’s one of the big reasons why I was sorry Bush won. Say what you like about his politics, “President Gore” sounds pretty intimidating. True. And you’d be hard-pressed to stick an intimidating nickname to G.W. Bush anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/37 "2005-02-25T04:24:53Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > I like Louis the Sluggard, Louis the Fat, William the Bastard, Robert the Devil and Isabella the Wolf-Bitch. Does this remind anyone else of _Blackadder_? I particularly like William the Bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/38 "2005-02-25T06:21:41Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > True. And you’d be hard-pressed to stick an intimidating nickname to G.W. Bush anyway. Tell that the Saddam Hussein, or either of his sons if you can find enough of them left to make a whole head. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/39 "2005-02-25T07:53:09Z")
> [@Fretful Porpentine](#): > > There’s also [Henry the Impotent](http://www.wga.hu/tours/spain/henry4.html) of Castile. Poor guy. Even more humilitating: his “daughter” was popularly known as Juana La Beltraneja, “Beltran’s girl”. Beltran was Henry’s buddy. Ouch. Wilfred Pilosus, known as “the hairy” because “…he was hairy in places not normally so in men…” (_Gesta comitum barcinonensium_) How about most inappropriate names? The wrongly-named Pope Innocent VIII had two illegitimate children. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/96bed5/32.png) [@Cat\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2005, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625/40 "2005-02-25T09:09:06Z")
Really enjoying this thread. 🙂 I thought some one would beat me to it but the French, who never really got the hang of intimidating nicknames, also had a **Charles the Bald** that’s right folks I haven’t mixed my vowels - bald not bold. Maybe they’re just unforgiving of those who don’t conform to conventional ideas of beauty and height. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/best-medieval-nickname-ever/291625.md?page=3)